# TMI: Do you masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195 "2005-07-05T21:47:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/61 "2005-07-06T08:47:06Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > Hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with manual. I’m still up for a two-finger tango any day of the week – the Hitachi is just one helluva toy. Don’t really like mine, but that’s not the point. I just wanted to use the “manually” line to see if anyone caught the movie reference. Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/62 "2005-07-06T09:00:18Z")
19, male, maybe 5 times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/63 "2005-07-06T09:40:40Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > Don’t really like mine, but that’s not the point. I just wanted to use the “manually” line to see if anyone caught the movie reference. > > Anyone? :smack: Big Lebowski, duh. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/64 "2005-07-06T12:50:15Z")
As if I beat my dong. It’s just not worth the risk of going blind. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/65 "2005-07-06T12:51:17Z")
How do you think this guy 🆒 got like that? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/66 "2005-07-06T13:03:25Z")
I masturbate like a motherfuck! Woo! Seriously, two times a day ast least. Weekends, when I don’t have to go to work, maybe it will get to three or four. Male, 22. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/67 "2005-07-06T13:09:10Z")
I masticate every day, of course. What? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/68 "2005-07-06T14:33:20Z")
Meh, not much drive these days from stress, so maybe once a month or two when the mood strikes me or I’m out of town or really stressed? Only figured out how to do it when I was 22 or so, was an afficionado for a year or so, picked up a steady and permanent man, and get enough loving from there. Nothing against it, it just doesn’t occur to me much. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/69 "2005-07-06T14:36:26Z")
What I’m curious about is whether anyone [del]else[/del] would admit to owning a [Fleshlight](http://www.fleshlight.com/). :o ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/70 "2005-07-06T14:48:51Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > What I’m curious about is whether anyone [del]else[/del] would admit to owning a [Fleshlight](http://www.fleshlight.com/). > :o I don’t own one but I am considering buying one. I just haven’t been able to justify paying $50 to do something when I can do it for free with my own two hands. Plus I hear it’s a pain to clean and store them properly. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/71 "2005-07-06T14:58:25Z")
Um, no. Really, why would you ask? Oh, that. Well, I was adjusting myself and had some difficulty. I mean, uh, yeah I was conditioning my hair, that’s why the shower took so long. Ok, look, 'scuse me, I have to go lie down for a bit, don’t disturb me, I’ll be out soon. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/72 "2005-07-06T14:58:53Z")
I do it about once a week or so, maybe twice. I have trouble orgasming with just the sex anymore, so after we’re done I’ll sometimes finish myself off. Sometimes when we’re tired or during the week of red we’ll masturbate at each other. 🙂 It’s fun. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/73 "2005-07-06T15:38:47Z")
F 23 Never used to, I just didint have the patience, it takes a while for me with manual stimulation. Then my BF left for work across the country for three months and gave me a goodbye gift to entertain myself. I discoved that I love toys, vibrators are one of the greatest inventions, and it works for me in no time. I have kind of grown additcted and when my BF comes back he is going to have some competition 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/74 "2005-07-06T16:19:22Z")
As it happens, I’m typing this post with one hand. I’m not even kidding. I have a blood nose, and my left hand is stopping the bleeding. Really! Anyway, for the benefit of anyone I know in real life that happens to be reading: I admit nothing! I am the beacon of purity that I always pretend to be in person. _cough_ Also, I’m a twenty-year-old male. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to masticate my comestibles. ~ Isaac ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/75 "2005-07-06T16:38:34Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Why is this thread so difficult to see? It’s hard to type with hairy palms and poor eyesight. ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/76 "2005-07-06T16:46:25Z")
some funny/sick puppies around here… male 35 married…yea I still do. It runs in spurts, no pun, sometimes its everyday for a week, and sometimes only once a week. Another question that should be asked to the men is: What age did you learn that soap does make for a good lube? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/77 "2005-07-06T16:53:32Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > …the carpal tunnel is not from masturbating, so stop it right now. How the hell would you know? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/78 "2005-07-06T16:55:57Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > When I was a kid I beat it like a rented mule. Seriously, I was amusing myself by abusing myself on a multi-daily basis. If I had the time on the weekends - and oh, did I have free time on the weekends - I’d flog the dog three, four, five times a day. At a minimum I’d be shucking the oyster twice daily. Why sure I’m a masterbater Certainly mighty proud I say, I’m always mighty proud to say it I consider the hours I spend with a dick in my hand are golden Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye Didja ever make, try to make, with an iron-clad hold on yourself a three-foot semen shot? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and dexterity to score with a one-eyed snake I say that any boy can take his dick and shoot a load And I call that sloth; the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say, first- the Vicoria’s Secret ads, then Playmates in Playboy And the next thing you know your son is playin’ with himself in his birthday suit And lookin’ at some big bustin’ out boobs read her tale about horserace playin’ Not a wholesome trottin’ race, no, but a race where they dress up like a horse Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sittin’ on Miss America? Make your blood boil, well I should say Now, folks, let me show you what I mean You’ve got one, two, three, four, five, six million sperm in a load Sperm that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum With a capital ‘B’ and that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for ‘pulling off’ And all week long, your River City youth’ll be fritterin’ away I say, your young men’ll be fritterin’ Fritterin’ away their noontime, suppertime, choretime, too Take his dick and shoot a load never mind gettin’ dandelions pulled or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded Never mind pumpin’ any water ‘til your parents are caught with a cistern empty on a Saturday night and that’s trouble Oh, ya got lots and lotsa trouble I’m thinkin’ of the kids in the knickerbockers, shirttailed young ones jackin’ in the bathroom after school Ya got trouble, folks, right here in River City with a capital ‘T’ and that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for ‘pulling off’ ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/79 "2005-07-06T17:04:35Z")
Male / 30 years old. The concept of masturbation came to me rather startlingly at the age of 12, before I even understood the concept of intercourse. I just knew it felt good. With the exception of a few breaks for food, sleep, school, work and marriage, I’ve been going at it pretty well non-stop since then. Alright, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. 🙂 Frequency went down pretty dramatically with marriage, although some weeks still involve more me-handling than others. A lot depends on whether my mood and my wife’s mood are in synch that week and how tired we are by the time we both settle into bed. Before getting married, I’d have to say 1-2 times per day. As for tips…I claim no particular expertise. But my wife did introduce me to the concept of using “Wet” on myself. On the rare occasion that I actually stop to think about _how_ I’m going to go about it rather than just going for it, the lubrication makes for a rather pleasant addition. Hi. My name is Asimovian, and this is the first time I’ve admitted to masturbating in public. Er, admitted publically to masturbating. (The first one’s a different thread.) ((Stupid misplaced modifiers.)) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/80 "2005-07-06T17:17:40Z")
**Lute** , that was beautiful!! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195.md?page=5)