# TMI: Do you masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195 "2005-07-05T21:47:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/101 "2005-07-06T23:48:42Z")
I use lube when I need it. I prefer to read my porn - I’ve got a favorite website bookmarked. Hmmm … I’ll be back later. ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/102 "2005-07-07T00:04:52Z")
When I’m out of work possibly 3-5 times a day. I’m 20/Male/in a full time relationship. When I first started, I once came 13+ times in one day 3 of which were to Maid Marian in the Robin Hood film with Sean Connery. I know, I need help. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/103 "2005-07-07T00:21:22Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Electro stimulation, it can keep you hard and dribbling pre-cum for ages. So can being 18. But when you say electrostimulation, surely you’re not talking about sounds+electricity? Like [these?](http://www.body-language.com/cat52_1.htm) (slightly NSFW). Or maybe no one really does that, and I have this way of finding the most horrible sexual practices that exist in the world. (My opinion of sounds is that I’ll never, ever touch them. Meat Loaf tells me that 2 out of 3 orifices I’ll allow to be penetrated ain’t bad, or something like that. And also, I think it’s funny to have “Meat Loaf” juxtaposed with something talking about penetration \. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/104 "2005-07-07T00:28:46Z")
Nope, just found some information about electrostimulators. No link, sorry, and I apologize for being ignorant about crazy medical fetishes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/105 "2005-07-07T02:56:23Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > \my positioning is different than most females. Sorry, I just can’t that go by without a slight hijack. Details? ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/106 "2005-07-07T03:14:11Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > I don’t own [a Fleshlight] but I am considering buying one. I just haven’t been able to justify paying $50 to do something when I can do it for free with my own two hands. By that logic, nobody would pay for sex (or work hard for it). 😉 (I’m not saying a Fleshlight is good as sex, but it’s definitely better than my hands.) > [@](#): > > Plus I hear it’s a pain to clean and store them properly. Not really. Just rinse it with warm water and let it dry. But the inserts _are_ more fragile than what you’d expect of a plastic sex toy - it has a softness/consistency of Jello, maybe softer. ---
**Author:** ![mojave66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/107 "2005-07-07T06:13:31Z")
Yes, NOW I can. Stupid Wellbutrin. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/108 "2005-07-07T06:40:53Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > Sorry, I just can’t that go by without a slight hijack. Details? Basically, I make a fist with one hand and then wrap my other hand around it. I lay on top of my hands and hump them like a bunny on speed. I started doing it in my pajamas so I like having a layer of cloth between my hands and my genitals. I’ve gotten to the point where I can come very easily while laying still on my hands, although it’s more fun to move around. As for what I masturbate to, I think of all sorts of things when I masturbate. I’ve been visualizing gay male porn ever since I was very little and that’s still what gets me going the most. Like a lot of males, I am visually oriented so I mostly just think about hard cocks. ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/109 "2005-07-07T06:48:06Z")
[hijack] Well, **kimera** , I see this is your 1000th post! Way to go! :::passes out party hats, pops the Champagne::: This is NOT a post count party…. Just happened to notice…. [BY Jack] ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/110 "2005-07-07T07:07:10Z")
This thread has turned into testosteronal one-umsmanship… I will give you the sad truth, ladies. I have made photoshopped happy-penis men with pictures of my own penis for girlfriends, a happy-faced smilin’, lil’ man… I like to buy my vaseline bulk-generic… I like couple, group, or threesome sex… I am extremely turned on by hippy, short, dark haired and freckled, big and beautiful, women. I also have a redhead “fetish”… I enjoy slow and sensual masturbastion and sex. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/111 "2005-07-07T10:53:37Z")
