# TMI - I take care of my elderly Dad **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246 "2009-09-08T03:48:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/1 "2009-09-08T03:48:48Z")
My Dad lives with me and my husband, since almost four years ago. He’s 85. He doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s, thank Og. He does have a few other problems, but nothing that warrant a nursing home or in house nursing. Yet. TMI follows: His primary care physician has been wanting him to get a colonoscopy for 10 years or so. He’s having one at 6:30 am tomorrow. Dad finally agreed because he’s had bad constipation for six months or so, and has been giving himself OTC laxatives. (FTR, he takes constipating prescription meds, like Vicodin.) So he started the bowel prep meds for his colonoscopy today. UGH! He can’t tell when it’s coming on, and he made a huge mess. I’m consigned to staying up with him to help him clean up, and wash his pajamas, and clean the bathroom and the rugs when he needs it. He’s so embarassed. Poor baby. I love my dad, but… YUK! Just whining. It will be ok. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/2 "2009-09-08T03:51:13Z")
That’s a big mess no matter who makes it, elderly parent, child, spouse, self. Blecch! I feel for you, but at least it’s temporary! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/3 "2009-09-08T05:31:26Z")
For future reference, anyone undergoing that bowel prep should be prepared to stay on the toilet for a full four hours, if at all possible. Possibly six or eight hours. That medicine is extremely effective. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/4 "2009-09-08T05:34:11Z")
My mother has colonoscopies every year; she starts prep time by grabbing several books and placing them beside the toilet. It’s hours of “don’t bother moving from the throne.” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/5 "2009-09-08T13:09:26Z")
Ah, **Rebo** , you’re a good daughter. Just remember how much he appreciates what you’re doing for him. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/6 "2009-09-08T14:12:44Z")
Guess I won’t nag you about putting up a new Feud! 😃 I’ve had two colonoscopies. The nurse told me what to expect but I didn’t really believe her. “I can control this!” Yeah, right. For the second, I grabbed a pillow and a book and stayed in the bathroom. When I thought it was safe to go to bed, I laid a towel under me. Here’s hoping everything comes out okay for your dad! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/7 "2009-09-08T14:42:03Z")
Any people that he or you do not like whom he could visit for a few hours? > [@AuntiePam](#): > > Here’s hoping everything comes out okay for your dad! Quite the choice of words, given what is coming out of him. Anyway, good luck with it. Great that you love your dad and that you are taking care of him. Did the same with mine. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/8 "2009-09-08T14:47:03Z")
Poor you, having to deal with the mess. It was bad enough for me with kids, I can’t imagine it with an adult. Poor him, losing his dignity like that, in front of his daughter. I hope things turn out okay in the test. Here’s hoping tomorrow will be a better day all around. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/9 "2009-09-08T15:47:49Z")
He’s clean as a whistle! No polyps, no nuthin’! I’ll break out the carpet shampooer a little later. After I have a nap. 😉 Thanks for the kinds words, folks. \*\*AuntiePam \*\*- I’ll go put up a Feud right now! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/10 "2009-09-08T16:23:56Z")
Been there, done that. My husband takes care of his mom full time. She gets that way every time she took her gout medication. The doc put her on some new meds, and it’s improved significantly. But we’ve had more than our share of messes to clean up. **Dolores Reborn** , you’re doing a good thing. People who take care of the elderly are the closest thing to saints in my book. ETA: What is it recently with colonoscopies? Two of my co-workers are having to get one done. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/11 "2009-09-08T17:45:30Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > ETA: What is it recently with colonoscopies? Two of my co-workers are having to get one done. I think it’s becoming routine after age 50, maybe even age 40, and if there’s any colon cancer in the family. The hospital where I had mine seemed to be running an assembly line. Made me wonder if it’s a money-maker for the hospital. The bill for mine was $2300. For a procedure where the patient does most of the work, at home, and only spends a couple hours at the hospital with minimal care (nurse hands you a robe and a blanket), and maybe 15-30 minutes (?) with the surgeon, that’s kinda pricey. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/12 "2009-09-08T18:02:13Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > He’s clean as a whistle! No polyps, no nuthin’! > > I’ll break out the carpet shampooer a little later. After I have a nap. 😉 Break out the champagne too! ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/13 "2009-09-09T00:23:53Z")
When I had a colonoscopy a few years ago I had heard all the horror stories–how I would be up all night in the bathroom. So what I did was start watching what I ate 2 days before. I ate very light and no meat. Don’t remember exactly but mostly a salad and veggies and fruit, maybe soup or yogurt. Then the next day the jello/liquids as the prescription required and took the first drink of that wonderful salty stuff when I was supposed to and the other half the same. Bathroom before bed and in the morning before the procedure but I actually slept through the entire night. Not an ordeal at all. Maybe this will help someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/14 "2009-09-09T00:44:27Z")
> [@luv2draw](#): > > Maybe this will help someone else. Thanks! The way these things are going around my office, I might need this advice. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/15 "2009-09-09T02:04:49Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > I love my dad, but… YUK! > > Just whining. It will be ok. Yup, it sucks. Or rather, it stinks. My mother died of cancer, and it wasn’t nice. There was poo and pee and vomit and lots of other grossness. It was payback time, I guess, because I’m sure as a wee one, I produced lots of the same stuff for her to clean up. Doesn’t make it fun. You’re a good daughter, though, and kudos for you for doing what you’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-i-take-care-of-my-elderly-dad/509246/16 "2009-09-09T03:10:21Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > I think it’s becoming routine after age 50, maybe even age 40, and if there’s any colon cancer in the family. The hospital where I had mine seemed to be running an assembly line. Made me wonder if it’s a money-maker for the hospital. The bill for mine was $2300. For a procedure where the patient does most of the work, at home, and only spends a couple hours at the hospital with minimal care (nurse hands you a robe and a blanket), and maybe 15-30 minutes (?) with the surgeon, that’s kinda pricey. The guidelines I’ve seen recommend that everyone get one at 50, to establish a baseline if nothing else. Apparently, these tests catch a lot of little problems before they become big problems.