# TMI:The most unusual/interesting/odd thing(s) you've used to help along masturbation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431 "2005-02-04T21:32:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/41 "2005-02-06T16:23:59Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > Another gentleman’s addition to the list of home appliances used was a blender almost full of warm water, and _very, very, very careful_ “teabagging.” Good lord, man! “I think I’ll place my testicles near these rapidly rotating knives, then wank”! What do have to be smoking to have the thought even enter your head. And how exactly would you explain it to the admitting nurse? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/42 "2005-02-06T17:09:46Z")
> [@dontknowmuch](#): > > My ex just got a baby sister and for some reason the car seat vibrates. I also got her to use a sucker/lollipop for me :D, which I’m sure isn’t too uncommon. I really really think there are some pronouns in here that need clearing up! ---
**Author:** ![rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/43 "2005-02-06T17:20:42Z")
meh, heard worse case scenario (Darwin award winner/runner up actually) used to get his jollies on the belt of an assembly line. Till willy got caught and torn off. Its in the Darwin site if you dont believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/44 "2005-02-06T18:21:37Z")
I’ll not contribute my own misadventures, as I don’t want them recorded anyplace but my memory. However, the blender anecdote reminded me: An ex-manager of mine also worked on an EMS team. She relayed more than one story of men who though it was a good idea to experience some _Hoover-lovin’_. She also said the embarrassment of being wheeled in on a gurney cradling a vacuum under one arm was only outdone by the subsequent swelling and abrasions. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/45 "2005-02-06T18:58:21Z")
> [@Digital Stimulus](#): > > An ex-manager of mine also worked on an EMS team. She relayed more than one story of men who though it was a good idea to experience some _Hoover-lovin’_. She also said the embarrassment of being wheeled in on a gurney cradling a vacuum under one arm was only outdone by the subsequent swelling and abrasions. You should check out [this column.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_225.html) ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/46 "2005-02-06T19:30:10Z")
> [@Scruloose](#): > > You should check out [this column.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_225.html) Oh my. Sorry to disturb what should’ve been a…let’s say…_happy_ thread with tails of woe. It seems (to me, anyway) that women have a much better chance of using odd **ahem** implements without causing damage ( **yow** ). I mean, an _orbital sander_?!? If I weren’t cringing so severely at the mere thought of it, I might be jealous. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/47 "2005-02-06T20:09:47Z")
> [@](#): > > But I’m just metioning that to make me look better, as it was…a dog toy. Well, it was meant for the dog but it was such an interesting shape that i thought…well… There’s a site online which has a collection of pictures of dog toys and sex aids. The viewer is supposed to guess which is which. Most people miss at least a few. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/48 "2005-02-09T06:21:52Z")
> [@Digital Stimulus](#): > > I mean, an _orbital sander_?!? If I weren’t cringing so severely at the mere thought of it, I might be jealous. 😃 Maybe it wasn’t clear to you, but I interpreted it as the “business end” of the sander pointed away from the user, with the housing of the sander applied to the proper area, with terrific vibrations. But I’m just guessing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/49 "2005-02-09T07:57:28Z")
This may be way off topic but once when I was about 14 I used some lotion that had some type of “acid” in it and thought I was going to burn off my penis and my scrotum was on fire for a few hours. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/50 "2005-02-09T08:22:05Z")
I wasn’t going to read this thread. I _certainly_ wasn’t going to contribute. But after reading some of y’all’s. My motorcycle. Man, I loved that motorcycle. It was a warm summer night. I was riding along the flight-line of the Airforce base I was at. Middle of nowhere. Occasional roar of jets. Hot, vibraty motorcycle between my legs. I was wearing lots of leather. My motorcycle got me off. ::goes away and dies of embarrassment:: ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/51 "2005-02-09T09:08:04Z")
The glass chimney to a kerosene lamp. Another potentially embarassing trip to the ER narrowly averted. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/52 "2005-02-09T09:36:48Z")
My recent vanity thread in MPSIMS. And a picture of **SHAKES**. (Just kidding, dude. Deliberately trying to make you uncomfortable.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/53 "2005-02-09T12:48:04Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I wasn’t going to read this thread. I _certainly_ wasn’t going to contribute. But after reading some of y’all’s. > > My motorcycle. Man, I loved that motorcycle. It was a warm summer night. I was riding along the flight-line of the Airforce base I was at. Middle of nowhere. Occasional roar of jets. Hot, vibraty motorcycle between my legs. I was wearing lots of leather. My motorcycle got me off. > > ::goes away and dies of embarrassment:: Oh, yeah, forgot about that. Probably the reason why I loved the motorcycle I got to drive at 15, (in India), and why I had such a big crush on the cousin who taught me to drive it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/54 "2005-02-09T13:10:04Z")
Mmmmmmm… the shapely cool glass 7Up bottle… ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/55 "2005-02-09T15:27:07Z")
A nail polish bottle. I had just painted my nails and was watching tv, absentmindedly tapping the bottle against my crotch. Well, it started feeling kinda good, so I started tapping a little harder…and a few minutes later… :eek: hol-ee COW. I never brought myself off so good. And it was just a nail polish bottle!! ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/56 "2005-02-09T20:00:40Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > Maybe it wasn’t clear to you, but I interpreted it as the “business end” of the sander pointed away from the user, with the housing of the sander applied to the proper area, with terrific vibrations. But I’m just guessing. 🙂 Sure. For guys, I don’t think that vibrations are enough; usually requires some kind of motion. Which just brings entirely new and unwelcome meaning to the phrases “one wrong move…” **yikes** ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/57 "2005-02-09T20:46:18Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > One of those vibrating orbital sanders. Good god that thing was intense. Me too. Sans sand paper, of course. I second the “Good god that thing was intense”. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/58 "2005-02-09T23:35:32Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > Another gentleman’s addition to the list of home appliances used was a blender almost full of warm water, and _very, very, very careful_ “teabagging.” The blender of a guy in Racine Was used as a jerkoff machine On the fiftieth stroke The fucking thing broke And chopped both his balls to a cream ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/59 "2005-02-10T02:12:50Z")
> [@Digital Stimulus](#): > > I’ll not contribute my own misadventures, as I don’t want them recorded anyplace but my memory. Too late - your username gives you away… ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431/60 "2005-02-10T02:22:40Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > A nail polish bottle. > > I had just painted my nails and was watching tv, absentmindedly tapping the bottle against my crotch. Well, it started feeling kinda good, so I started tapping a little harder…and a few minutes later… > > :eek: hol-ee COW. > > I never brought myself off so good. And it was just a nail polish bottle!! Are you sure it wasn’t nail polish _remover_? Because that stuff is made specifically for getting it off. [sub]Yeah, I hate me for it too, but some things just have to be done.[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmi-the-most-unusual-interesting-odd-thing-s-youve-used-to-help-along-masturbation/288431.md?page=4)