# To Hell With My Uterus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 11, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935 "2013-02-11T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/101 "2013-02-13T05:38:50Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > It did get tougher after Lorena Bobbit demonstrated the awful potential of a woman with a pair of scissors scorned. What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt? Are you going to eat that? ---
**Author:** ![Tollhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tollhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tollhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/102 "2013-02-13T07:21:16Z")
You all forgot one very handy trait of the uterus, …its apparently effective as a tracking device. That’s why when family members lose socks, keys, etc they always ask the woman where their stuff is…she then finds herself being pulled in said direction of items by her uterus tracker. Handy stuff that, but not enough to make up for all the bullshit some cause and some uterus es even join clubs to compete with each other and see who can be the most formidable uterus ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/103 "2013-02-13T08:55:01Z")
I think I must be Anaamika’s sister from another country! Same well-behaved uterus. Same no-problems getting Essure done. I used to think (when I was very young) that all the women who went on and on about their periods were just whingers who needed to suck it up. Now I know better, and feel bad for silently judging. I lucked out big time in that department, and I wish you all had such trouble-free reproductive bits as I do ☹ Other than saying ‘hi’ to my virtual sister, I also came in here to offer chocolate, naprogesic and hugs. I feel for you ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/104 "2013-02-13T09:53:28Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/HGGVhEo.jpg) ](https://i.imgur.com/HGGVhEo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/105 "2013-02-13T13:30:45Z")
> [@Tollhouse](#): > > You all forgot one very handy trait of the uterus, …its apparently effective as a tracking device. That’s why when family members lose socks, keys, etc they always ask the woman where their stuff is…she then finds herself being pulled in said direction of items by her uterus tracker. Handy stuff that, but not enough to make up for all the bullshit some cause and some uterus es even join clubs to compete with each other and see who can be the most formidable uterus Eh, I can still find things even without a uterus. I don’t even have ovaries any more, so that’s not the tracking device, either. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/106 "2013-02-13T13:41:37Z")
Maybe your tracking device [Falls off and regenerates periodically?](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678) 😃 ( runs away quickly ) ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/107 "2013-02-13T13:55:53Z")
Yes it was a cruel day when I figured out the having, in my youth, suffered longish yet otherwise uneventful periods, did not mean that it could and would change over time. Most women I know experienced more agonies and cramps, way heavier flow, and longer often irregular periods the closer to peri menopause they got. Suddenly a lifetime of good relations with one’s uterus, (and being a tad judgmental regarding those who take to their beds and whinge about the horrors every month), can all change so suddenly just with the passage of time! If your’re thinking it can’t happen to you, or you’re not on that path - don’t be so sure! Your uterus is not above completely betraying you, even after you’ve been nothing but sweet to it for decades! Disloyal Bastards! ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/108 "2013-02-13T14:42:12Z")
Yeah, when I was a teenager I was a judgmental bitch about that, too. I figured girls who complained about cramps were just the fragile-little-flower type who probably squealed if they saw a spider. But when I was about fifteen I was on a school trip, and one girl couldn’t go on some excursion because she had such bad cramps she couldn’t get out of bed - and I stuck my head into her room to say I hoped she felt better soon. She was clearly in fucking _agony_. She was Middle Eastern and fairly dark-skinned, but that day she was whitish-green and her eyes could hardly focus. She barely managed to say something or other back to me. Her whole body had that twisted-tension look that comes from being in the kind of pain that means you can’t even think. And her best friend told me that she got that way for a full day or two every month. I have never dismissed anyone’s period cramps since. Here’s what mystifies me: if a fifteen-year-old is bright enough to work out, from a thirty-second look at one sufferer, that truly hideous period pain does in fact exist…how come all these doctors, who have presumably seen dozens of sufferers over years, just can’t wrap their heads around the concept? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/109 "2013-02-13T14:49:02Z")
