# To Hell With My Uterus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 11, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935 "2013-02-11T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/21 "2013-02-11T09:17:16Z")
\ I know exactly how you feel, I had mine yanked out with extreme prejudice a couple years back. Fantastic lifestyle enhancement. And for those with a semifunctioning reproductive system, learn this word and repeat it loudly and frequently at your OB/GYN: [NORETHINDRONE](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norethisterone) Stop that pesky pain, bleeding and general hormonal garbage in its tracks. I would normally offer the name of the guy who did my Da Vinci lap hysterectomy, but he is a gyn oncologist, so he probably wouldn’t take anybody on that didn’t have cellular friskiness going on. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/22 "2013-02-11T09:57:55Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > The only good thing was my daughter. And the sex was pretty good. You had sex with your own uterus? ew! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/23 "2013-02-11T10:31:00Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > You ladies have it easy. Sometimes when it’s hot, your dick sticks to your leg and you have to kind of peel it off before you urinate while standing up. You know what I’m talking about, fellas! Catch me when I’m PMSing or crampy, and I’d be utterly delighted to remove that problem for you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/24 "2013-02-11T10:41:37Z")
I had my uterus and ovaries taken out about a dozen years ago. Now, every time I go past the feminine hygiene aisle, I have to restrain myself from singing and dancing about how I don’t need that shit no more no more no more! Those organs can be more bother than they’re worth, unless you actually want to be churning out kids in the future. Once you have yours out, you will be able to do things like buy light colored pants. And buy pretty patterned panties, without worrying about whether or not they can withstand bleach. And you won’t have to carry a large pack of tampons and/or pads with you every day of the month, since you never know WHEN the uterus is going to erupt. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/25 "2013-02-11T11:08:46Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > And for those with a semifunctioning reproductive system, learn this word and repeat it loudly and frequently at your OB/GYN: > > [NORETHINDRONE](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norethisterone) > > Stop that pesky pain, bleeding and general hormonal garbage in its tracks. I would normally offer the name of the guy who did my Da Vinci lap hysterectomy, but he is a gyn oncologist, so he probably wouldn’t take anybody on that didn’t have cellular friskiness going on. I turned up hysterically crying at my doctors in December (about two weeks into a heavy period) and she gave me a months worth of this. Loved it 🙂 > [@Merneith](#): > > Every lady should talk to her doctor about using birth control to stop menstruation. There’s probably even better options now but I’m happy with the Depo since I know it works. It may not be the right choice for everyone, but it should certainly be a choice women should decide for themselves. I’m hoping I get there at some point. Quick history: August, ectopic pregnancy, once that bleeding stopped I went onto the mini-pill. Mini-pill, three weeks (at least?) period, I agreed to move back to the full-pill. Full-pill, two weeks into another heavy period, and counting, I cried on the doctor, got Nore-whatever, and recommended the coil. Two months into the coil, I’ve been having a really irritating mucousy bloody discharge for about a fortnight now, but I’m assured it should all settle down by four months in. Grrrr. At least I’m not weak from lack of blood this time, like I was on the various pills. > [@WhyNot](#): > > And the bleeding. Holy crimson tide, batman! Yes, yes, I know the average monthly menstrual flow. I’m the Queen of Period TMI on the Dope, after all. Yet all I can say is that I’m beating the monthly average before lunch at least three days a month. > > (snip) > > Finally, my grandmother died. She left behind a closet full of Depends. > > Oh, yes, I did. You’re my new hero, you know that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/26 "2013-02-11T11:29:36Z")
{{{B]Applebetty\*\*}}} I hope you get it done! When I was 13 I tried to give myself a hysterectomy. At least I was finally taken seriously, and I found a gynaecologist who would prescribe a pill that kept my hormones balanced all the time with no periods. Years later, the internet points me in the direction of PMDD, though not everything fits. I would be miserable, suicidal and typically unable to communicate from say 2 days before the start to about 4 days in, though I was never remotely regular. Sometimes, somehow, my hormones slip up. I don’t know why it happens. But I’ll suddenly get that familiar feeling. It starts with crying. Then I’m suicidal, and actual suicide is only prevented by the thought that that means actually _doing_ something. And then there is nothing, just darkness. But it’s rare now, and not as bad as it was. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/27 "2013-02-11T11:36:19Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I’ve got some very good women friends who suffer the agonies of hell: cramps, migraines, anemia, etc. My very sincere sympathies on your suffering. Let’s hope medical science figures out something to relieve the worst of this, at very least. And soon, dammit. The aforementioned endometrial ablation is apparently pretty damned awesome in this respect; that would have been the next option for me if the Mirena wasn’t suitable. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/28 "2013-02-11T11:38:59Z")
