# To journalists: There is no Loch Ness Monster **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 12, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838 "2006-12-12T17:23:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/1 "2006-12-12T17:23:35Z")
Too minor for the pit, but here’s the ridiculous headline: [Loch Ness Monster-Like Creature’s Bones Found](http://www.thebostonchannel.com/technology/10510482/detail.html): > [@](#): > > The bones of an ancient creature that would’ve looked like the Loch Ness Monster have turned up on an island in the Antarctic. Hey moronic journalist - There is no Loch Ness monster. It doesn’t exist. The pictures are a [hoax](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loch_ness_monster#The_.27Surgeon.27s_Photo.27). Yes, people have theorized it’s a plesiosaur, and the skeleton found in the Antarctic is that of a plesiosaur, but that’s no reason to make that the lead sentence and headline of your article! Please stop trying to mix interesting science with legends and hoaxes. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/2 "2006-12-12T22:41:09Z")
Hey, just because those pictures are a hoax doesn’t mean there’s no Nessie. Haven’t you seen the [recent documentary](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2QGTaq13ds)? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/3 "2006-12-12T22:46:22Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Hey, just because those pictures are a hoax doesn’t mean there’s no Nessie. Haven’t you seen the [recent documentary](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2QGTaq13ds)? [/QUOTE] This one is the definitive one, IMO. [http://www.incidentatlochness.com/](http://www.incidentatlochness.com/) ---
**Author:** ![According\_to\_Pliny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/4 "2006-12-13T01:19:32Z")
It’s a fun tourist attraction. I went to Loch Ness and my daughter became a real fan of Nessy. I put little Nessy doodles in the margins of my notes to her. ---
**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/5 "2006-12-13T01:41:02Z")
[QUOTE=According to Pliny] It’s a fun tourist attraction. I went to Loch Ness and my daughter became a real fan of Nessy. I put little Nessy doodles in the margins of my notes to her. [/QUOTE] And that’s great. People can have fun going to tarot card readers, the local Ghost Tour or the various Gravity Spot tourist attractions. Still doesn’t mean that a legitimate newspaper writing a science story should compare a real scientific discovery to paranormal nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/6 "2006-12-13T01:43:41Z")
Oh, wait. The link is to a local TV “news” program. Does anyone still count that as journalism? ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/7 "2006-12-13T03:04:53Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Hey, just because those pictures are a hoax doesn’t mean there’s no Nessie. Haven’t you seen the [recent documentary](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2QGTaq13ds)? [/QUOTE] Attention Scottish Dopers: Is that [Castle Urquhart](http://www.aboutscotland.co.uk/ness/urquhart.html) in the background? I was there in October. Really neat. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/8 "2006-12-13T03:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=postcards] Attention Scottish Dopers: Is that [Castle Urquhart](http://www.aboutscotland.co.uk/ness/urquhart.html) in the background? I was there in October. Really neat. [/QUOTE] IANA Scottish Doper, but that seems like it could be Urquhart. I was there too, last summer. AND I SAW NESSIE. Well, I saw something. Me: OHHHHHH look I see something!! It’s a head!! Something’s moving!! Friend1: OMG it’s Nessie. How cool is that? Friend2: That’s not Nessie. It’s a fucking otter. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/9 "2006-12-13T03:36:38Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] IANA Scottish Doper, but that seems like it could be Urquhart. I was there too, last summer. AND I SAW NESSIE. Well, I saw something. Me: OHHHHHH look I see something!! It’s a head!! Something’s moving!! Friend1: OMG it’s Nessie. How cool is that? Friend2: That’s not Nessie. It’s a fucking otter. [/QUOTE] Seeing otters fucking is pretty cool. It’s not as cool as Nessie, but it’s still pretty cool. Seriously though, everyone knows that Nessie’s not there-he’s working as a door greeter at Mr. Burns’s casino. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/10 "2006-12-13T05:13:49Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] There is no Loch Ness monster. It doesn’t exist. [/QUOTE] If Nessie doesn’t exist, then what’s been in my pool for the last month? ---
**Author:** ![42Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/6bbea6/32.png) [@42Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42Geek)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/11 "2006-12-13T05:22:38Z")
oh lord…i went to a christian camp as a teen. they claimed that the existance of the loch ness monster and all those other monsters disproved evolution (macro evolution, not micro) ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/12 "2006-12-13T05:43:15Z")
Well, there may have been better comparisons to make, but one can’t deny that “Loch Ness Monster” brings up a stronger and more immediate mental image comparison than using, say, diplodocus (or whatever that dinosaur that Nessie is supposed to resemble is). ---
**Author:** ![hey\_alright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/90ced4/32.png) [@hey\_alright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hey_alright)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/13 "2006-12-13T05:58:26Z")
Loch Ness Monster = fake Sasquatch = real ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/14 "2006-12-13T06:18:36Z")