I do it one to three times a week, with my Hitachi. If I start out in the morning, I’ll often go back to it later in the day. I don’t need lube because I don’t use insertion type toys. I fantasize about being intimate with a man, mostly caressing and kissing. I don’t invision nekkid men posing for me. Sometimes I think about being intimate with hot women. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/112 "2005-07-07T15:17:25Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > But when you say electrostimulation, surely you’re not talking about sounds+electricity? Like [these?](http://www.body-language.com/cat52_1.htm) (slightly NSFW). Or maybe no one really does that, and I have this way of finding the most horrible sexual practices that exist in the world. sounds aren’t necessary, simple skin patch electrodes are fine. It just feels like a vibrator where your muscles are the vibrator, control on the TENS machine can make the sensation anything from a gentle tickle, to buzzing, to throbing. to real pain. The pain is only used if you like pain, but the rest is very stimulating. The electrodes can be attatched to many places on a male or female, and as long as you are careful to ensure no current has a path through the heart or brain it is very safe. There does not seem to be any account of harm from TENS units used in physiotherapy or fun ever causing a heart attack, but it seems sensible to do all you can to avoid such a risk. So unfortunately you mustn’t pass the current between your SO’s nipples. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/113 "2005-07-07T15:22:23Z")
Yep. I do. It’s great. ANY orgasam is great! Don’t matter how I get one, either. Although, hubby is talented and inventive at giving me orgasams, so I prefer the way he does it! Heck, I’m even an old woman of 43! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/114 "2005-07-07T18:54:56Z")
> [@Janx](#): > > [hijack] > > Well, **kimera** , I see this is your 1000th post! Way to go! :::passes out party hats, pops the Champagne::: > > This is NOT a post count party…. Just happened to notice…. > > [BY Jack] Best 1000th post ever. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/115 "2005-07-08T03:04:40Z")
The combination of being 6 pages deep into the thread plus a substantial intake of Russell’s Reserver 101 Proof Wild Turkey 10 year old bourbon is causing me to think I can tell my secrets without being defined by them forevermore. (Am I really going to regret this tomorrow?) • Interruptions are wonderful. Plan them. Do, umm, stuff. counting specified stroke-movements or minutes/seconds, and upon reaching an agreed-upon point, STOP. Zip up, pretend you got interrupted by your mom or dad or kid or sibling or boss or neighbor and go do other stuff for half an hour. Then start again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s not like the ultimate authority as far as getting there isn’t dependabliy friendly to you. • (Assuming you are male) Synthetic lubrication? Yecch. Dry is better. If you’re abrading anything dear to you, you’re going too damn fast. Tease your parts. Lubrication will produce itself in entirely sufficient quantities, assuming your plumbing is in normal working order, at the time when it is most needed. Not that you should really need any. If you can’t get to a glorious resolution on entirely dry surface contact, you either need to have the callouses on your hand looked at or you haven’t understood the word “play” as other folks use it. • Pencils. This is mostly a GirlThing, and as a person lacking female merchandise I can only pass it along with no more than 2nd-party participant-testimony verification. But the seams of jeans, around where they meet, can be fun to trace with the tip of a pencil, and if you kind of twist a pencil it tends to dig in where you twist it. With a little practice it is possible to moisten denim along the seams-lines, and once moistened it tends to become even more fun to probe. I say mostly a GirlThing because I have suspicions about the likely efficacy of turning the tables, but can’t testify (at least not as of yet). • Also a GirlThing, mostly. Vibrators can be fun to deploy on people who are still clothed. They can also slip between torsos during coital activities, especially the smaller battery-powered units, and if one happens to be of the guyish persuasion and enjoys steering, these little units can pick up where you leave off until you’re ready for another go. Or if you’re the one with the GirlParts, try piloting one while your companion is still immersed in you. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/116 "2005-07-08T03:06:36Z")
I’m taking notes here, **AHunter3**. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/117 "2005-07-08T03:35:16Z")
Female, 40 (when did that happen?), married. Yep. Vibrator, usually. It’s quick and efficient! ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/118 "2005-07-08T04:21:27Z")
Whether I need it or not… When I was a kid, it would have been SO humiliating to talk about it with…anyone. As an adult, I talk about it all the time. My friends now know too much about me… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/119 "2005-07-08T15:38:23Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I can’t tell you how happy I am to know I’m not the only one who has this turn of phrase in their head. To be honest, I didn’t have it until **Rick** prompted the _Music Man_ parody. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195/120 "2005-07-08T17:57:08Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > • Interruptions are wonderful. Plan them. Do, umm, stuff. counting specified stroke-movements or minutes/seconds, and upon reaching an agreed-upon point, STOP. Dude, you are my new hero. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-do-you-masturbate/311195.md?page=7)