# TMI: Earwax as a test for STD's? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 1, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882 "2004-08-01T23:08:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/1 "2004-08-01T23:08:32Z")
A friend was telling me the other day that supposedly one can detect certain STD’s a woman might have by… inserting a bit of earwax into her vagina. If she screams, she’s got (whatever STD this puports to test for), if not she might scream anyway, due to such a disgusting act. I guess she’s not supposed to see you pick your ear. I find this disgusting, improbable, and degrading. I’m sure much fun will be had with the replies, but I really want to be able to tell my friend that he’s full of crap and be able to back it up. [sub]I am in no way endorsing such an activity[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/2 "2004-08-02T00:37:43Z")
You feel this assertion is stong enough on it’s own, that you need a _cite_ before you feel confident enough to tell him he’s full of crap. :dubious: Do you owe him money or something? ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/3 "2004-08-02T00:51:09Z")
Anecdotal evidence would be enough. Your argument against it is? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/4 "2004-08-02T01:02:49Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Anecdotal evidence would be enough. No, it wouldn’t. You’d have to try many different types of ear wax with different chemical compositions, each applied to the nether-regions of women with different STDs, and measure the results. You’d also need a control group with no STDs. > [@dnooman](#): > > Your argument against it is? No one needs an argument against it until an argument _for_ it has been presented. Thus far, none has. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/5 "2004-08-02T01:33:04Z")
If he’s relying on this method to keep clear of infected partners, he’s going to get laughed out of the clinic when he goes for his antibiotic prescription. “But…but…I did the earwax test on her, and she didn’t scream!” “The what?” Could you ask him exactly _why_ she’s supposed to scream? Does it instantly hurt terribly due to the incredible corrosive property the earwax gains when it comes in contact with the infected tissues, or does the combination of earwax + infected mucous membrane = nervous short circuit to the diaphragm and vocal cords that generates a completely involuntary scream? Or is it something else just as ridiculous? Seriously. I wanna hear the reasoning behind this one. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/6 "2004-08-02T01:47:32Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Does it instantly hurt terribly due to the incredible corrosive property the earwax gains when it comes in contact with the infected tissues This is pretty much what he said. FTR I did tell him he was full of shit. I told him his explanation was worthless, and he dared me to prove him wrong. There you have it. If you think I actually believe him, you’re wrong. If you can contribute _factually_ then please do so. If you feel the need to be derisive, do whatever it is you need to do to make yourself feel better. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/7 "2004-08-02T02:13:20Z")
I apologize for my cynical tone, but you are apparently asking in all seriousness in the OP if this is potentially true or not. Common sensically simply on a personal hygiene basis most people have a passing affiliation with their own ear wax (or their kids or SOs) and consider it to be a fairly inert substance by most empirical measures. That having an STD (of which there are many varieties) would wire a woman’s vagina to react immediately and painfully to her own earwax, yet allow penises and other objects to go rooting around is highly unlikely. It is _so_ unlikely that most people’s reaction would be “Are you retarded?” if someone told them this. You are presenting us with an over the top absurdity of an assertion and asking us to take it seriously instead of asking your friend why this reaction occurs. It’s like asking us to give you rhetorical ammo to argue with someone claiming the CIA is controlling his mind with Z rays. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/8 "2004-08-02T02:24:46Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > This is pretty much what he said. FTR I did tell him he was full of shit. I told him his explanation was worthless, and he dared me to prove him wrong. There you have it. Just come right back and dare him to prove himself right. Have him explain to you exactly which STDs cause such a response, and the chemical reactions responsible. Have him cite his sources. Or, you could just tell him, “A group of telepathic aliens that happened to be passing by our planet told me that you’re full of shit. What’s that? You don’t belive me? Prove me wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/9 "2004-08-02T02:32:03Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I apologize for my cynical tone, but you are apparently asking in all seriousness in the OP if this is potentially true or not. Don’t sweat it. I didn’t think women could have teeth in their vaginas either, but that turned out to be true. Sometimes it pays to ask first. > [@astro](#): > > That having an STD (of which there are many varieties) would wire a woman’s vagina to react immediately and painfully to her own earwax, yet allow penises and other objects to go rooting around is highly unlikely. I agree. It’s supposed to be _your_ earwax in her cooch. (I can’t believe I’m explaining this) He suggested that earwax reacted negatively with an infected vagina. Whether it’s a PH thing or what, he didn’t know. I called bullshit and told him I’d prove it. Please no “burden of proof” crap people, I know, it’s not my obligation, but I’d like to at least try first. > [@astro](#): > > It is _so_ unlikely that most people’s reaction would be “Are you retarded?” Me for posing a question about a dubious statement, or him for actually believing it? I knew (see OP) there would be some posts that contained no factual content and plenty of sarcasm, I just hoped someone might have heard of this crap before. We’ll see. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/10 "2004-08-02T02:38:20Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > This is pretty much what he said. FTR I did tell him he was full of shit. I told him his explanation was worthless, and he dared me to prove him wrong. There you have it. > > If you think I actually believe him, you’re wrong. If you can contribute _factually_ then please do so. If you feel the need to be derisive, do whatever it is you need to do to make yourself feel better. I’m sorry if you interpreted my post as meaning I thought you believed him. The only person I was being derisive toward was your friend with the ridiculous idea. That said, it’s such a ludicrous notion that if he’s the kind of person who’d believe it and try to argue it, I doubt that calm reasoned evidence is going to carry any weight with him. I have been googling around and the only page I’ve yet found that mentions this myth is [this one.](http://www.checkoutthatbody.com/health.stdsmyths010.htm) I can’t vouch for its legitimacy as a source but it’s coded with such nice bright radioactive colors, your friend might actually pay attention. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/11 "2004-08-02T02:43:22Z")
Your friend has it totally backwards. It’s not that a scream prompted by the introduction of cerumen into the vagina indicates venereal infection at all – it’s like this: If she doesn’t react when you put semen in her ear, then in all probability she’s got the clap. It’s easy to see where the confusion comes from. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/12 "2004-08-02T02:48:36Z")
Thanks **Jenaroph** , that would be sufficient. Asked and answered as they say. ---
**Author:** ![Amyray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Amyray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amyray)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/13 "2018-01-11T17:06:31Z")
Oh dear… I looked this up because it came up in conversation as something my brother once told me when we were teens. I had no idea it was such a controversial subject. I will tell y’all the same thing I told him so long ago… If you feel the need to wax a girls “cooter” follow this one rule. " when in doubt don’t pull ur … Uhum… ×××× out" fill in the blank guys u know what ×××× is supposed to be lmao ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/14 "2018-01-11T17:30:23Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Don’t sweat it. I didn’t think women could have teeth in their vaginas either, but that turned out to be true. Sometimes it pays to ask first. Wait, what? ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/15 "2018-01-11T18:33:20Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Wait, what? > **[Do Some Women Have Teeth Inside Of Their Vaginas?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266040)** > > Is it true that there have been cases of women who had teeth growing inside their vaginas, and that these was discovered during gynecological exams? If so, what is the cause of this phenomenon? Do they have just one or two teeth or is it a... ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-earwax-as-a-test-for-stds/257882/16 "2018-01-11T18:52:18Z")
\*\*Amyray, \*\*we prefer that old threads in General Questions only be bumped to add new factual information. Since this does not, I’m closing it. Colibri General Questions Moderator