# TMNT vs. The Spartans **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015 "2007-03-29T18:43:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/1 "2007-03-29T18:43:09Z")
Inspired by something I saw elsewhere on the internet (it was Livejournal, okay?), I pose to the teeming millions the following question: In mortal combat between the adolescent mutagenic half-shelled heroes and the contingent of Spartans from the movie _300_, who would emerge victorious? How would it play out? My take: They would both obliterate each other. The fight would last for days without cessation, with the turtles slowly taking out Spartans. Occasionally a turtle would fall, the Spartans having surrounded him. Eventually only Leo(nardo) and Leo(nidas) would be left, both injured and weakened. They would each make one final strike, and fall as warriors. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/2 "2007-03-29T19:05:37Z")
Spartans would give them nothing and take everything…including their pizza. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/3 "2007-03-29T23:55:38Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] Eventually only Leo(nardo) and Leo(nidas) would be left, both injured and weakened. They would each make one final strike, and fall as warriors. [/QUOTE] Dude, have you _played_ the game? Donatello is the best turtle. Now I haven’t seen the movie, but in the end it would come down to whether they have any spears that are as long as Donatello’s bo. Otherwise, Donatello would just find a spot up on some crates and then hit the Spartans from above whenever they approached. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/4 "2007-03-30T00:13:01Z")
Are we talking football? Michigan State by 30. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/5 "2007-03-30T00:24:15Z")
It really depends on the circumstances. Are the Spartans able to, say, hold a position in a narrow valley, so that the TMNT have to approach them from the front? Because I hear Spartans are really good with that. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/6 "2007-03-30T00:28:25Z")
Going with the game logic, Raphael would die before you can get to the Turtle Van and run over the Spartans. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/7 "2007-03-30T01:14:57Z")
[QUOTE=riker1384] Dude, have you _played_ the game? Donatello is the best turtle. Now I haven’t seen the movie, but in the end it would come down to whether they have any spears that are as long as Donatello’s bo. Otherwise, Donatello would just find a spot up on some crates and then hit the Spartans from above whenever they approached. [/QUOTE] I totally agree, Don is the best. But you can’t have two leaders named Leo and not pit them against each other. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/8 "2007-03-30T01:49:49Z")
I realize the Spartans lost, but that’s because they were fighting a much larger army. In this case, it’s strength in numbers. 300 against four is hardly a fair fight. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/9 "2007-03-30T01:54:08Z")
I saw that Livejournal entry. 😃 “THIS! IS! SPARTA!” “COWABUNGA!” “…Wait, what?” I call it on behalf of the Spartans, if only because I feel safer lusting over hot men in leather thongs and six-packs than computer-generated turtles. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tmnt-vs-the-spartans/398015/10 "2007-03-30T01:54:24Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] I realize the Spartans lost, but that’s because they were fighting a much larger army. In this case, it’s strength in numbers. 300 against four is hardly a fair fight. [/QUOTE] Dude, the turtles routinely kick ass when up against large numbers of the Foot clan. I mean, seriously, once you’ve accepted that radioactive goo created four gigantic, mutant turtles, who are mentored by a gigantic ninja rat sensei, it’s hardly a stretch to think that they couldn’t readily take on 300 attackers. 😛 \<— ninja turtle smiley!