# To Hell With My Uterus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 11, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935 "2013-02-11T02:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/121 "2013-02-14T15:43:31Z")
[Obligatory link to the Happy Period complaint letter/rant by Wendi Aarons](http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-open-letter-to-mr-james-thatcher-brand-manager-procter-amp-gamble). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/122 "2013-02-14T16:05:21Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > I’d like a word with the motherfucker who thought that it would be a great idea to make tampon strings out of a material with outstanding wicking properties. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve removed a tampon to find that it was virtually unstained, while its string was completely saturated. Yes! Who had that idiotic idea? That’s a nasty feeling, grabbing the string and finding it soaked. I’ve learned something reading this thread. The last couple months along with the normal PMS crap I’ve been ravenously hungry. Like turn me loose in the all-you-can-eat buffet and I’ll close the place down hungry. And not just chocolate, I want to eat everything. For some reason I never put it together that it was my hormones doing that to me until I read that some other ladies get that way too. Must be another delightful side effect of getting older. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/123 "2013-02-14T16:08:23Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Yes! Who had that idiotic idea? That’s a nasty feeling, grabbing the string and finding it soaked. And THEN, to be really fucking TMI, I have to then pull up my pants, zip them up, probably button and them and close a goddamn catch, all with one hand, because the sink is still outside the stall! AAAAAAAARGH! At home I’ll just not bother to button up until I have washed, but I have never figured out the best way at work. I really don’t need my coworkers to come in and see me with my pants still open, trying to wash my hands. The problems of women, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/124 "2013-02-14T16:17:49Z")
There are flushable baby wipes that can be very useful for cleaning up in the stall. If you can’t find them in small portable packets, then you can put some in a ziplock bag. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/125 "2013-02-14T17:04:20Z")
Uterine biopsy on Valentines Day? I now hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, you traitorous wretch! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/126 "2013-02-14T18:04:09Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > There are flushable baby wipes that can be very useful for cleaning up in the stall. If you can’t find them in small portable packets, then you can put some in a ziplock bag. I get Tucks, or the generic equivalent. The 40-pad case is a convenient size for my purse, and since it’s a screw-on lid, the pads don’t dry out. ---
**Author:** ![Clarisse\_McClellan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Clarisse\_McClellan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clarisse_McClellan)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/127 "2013-02-14T22:32:28Z")
My uterus was fairly compliant (one day of moderate cramps, cant complain) until about five years ago when it decided to become BFFs with my bladder. Lazy ass couldnt be arsed to carry it’s own weight and my poor bladder cant handle the extra load and is starting to complain loudly. The slightest motion - cough, laugh, sneeze, clear my throat, stand completely still - and, surprise!, the floodgates open. Fucking uterus is forcing me to consider Depends at age 49. My mother is 88 and just started needing them! What the hell. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/128 "2013-02-14T23:27:05Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Oh, and a little message to the manufacturers of feminine hygiene products: Nothing makes me happier than when the flippity-flapping WINGS on your pads neatly channel blood away from my old stained period panties, right onto the crotch of my outerwear! :smack: Have a happy period my ass. Exclamation point. Goddamn if this didn’t just happen to me today. Fortunately it’s just an old pair of jeans. And fuck you period, anyway, for being at your heaviest on fucking Valentine’s Day. Oh, right, it’s a non-fucking Valentine’s Day now, isn’t it? Hardy har har. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/129 "2013-02-15T00:00:35Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Goddamn if this didn’t just happen to me today. Fortunately it’s just an old pair of jeans. > > And fuck you period, anyway, for being at your heaviest on fucking Valentine’s Day. Oh, right, it’s a non-fucking Valentine’s Day now, isn’t it? Hardy har har. At least you match the V-Day color scheme. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/130 "2013-02-15T03:44:40Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Doctors were told that most women were literally hysterical, and exaggerated their pain, and that if they just accepted their role in life, that the pain wouldn’t be nearly as bad, or at least they’d worry about other things. There’s a heaping pile of religious thinking in this, too…women are SUPPOSED to suffer, on account of Eve. Yeah, but nowadays a lot of those doctors are _women_! The last time I got my pap, the doctor mumbled “I really don’t know why you (patients) always make such a fuss about this…” “Well, I imagine you’ve had it done. Would you voluntarily have it done on your tongue?” “😕 What? No!” “Exactly. You wouldn’t, because you’re not a masochist and it’s not medically necessary. Well, only because it’s medically necessary to have it done in my vagina doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt! It means I’ll have it done, but not that I’ll _enjoy_ having it done.” “:smack: Right… damn, sorry.” Maybe she can reeee-lax when someone is about to sample her vagina. Me, I can’t. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/131 "2013-02-16T16:23:22Z")
