# To all the SDMB cat people... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626 "2007-12-19T21:53:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/1 "2007-12-19T21:53:39Z")
[This cracked me up.](http://xkcd.com/231/) So true. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/2 "2007-12-19T22:11:10Z")
Yikes – I’m not the only one who \*actually says \* “You’re a kitty!”? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/3 "2007-12-19T22:15:06Z")
Actually, I have a bunny rabbit. Every time she comes up to me, I say, “Oh Hi! It’s a bunny!”. I then pick her up and kiss her face and say, “I’m kissin’ yur bunny face.” Manly, I know. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/4 "2007-12-19T22:16:25Z")
That’s silly. Far sillier than “Look at that kitty face.” Which the cat can’t actually do without a mirror, come to think of it. ETA: At least I’m female. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/5 "2007-12-19T22:18:34Z")
Alternate: “Who’s a kitty? You are! _You_ are!” ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/6 "2007-12-19T22:19:45Z")
Now everyone knows how crazy we really are. I tell my kitty she is a kitty. I also ask her “Who’s a kitty?” and “Where’s my kitty?”. When she just wanders around the house meowing (for reasons known only to her) and wanders by me I’ll say, “It’s a kitty cat.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/7 "2007-12-19T22:35:59Z")
I am shocked, shocked that people talk to their cats this way! ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/8 "2007-12-19T22:38:07Z")
What, I’m not the only one who says this? …along with “Who’s the pretty kitty? Whozzat?” followed by several incoherent high-pitched noises. Yes. I know it’s ridiculous. But the feline overlords demand it as tribute. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/9 "2007-12-19T23:03:03Z")
Not only are all four kitties informed that they are kitties on a daily basis, but I am also likely to announce to the two golden retrievers that they are large dogs. The “large” is important. You never know when one might mistake herself for a Chihuahua and try to hitch a ride in my purse. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/10 "2007-12-19T23:04:05Z")
I tell the kitties that they’re kitties. I am especially fond of telling the little one that not only is she a kitty, but that she’s a wittlefurrygraybabykitty! Ok, so she’s actually 6 years old, but she’s teeeeny. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/11 "2007-12-19T23:17:28Z")
I wonder a lot if my Miss Fritters knows she’s a cat. You know, like I know I’m a human. So I tell her all the time, “You’re a CAT. A CAT. Do you understand? A CAT.” I just want her to be conscious of that. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/12 "2007-12-19T23:19:39Z")
Cat! You’re a kitty cat! And you meow-meow-meow, and you meow-meow-meow. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/13 "2007-12-19T23:23:59Z")
i don’t inform them that they are cats. stretch the super duper gets: “who’s a boychick?” “stretch is a boychick.” that sort of thing. malenka the miraculous gets: “who’s da malenka?” “you’re the malenka.” etc. nod the naughty get: “naduuuuuuu.” “where’s the naduuuuu?” “you’re the naduuuu.” “naduuuu youuuuuuuu.” lather, rinse, repeat. they know their names rather well. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/14 "2007-12-19T23:31:41Z")
All right. You knew the time would come eventually. Please post the made-up songs you sing to the cat. You know the ones I’m talking about. They are about being a kitty, or substitute the cat’s name for the name of a person in the original lyrics. They may or may not detail the cat’s activities. Sometimes you make up the tune, but generally, you have improved upon an existing song. When you have no words left to rhyme with “cat,” you make up words. I shall begin: (sung to the air of La donna è mobile) _Row, row, Cairolius, She is my kitty cat. She is so round and fat, She is not thin or flat._ ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/15 "2007-12-19T23:38:44Z")
[QUOTE=KayElCee] Not only are all four kitties informed that they are kitties on a daily basis, but I am also likely to announce to the two golden retrievers that they are large dogs. The “large” is important. You never know when one might mistake herself for a Chihuahua and try to hitch a ride in my purse. [/QUOTE] Or she might think she’s a [Maltese](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltese_(dog)), and try to climb into your lap. Golden retrievers are lovely dogs, but they are not lap dogs. Sometimes I scoop up our small (6 pound) grey cat, flip her on her back, and rub her tummy, telling her all the while that she has itty bitty kitty titties. She does, too. We all saw this when her tummy was shaved for her sterilization. All three cats are told that they are kitties on a regular basis. Sapphire the Siamese is told more often, though, as she expects us to set a place for her at the table. She does get her own plate, but it is ON THE FLOOR. She is a CAT. She is NOT ALLOWED on the table. Or so we fondly believe. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/16 "2007-12-19T23:53:37Z")
The only thing that makes treating my cat with colitis this week tolerable is that I get to say, "Who’s the smelly grossbutt? You are. _You_ are! Who’s da most repulsive kitty in da house? _I_ know! It’s _Stinky!"_ ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/17 "2007-12-19T23:56:32Z")
when Smokey gets the ‘innocent’ look on her face, and her ears are relaxed, she has a perfectly proportioned cat face - so I call her “My Purrfect Little Kitty Face” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/18 "2007-12-20T00:04:36Z")
It’s da Rosie! It’s da Rosie! It’s da baby! It’s da baby! Good boy Buddy! Everybody loves Buddy! You’re a big boy, yes sir he is! You’re not bad like that baby! Good boy Buddy! Liiiiiilly girl! Liiiiiiiiiillllly girl! (Crash) Knock it off, you bunch of little shitheads! ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/19 "2007-12-20T00:05:39Z")
I must be the strange one. I never tell my cats they are cats. I think they know that. I call one “key key” so maybe that counts. I do have one cat named Bob. I tell him every day that he is " The Bob, The Bobster, The Bob Bob, The Big B and the Bobster Lobster just about everytime I speak to him. He will respond to any of these names on there own. I guess it is the “Bob” factor. I call all of my cats by at least one other name then their given name and they all respond. If someone was to hear me on those secret listening devices they would think I have twenty cats and more than a few dogs. These names of course do not include the swear words that may be spoken at times of frustration. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626/20 "2007-12-20T00:06:37Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana] … "Who’s the smelly grossbutt? You are. _You_ are! Who’s da most repulsive kitty in da house? _I_ know! It’s _Stinky!"_ [/QUOTE] Man, ain’t that the truth. Their butts are cute but can get really aromatic. We had to express the Fritters Cat’s anal glands this past weekend. Her butt was really stinky and I finally figured out what it was. She wasn’t happy during the procedure but seemed very relieved when we were finished. What’s kind of embarrassing is that we took her to Petsmart to get her photo taken with Santa right before that, and I hope her stinky butt didn’t gross him out. Okay, now for the kitty song: I love my kitty cat! I love my kitty cat! CHORUS: Meow, me- yow-yow! I love my kitty cat, I love my kitty CAT!! CHORUS: Meow, me- yow-yow! And so on, until everybody smacks me to shut me up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-the-sdmb-cat-people/430626.md?page=2)