# to all you industrial engineers.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278 "2000-10-09T16:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/1 "2000-10-09T16:22:43Z")
and all you “other people” I thought I’d share a funny joke I overheard. Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers! _Ba- **dum** -kish!_ thank you, thank you… If anyone needs me I’ll be in my closet, thinking of other dumb jokes to share ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/2 "2000-10-09T19:14:59Z")
Hear about the guy with the corduroy pillow? It made headlines. Hahahaha. Thank you, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/3 "2000-10-10T03:38:40Z")
Have you heard the vacuum cleaner joke? It sucks. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/4 "2000-10-10T05:00:06Z")
The definition of “yankee”? It’s a quickie, only you do it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/5 "2000-10-10T07:18:59Z")
Did you hear the joke about the roof? It’s over your head. Hear about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well… ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/6 "2000-10-10T09:20:20Z")
In the spirit of a citizen’s arrest, I’d like to instigate a citizen’s lock of this thread. BAD JOKES! BAAAAD JOKES! Oh, who am I kidding when it comes to taste? I frequently like to pretend that I’m Beavis. Heh heh … heh heh … heh heh … heh heh … heh heh … ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/7 "2000-10-10T14:05:14Z")
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? “Here come the elephants over the hill.” What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark sunglasses? Nothing, he didn’t recognize them. Bwahahahaha. Oh man. Wipe the tears from my eyes. Who wants more? ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/8 "2000-10-11T14:34:12Z")
What do you call a pig that has three eyes? Piiig! ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/9 "2000-10-11T14:52:48Z")
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bulldozer. Oh God. Stop me now. ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/10 "2000-10-11T20:37:41Z")
What looks likes popcorn, smells like popcorn and tastes like popcorn? Popcorn! ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/11 "2000-10-11T21:49:46Z")
Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moovies. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/12 "2000-10-11T23:20:45Z")
Where does Napoleon keep his army? In his sleevey. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/13 "2000-10-12T00:37:57Z")
Where do young cows eat? In the calf-eteria. Where do young cows go on field trips? To the moo-seum. -------------[sub])[/sub] :eek: ::runs away from hook:: ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/14 "2000-10-12T14:13:44Z")
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other cow replies, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks.” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/15 "2000-10-12T14:42:17Z")
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A. It didn’t have the guts to! * * * Q. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? A. They taste funny And now for your viewing pleasure… Jokes about people with no arms or legs! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/16 "2000-10-12T14:46:02Z")
What do you get if you goose a ghost?? A handful of sheet. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/17 "2000-10-12T14:46:27Z")
why was 6 scared of 7? because 7 8 9 A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a\>muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her\>husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked him. “Remember when your father caught us having sex when you were 16?” he replied. “And remember he said, I had two choices: I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison.” Baffled, she said, “yes, I remember, so?” “I would have gotten out today.” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/18 "2000-10-12T14:47:32Z")
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs, floating in the water? A. Bob Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs, on your front porch? A. Matt Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs, hanging on a wall? A. Art Q. What do you call two men with no arms or legs, hanging on a wall? A. Curt & Rod Q. What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other one? A. Eileen Q. What do you call an asian woman with one leg shorter than the other one? A. Irene Q. What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? A. Peg. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/19 "2000-10-12T14:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enright3 \* > \*\* > > And now for your viewing pleasure… Jokes about people with no arms or legs! \*\* By popular demand: What do you call a guy with no arms and legs at your front door? Matt What do you call a guy with no arms and legs water skiing? Skip ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278/20 "2000-10-12T15:30:41Z")
Where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-all-you-industrial-engineers/36278.md?page=2)