And what about the sauropod that lives in africa? That one is real, right? 😃 [http://www.mokelembembe.com/](http://www.mokelembembe.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/15 "2006-12-13T06:19:00Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] IANA Scottish Doper, but that seems like it could be Urquhart. I was there too, last summer. AND I SAW NESSIE. Well, I saw something. Me: OHHHHHH look I see something!! It’s a head!! Something’s moving!! Friend1: OMG it’s Nessie. How cool is that? Friend2: That’s not Nessie. It’s a fucking otter. [/QUOTE] COOL! I’ve seen some otters in California, but I’ve never seen them have sex. _runs_ ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/16 "2006-12-13T06:22:03Z")
[QUOTE=hey alright] Loch Ness Monster = fake Sasquatch = real [/QUOTE] In a pig’s eye: [thread=395683]A silly poll about Bigfoot[/thread] Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/17 "2006-12-13T06:52:24Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] Please stop trying to mix interesting science with legends and hoaxes. [/QUOTE] Amen. It’s also very annoying to those of us who are seriously interested in legends. The day that the Loch Ness monster became a plesiosaur,\* a little bit of humanity died. \*Before the famous hoaxed photo in the 1920s (?), the few authentic legendary accounts of Loch Ness lake monsters are rather short on detail, but it’s pretty clear than nobody in Scotland was thinking “enormous long-necked aquatic reptile.” ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/18 "2006-12-13T10:16:27Z")
There is a family of them in a pond about half an hour’s drive south of Manitouwadge, Ontario, Canada. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/19 "2006-12-13T10:26:35Z")
[QUOTE=Muffin] There is a family of them in a pond about half an hour’s drive south of Manitouwadge, Ontario, Canada. [/QUOTE] Nessies or otters? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838/20 "2006-12-13T12:09:32Z")
A colleague of mine went on a scientific expedition to explore Loch Ness when he was a student. They didn’t find anything, but he thought there must be something there because of all the sightings. Here are those sightings, which include descriptions of Nessie in water as - log like - neck like a horse with a mane - salamander-like - horrible great beastie - long tapering tail, eel-like head - Impression of 2 flippers - overall 18 to 24ft long - pole-like object - single object 10ft by 3 ft - long body - black object - large object with long tail > **[Legend of Nessie - Ultimate and Official Loch Ness Monster Site - The Evidence](http://www.nessie.co.uk/sight.html)** > > The Legend of Nessie the Ultimate and Official Loch Ness Monster Site, with up-to-date information and photographs of new and past sightings. A must for all Nessie enthusiasts. and on land - small head turning side to side on long neck - compared to a camel but smaller, long neck, humped-back and fairly long legs - small head like a camel, long neck, humped-back and 4 limbs - four legs, thick like an elephants, with large webbed feet - length 6-8ft long, thick body, long neck, greyish colour - short, thick, clumsy legs with a kind of hoof very like a pigs but much larger - shaped like a hippopotamus, large round head, short thick legs, dark colouration - head like an eel with large eyes - giraffe like neck > **[Legend of Nessie - Ultimate and Official Loch Ness Monster Site - The Evidence](http://www.nessie.co.uk/sight2.html)** > > The Legend of Nessie the Ultimate and Official Loch Ness Monster Site, with up-to-date information and photographs of new and past sightings. A must for all Nessie enthusiasts. Now eye-witnesses can be mistaken. Let’s go to the film evidence: - As of the whereabouts of this film, no one knows. A still from the film was exhibited but this was no conclusive proof of the monsters existence and it could not be confirmed that the location was in fact Loch Ness. - Others agreed that it resembled an otter or a whale. The film is now missing but stills were published of some water disturbances and a mysterious object. - The film is now said to be hidden somewhere in a London bank vault. Also, with instructions stating that the film could not be shown ‘until such time as the public takes such matters seriously’. - Again the film that Irvine exposed has been lost - It was agreed by the experts that the film clearly showed an ordinary inanimate object floating in the Loch. - The films whereabouts is not certain but it is said to be also locked away safely in a London bank vault. [http://www.nessie.co.uk/nessie/cine1.html](http://www.nessie.co.uk/nessie/cine1.html) I think that settles it. Oh, and here’s a quote from Donna Black of VisitScotland: “Although legends like the monster from Loch Ness and the ghosts of Edinburgh’s underground may be embellished for the benefit of visitors, there’s nothing fake about them. It’s a shame if people see that stuff as just for the tourists, because it’s something that’s part of our culture and should be handed down.” Urquhart Castle on the banks of Loch Ness is Scotland’s sixth most-popular visitor attraction. Although the Nessie legend is not used to promote the castle, it can’t help but play a part. Black says: “Whether people come because they have an interest in the history of the castle or because they want to buy a cuddly Nessie toy, people get really into these things. If that brings people in and they want to spend money and create jobs, we shouldn’t criticise.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-journalists-there-is-no-loch-ness-monster/383838.md?page=2)