> [@Essured](#): > > I think I must be Anaamika’s sister from another country! Same well-behaved uterus. Same no-problems getting Essure done. > I used to think (when I was very young) that all the women who went on and on about their periods were just whingers who needed to suck it up. Now I know better, and feel bad for silently judging. I lucked out big time in that department, and I wish you all had such trouble-free reproductive bits as I do ☹ > > Other than saying ‘hi’ to my virtual sister, I also came in here to offer chocolate, naprogesic and hugs. I feel for you ☹ Hugs, sister! My real mom, while a jerk and kind of useless in many ways, did do this one thing for me. She also NEVER had any problems with her period, could run it by clockwork, etc. So if nothing else, I am very grateful to her for those things! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/110 "2013-02-13T15:10:44Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > … Here’s what mystifies me: if a fifteen-year-old is bright enough to work out, from a thirty-second look at one sufferer, that truly hideous period pain does in fact exist…how come all these doctors, who have presumably seen dozens of sufferers over years, just can’t wrap their heads around the concept? The stock answer: don’t worry your pretty little head about that. Because if you do, you’ll imagine all kinds of aches and pains that just aren’t there! ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/111 "2013-02-13T15:24:02Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > I am I have an appointment in two weeks and this bitch is gone if I have to get out my crochet hooks and call a tow truck. I do believe you have won the internet with this, ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![Skypist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skypist/32/169_2.png) [@Skypist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skypist)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/112 "2013-02-13T18:28:15Z")
I had my uterus yanked for much the same reasons as the OP 10 years ago and haven’t regretted it. I was in my early 30s and since I’d tried more conservative measures first, I didn’t have any problem getting my GYN to agree to the procedure. I think he really saw that my periods were just NOT going to get better any other way. I kept my ovaries and haven’t had any problems so far in 10 years. I don’t think I’ve hit menopause yet so the ovaries are probably still producing hormones. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/113 "2013-02-13T21:11:29Z")
My uterus finally decided to settle down to some kind of schedule these past two years and my periods were off the charts all over the fucking place. Intelligent design, my colorless ass. I’m semi grateful that I can much more reasonably predict when my periods will happen, but I don’t understand why some months have to be so much harder than others. This month was fucked, so I don’t yet know if this means I can expect April to be godawful or if March will suck more. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/114 "2013-02-13T22:04:20Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > Yeah, when I was a teenager I was a judgmental bitch about that, too. I figured girls who complained about cramps were just the fragile-little-flower type who probably squealed if they saw a spider. But when I was about fifteen I was on a school trip, and one girl couldn’t go on some excursion because she had such bad cramps she couldn’t get out of bed - and I stuck my head into her room to say I hoped she felt better soon. She was clearly in fucking _agony_. She was Middle Eastern and fairly dark-skinned, but that day she was whitish-green and her eyes could hardly focus. She barely managed to say something or other back to me. Her whole body had that twisted-tension look that comes from being in the kind of pain that means you can’t even think. And her best friend told me that she got that way for a full day or two every month. I have never dismissed anyone’s period cramps since. > > Here’s what mystifies me: if a fifteen-year-old is bright enough to work out, from a thirty-second look at one sufferer, that truly hideous period pain does in fact exist…how come all these doctors, who have presumably seen dozens of sufferers over years, just can’t wrap their heads around the concept? Doctors were told that most women were literally hysterical, and exaggerated their pain, and that if they just accepted their role in life, that the pain wouldn’t be nearly as bad, or at least they’d worry about other things. There’s a heaping pile of religious thinking in this, too…women are SUPPOSED to suffer, on account of Eve. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/115 "2013-02-13T22:41:20Z")