{{{ **applebetty** }}} I hope you get it done! When I was 13 I tried to give myself a hysterectomy. At least I was finally taken seriously, and I found a gynaecologist who would prescribe a pill that kept my hormones balanced all the time with no periods. Years later, the internet points me in the direction of PMDD, though not everything fits. I would be miserable, suicidal and typically unable to communicate from say 2 days before the start to about 4 days in, though I was never remotely regular. Sometimes, somehow, my hormones slip up. I don’t know why it happens. But I’ll suddenly get that familiar feeling. It starts with crying. Then I’m suicidal, and actual suicide is only prevented by the thought that that means actually _doing_ something. And then there is nothing, just darkness. But it’s rare now, and not as bad as it was. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/29 "2013-02-11T13:16:58Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I had an unwanted pregnacy when I was 12… 12? :eek::eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/30 "2013-02-11T13:18:34Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > When I was 13 I tried to give myself a hysterectomy. Okay, pardon the morbid curiosity, but HOW? And I’m sorry to hear of your troubles ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/31 "2013-02-11T13:29:40Z")
> [@Cheez\_Whia](#): > > Two words for you: endometrial ablation. It changed my life. Me, too! I had every complication possible with the ablation, but I would do it again. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Like\_Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@I\_Like\_Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Like_Pie)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/32 "2013-02-11T13:44:07Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > This bitch has given me nothing but trouble for thirty-eight **mother-fucking dick-sucking son-of-a pox-riddled billygoat fart stinking gut-wrenching spiked-bowling-ball-on-a-trampoline-in-my-pelvis, tedious, unrelenting, fucking-twist-me-sideways** aYEARS. ^Best. Ever. PMDD, endometriosis, ovarian cysts and migraines, plus two periods a month. If I wasn’t still on the fence about having another child I’d be having the whole system obliterated. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/33 "2013-02-11T14:46:54Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Okay, pardon the morbid curiosity, but HOW? > > And I’m sorry to hear of your troubles ☹ They way a depressed 13 y/o would: with a knife, in the bathroom. Hey, I’d seen pictures in biology! But luckily I didn’t get terribly far. It wasn’t as bad as it sounds, it was more the intent. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/34 "2013-02-11T15:02:16Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > You ladies have it easy. Sometimes when it’s hot, your dick sticks to your leg and you have to kind of peel it off before you urinate while standing up. You know what I’m talking about, fellas! Oh preach it brothah! I hate it when I sit down in a chair and mine gets stuck behind my knee. That little awkward " I’m not standing up in our meeting, I’m just raising my legs enough to remove my dick from behind my knee " half-stand. Hate that ! Seriously? When I first met my Ex, on our second date, she asked if we could find a bar. At 11:00 am. Hmmm. Okay, we roll with this and see where it goes. She laid down on the bench in the back room and whispered to me to order three shots of Glennfiddich and a cup of very hot water. Unnerved as I was, I complied. She drank it all. Her deeply painful cramps subsided as she became utterly intoxicated. She was literally falling down drunk as I helped her to the subway, down the steps, uptown, up the steps and to her apartment. Where she slept it off. She used to awaken me during the night with pained moans from the bathroom. That marriage sucked from one end to the other but I cannot but admit that I only felt sorry for her and wished there was something to do to help. ( Yeah, she did culposcopic exploration, removal of endometriosis, etc. Never helped. ) Ladies, you are remarkable. I know for a fact that as I move through my day I’m working/ shopping/ transporting with a percentage of women enduring their periods, and some of them are in serious pain. I’d never know it. Dunno how you do it. Respect you one and all for learning to manage. