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**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 26, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726 "2003-02-26T20:43:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1
**Author:**  [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/1 "2003-02-26T20:43:13Z")
Let me start out by saying that I do not believe I suffer from constipation. I mean, I move my bowels on a daily basis and don’t have any particular discomfort when doing so.
It’s just that, no matter how long I sit there, I never seem to get rid of it all. I wait until I’ve done what I came to do and the feeling of need has passed, but when I go to wipe there is still a lot left over. And no matter how much I wipe, there’s STILL some left over. Invariably, I have to return to the bathroom a short time later to do even more wiping, and sometimes I can go throughout an entire day never feeling really clean. And yes, I do sometimes get nasty brown streaks on my underwear, thank you so much for asking.
Short of using a bidet or bringing an enema kit with me to work, any suggestions on what I can do about this problem? Could it be my diet? Or do I really just need to sit there until my thighs go numb in the hope that the urge to defecate will eventually return and allow me to fiinish the job?
Regards,
Barry
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**Author:**  [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/2 "2003-02-26T20:49:51Z")
push smarter, not harder
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**Author:**  [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/3 "2003-02-26T20:52:31Z")
Use paper.
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**Author:**  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/4 "2003-02-26T20:58:29Z")
Floss.
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**Author:**  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/5 "2003-02-26T21:07:22Z")
Where there’s ass, there’s **lieu**.
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**Author:**  [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/6 "2003-02-26T21:10:55Z")
Spoon.
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**Author:**  [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/7 "2003-02-26T21:14:13Z")
Ack.
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**Author:**  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/8 "2003-02-26T21:14:47Z")
Heh, nice to see you again as well **Amp**. 😃
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**Author:**  [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/9 "2003-02-26T21:14:58Z")
Speculum.
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**Author:**  [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/10 "2003-02-26T21:18:44Z")
Try using the pre-moistened wipes. You may want to put a little more fiber in your diet. It will kind of clump everything together so it all comes out at the same time.
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**Author:**  [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/11 "2003-02-26T21:27:45Z")
Given the topic, I suppose one serious answer out of nine is as best as I could have hoped for…
😉
Barry
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**Author:**  [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/12 "2003-02-26T21:40:36Z")
You know that toilet brush sitting in the corner?
Yeah.
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**Author:**  [@MissBungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBungle)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/13 "2003-02-26T22:04:59Z")
Yeah,… try the wetnap deal
if you sit to wipe… maybe try half up and down to wipe. bend over, spread them cheeks and dig deep. or if you already do THAt, try sitting to wipe.
since you’re a man, you might want to shave/wax your ass.
i know some men tend to be really fuzzy down there… and maybe the crap is adhering to the hairs. having a clean surface might help ya stay clean.
most importantly… DO NOT CLENCH till the bird has landed.
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**Author:**  [@racekarl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racekarl)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/14 "2003-02-26T22:42:58Z")
Are you sure you don’t have a hemerhoid (sp?)/piles? I think they can sometimes cause this phenomemon.
I third the premoistened wipes thing.
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**Author:**  [@gris\_gris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gris_gris)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/15 "2003-02-26T23:30:55Z")
man that happens to me sometimes I thought I was the only one!
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**Author:**  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/16 "2003-02-26T23:42:53Z")
It also helps to wet a clump of tp and wipe with that. Easier at home, where you can use the sink, but if you’re in a stall you can flush to get fresh water for dipping in toilet.
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**Author:**  [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/17 "2003-02-26T23:47:19Z")
The Master on [wiping techniques](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_373.html).
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**Author:**  [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/18 "2003-02-26T23:52:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Revtim \*
> \*\*It also helps to wet a clump of tp and wipe with that. Easier at home, where you can use the sink… \*\*
You wipe your ass with the sink? :eek:
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**Author:**  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/19 "2003-02-26T23:54:56Z")
How would you describe your diet? do you eat a fair amount of fresh fruit and veg, bread and cereals?
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**Author:**  [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\
**Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-no-matter-how-much-i-wipe-tmi/157726/20 "2003-02-27T00:01:30Z")
I eat a lot of carbs and a fair amount of fruit and veggies. I also drink a lot of water every day if that matters…
Barry
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