I’m joining the rant after a day of bathroom trips every half-hour (because that’s how long it takes to soak through two tampons and two pads, for Og’s sake!) After a little shopping trip with my mother-in-law, I had a horrifying moment of looking at the seat of her brand new car, and praying that nothing untoward would happen to her white and beige upholstery during our 10 minute ride home. I’m looking at a stack of the baby’s outgrown diapers right now, wondering whether they could be fashioned into a better fluid-catcher than the ultra-stupid-overnight-longs I’m using right now! Oh, and a little message to the manufacturers of feminine hygiene products: Nothing makes me happier than when the flippity-flapping WINGS on your pads neatly channel blood away from my old stained period panties, right onto the crotch of my outerwear! :smack: Have a happy period my ass. Exclamation point. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/116 "2013-02-13T23:08:31Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Oh, and a little message to the manufacturers of feminine hygiene products: Nothing makes me happier than when the flippity-flapping WINGS on your pads neatly channel blood away from my old stained period panties, right onto the crotch of my outerwear! RIGHT? I have what I think is an impregnable (heh) fortress of Always and it always (heh) ends up in that one little uncovered area. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/117 "2013-02-14T00:58:21Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Oh, and a little message to the manufacturers of feminine hygiene products: Nothing makes me happier than when the flippity-flapping WINGS on your pads neatly channel blood away from my old stained period panties, right onto the crotch of my outerwear! :smack: Have a happy period my ass. Exclamation point. I’d like a word with the motherfucker who thought that it would be a great idea to make tampon strings out of a material with outstanding wicking properties. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve removed a tampon to find that it was virtually unstained, while its string was completely saturated. > [@anya\_marie](#): > > I’m semi grateful that I can much more reasonably predict when my periods will happen, but I don’t understand why some months have to be so much harder than others. This month was fucked, so I don’t yet know if this means I can expect April to be godawful or if March will suck more. I have that problem too! Some months I’m virtually symptom-free, with cramps so mild that they’re knocked out with Tylenol. Other months, I have a couple of days of horrible cramps that are preceded by gagging/nausea, an upset stomach, and a general ‘swimmy’ feeling in my head. Often, right when my period is about to stop for the month, these symptoms repeat (though the cramps are absent). ---
**Author:** ![Honesty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Honesty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honesty)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/118 "2013-02-14T01:36:21Z")
> [@applebetty](#): > > I am entirely fed up with my uterus. I am going to have that bitch yankedaASAP. Goddammitt I spent the whole of Thursday night tending to blood flow, changing underwear, changing sheets, changing the comforter, finding all the fucking bloodspots on the fucking floor before someone or somecat tracked it around. About 5am I finally got a few hours rest. I had to stuff all the linens in the washer, set to cold, before I went in to work late. > > This bitch has given me nothing but trouble for thirty-eight mother-fucking dick-sucking son-of-a pox-riddled billygoat fart stinking gut-wrenching spiked-bowling-ball-on-a-trampoline-in-my-pelvis, tedious, unrelenting, fucking-twist-me-sidewaysaYEARS. > > The only good thing was my daughter. And the sex was pretty good. > > To continue, I had TSS in the 70s. Every month when I thought I could make it through the day at school, by 3rd hour I was in the bathroom, trying to decide which orifice needed the porcelain next. Several times someone brought the school nurse because I was huddled in the corner in early shock. > > The 80s brought cycles of anovulation with periods of 2 days to 40 days. > > The 90s brought finding out I’m semi-bicornate, pregnancy with morning sickness the entire time, early rupture of membranes so I had to go to the closest podunk hospital (where my OB doctor was not on call, and all our plans for delivery went for naught) and be induced with massive doses of pitocin without any pain relief because of the Nazi doctor. Not to mention the episiotomy and my then-husband who told all my friends that I didn’t want visitors the entire week we were in the hospital. > > The oughts brought more regular periods but 7-8 days long every 24 days. > > The teens are bringing peri-menopause with irregular heavy times and I am sick to death of this crap. I have an appointment in two weeks and this bitch is gone if I have to get out my crochet hooks and call a tow truck. I’m not a doctor, but have you considered oral birth control or an injectable like depo provera? It won’t help with your uterus but at least it’ll staunch the flow of blood. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/119 "2013-02-14T01:56:20Z")
I don’t know what’s more amusing to me… The fact that the above post was made by someone with the name “Honesty” or the fact that said poster couldn’t possibly have read the thread before posting…that. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/120 "2013-02-14T08:30:45Z")
Happy period? The dumb fuck who wrote that idiotic tripe had better never come near ME. That makes me want to kick some ass. I’ve NEVER had a “happy period.” I have had the following: An eat everything in sight period An oh fuck my body wants me dead period A massive headache period An I don’t like anything in this house, but i don’t want to leave the house period. An oh shit my whole body hurts period A let’s give her 6 huge zits period [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935.md?page=7)