> [@diggerwam](#): > > If my wife was suffering like this month in and month out and we researched and wanted the surgery and the doctor said no, hell we are both going in and kicking 100% of his ass. How dare he say no. Again, he’s my employee. And you’re his client and he will tell you to find another doctor. Welcome to our collective indignation. Doctors will not perform any kind of sterilization procedure on women under 35,40. I mercifully went into early menopause, but then I’ll be damned if I didn’t start having postmenopausal bleeding. Oh, holy hell, just drop an anvil on me, please. Once I accept the gray hair, shouldn’t I be done with cramps? One other to consider about hysterectomy is that the conventional recovery time is six weeks. Some laser surgeries have a much smaller recovery time, but in general, no working for a month. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/132 "2013-02-16T20:58:55Z")
When I went to get my Mirena, I fully expected to have a fight with the gyno. That didn’t happen; she was actually very happy to let me have what I wanted after a brief run-through of all the available BC options. I think that was because a) I went to Planned Parenthood and b) I have [ITP](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiopathic_thrombocytopenic_purpura)(in remission) which makes me bleed a lot anyway and makes it very dangerous for me to catch the baby virus. Sometimes those pre-existing conditions will work in your favor. I wouldn’t recommend mine, though. Too many IVs. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/133 "2013-02-17T02:56:42Z")
I knew I found the right gyno when he said “let’s see what we can do to make you stop bleeding.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/134 "2013-02-17T13:19:45Z")
" I mercifully went into early menopause, but then I’ll be damned if I didn’t start having postmenopausal bleeding. Oh, holy hell,…" This is exactly where I am at right now. Would you mind sharing what the outcome was? What did they do about it, if anything? Everyone seems quite grim while testing, and I keep getting sent to yet another Dr, not a bad thing I’m assuming. They all seem confused by these symptoms, which is even more baffling to me, as you can imagine. I’m wondering now where it will all end up? Hysterectomy? I could live with that, but how that helps a badly scarred cervix, I’m not sure. Don’t get me wrong I’m very compliant, more tests more Dr’s- no worries. I’m wondering where this is all heading though. When I inquire I get a lot of, “We’ll, let’s wait and see, not get ahead of ourselves!”, and I understand but am growing more curious what the possible outcomes are here. Again, only if you don’t mind sharing. Or PM if that’s better, maybe? Thank you anyway, knowing it’s not just me, is reassuring. My friends are all, “Wow! I’ve never heard of such a thing!” ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/135 "2013-02-17T18:09:09Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Having a uterus removed is a major procedure and there are some good long-term reasons not to do it; there aren’t many doctors who will simply do that on request just cuz you want it. Most won’t have a problem with it if the uterus is diseased and less invasive options aren’t appropriate. Good luck applebetty, I hope you get a good solution to your lifelong issues! > > But don’t get me started on the difficulties of young women trying to get a tubal ligation, though. There’s where the “but you might change your mind and want a baaaaaabeeeee someday” crap gets pulled. You never hear about men getting refused a vasectomy for Pete’s sake. I have a friend who was refused a vasectomy he wanted to get because his wife would likely die if she got pregnant, because he might want to have children with someone else at some point. They have to use multiple other forms of birth control or get her tubes tied, which is a more dangerous and expensive operation. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/136 "2013-02-17T18:16:07Z")
Time to get a new Dr. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/137 "2013-02-17T18:18:11Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Time to get a new Dr. They couldn’t find one who would do it. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/138 "2013-02-17T18:54:56Z")
To the OP, Lovely rant! I had my uterus and ovaries removed twenty years ago (huge fibroid and endometriosis) and have been happy to be free of the monthly suicidal ideation and ridiculously heavy flows ever since. The hot flashes I got in exchange suck, but not nearly as much. If you get to keep an ovary maybe you can avoid those for a while. I hope you don’t have any trouble getting your doctor to go along with your plan. ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2018, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-hell-with-my-uterus/649935/140 "2018-09-21T17:32:49Z")
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