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/35 "2013-02-11T15:07:19Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > I am entirely fed up with my uterus. I am going to have that bitch yankedaASAP. Goddammitt I spent the whole of Thursday night tending to blood flow, changing underwear, changing sheets, changing the comforter, finding all the fucking bloodspots on the fucking floor before someone or somecat tracked it around. About 5am I finally got a few hours rest. I had to stuff all the linens in the washer, set to cold, before I went in to work late. > > This bitch has given me nothing but trouble for thirty-eight mother-fucking dick-sucking son-of-a pox-riddled billygoat fart stinking gut-wrenching spiked-bowling-ball-on-a-trampoline-in-my-pelvis, tedious, unrelenting, fucking-twist-me-sidewaysaYEARS. > > The only good thing was my daughter. And the sex was pretty good. > > To continue, I had TSS in the 70s. Every month when I thought I could make it through the day at school, by 3rd hour I was in the bathroom, trying to decide which orifice needed the porcelain next. Several times someone brought the school nurse because I was huddled in the corner in early shock. > > The 80s brought cycles of anovulation with periods of 2 days to 40 days. > > The 90s brought finding out I’m semi-bicornate, pregnancy with morning sickness the entire time, early rupture of membranes so I had to go to the closest podunk hospital (where my OB doctor was not on call, and all our plans for delivery went for naught) and be induced with massive doses of pitocin without any pain relief because of the Nazi doctor. Not to mention the episiotomy and my then-husband who told all my friends that I didn’t want visitors the entire week we were in the hospital. > > The oughts brought more regular periods but 7-8 days long every 24 days. > > The teens are bringing peri-menopause with irregular heavy times and I am sick to death of this crap. I have an appointment in two weeks and this bitch is gone if I have to get out my crochet hooks and call a tow truck. As a male, I am afraid I cannot relate, however I do want to point out that this is a classic style pitting worthy of standing alongside the highest echelons of Pit vitriol of history. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/36 "2013-02-11T15:08:31Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I had my uterus and ovaries taken out about a dozen years ago. Now, every time I go past the feminine hygiene aisle, I have to restrain myself from singing and dancing about how I don’t need that shit no more no more no more! > > Those organs can be more bother than they’re worth, unless you actually want to be churning out kids in the future. Once you have yours out, you will be able to do things like buy light colored pants. And buy pretty patterned panties, without worrying about whether or not they can withstand bleach. And you won’t have to carry a large pack of tampons and/or pads with you every day of the month, since you never know WHEN the uterus is going to erupt. It is a testament to how utterly fearless you are in my eyes that I thought that sentence up there read, " … unless you actually want to be churning out kids on the furniture. " :eek: 😃 My mother had hers removed decades ago. And her mother before her. And my ex-Sis in law. My dear first cousin had her uterus and one ovary removed last year. The Dr was quite firm in his desire to have one ovary left. His thinking was entirely hormone-therapy based. One ovary would help maintain a good balance of hormones. Cuz is 51, and is looking at a good few decades of hormone therapy. She chose to go with his opinion after seeking two others on the idea of leaving one ovary. Anyone who has gone down this road willing to share if they’ve left an ovary or not? ETA: What **Agent Foxtrot** said. I pray a tow truck will not be required. However, imagine how nifty it would be if your hysterectomy were to be covered by AAA ? ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/37 "2013-02-11T15:29:11Z")
Ok. I’m a guy with no knowledge of these issues but I gotta ask a serious question. You are employing a doctor and paying his/her salary and the doctor will decline to perform surgery that you request. WTF. You are the doctor’s employer. Seriously?? I would fire their ass and find a doctor that would do what I request. How dare they talk me out of doing something to my own body. Again, serious question, does this happen often?? Why would you put up with that treatment? Either do what I ask or you are fired. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/38 "2013-02-11T15:34:17Z")
Welcome to womanhood, **diggerwam**. You might want to have a baaaaaaaaybbbbeeee. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/39 "2013-02-11T15:44:18Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Welcome to womanhood, **diggerwam**. You might want to have a baaaaaaaaybbbbeeee. Yup. Because hysterical women are all into saying “OMG I’m a wimp and periods suck so I’m gonna whine about wanting that to go away, then I’ll want a baaaaaayybeee and sue that mean doctor for sterilizing me!” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/40 "2013-02-11T16:00:03Z")
Oh baby! I am right there with you! Sing it sister! I have been ranting in a very similar fashion for the last few weeks myself. As irritating as peri menopause is, it seems only to be exceeded by actual menopause. There would seem to be no symptoms whatsoever that isn’t, ‘normal for menopause’. Seriously not once did I search some baffling manifestation that I didn’t find it covered as ‘just menopause’. As for my uterus hate, it is inflamed because having suffered years of wicked endometriosis, and two laparoscopic surgeries, then suffering through the resulting early onset menopause, which the Dr assured me would end my problems. Then, 8 yrs post menopause I’ve not just spotted, but now have cramping just like accompanied my menstruation. And an occasional bout of stabbing pains. Son of a bitch! To hell with my uterus indeed! I’m right there with you, got my pitchfork and torch at the ready! (Been to PC physician, have had two ultrasounds, inconclusive, scheduled to see specialist at a MIG clinic later this week, for those worried I have failed to act on these symptoms.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935.md?page=3)