# To mentally challenged, crazy and/or deranged men. No, I won't be your girlfriend. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140 "2004-08-10T02:29:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/41 "2004-08-10T18:28:50Z")
> [@Emperor Penguin](#): > > I know how you feel, and I’m a guy. I’m six four, 320 pounds, and I have a goatee, and yet, despite my best efforts, I look about as threatening as a lamb wrapped in cotten balls, painted a soft fuzzy pink. Or so I would assume from the folks who strike up conversations with me. OK, now I’m imagining a 6-4 320 lb emperor penguin with a goatee. Painted pink with cotton balls stuck to it. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/42 "2004-08-10T18:36:07Z")
The car incident reminded me of my own personal incidents. Lost in Troy, NY, a place where you really can’t be \*lost \* but I managed it anyway. I pull up to a stop sign and look, there’s an East Indian guy walking across the street. Looks vaguely like my Uncle. So I roll down the window and ask for directions. He smiles at me, and says “Are you married? You look like a nice Indian girl!” "My witty response was “Huh?” and he continues “I’m looking for a wife!” I just pulled a :eek: and put my foot on the gas. I nearly ran his feet over. Then there was the time I went to the gas station and there was a very nice Arabic man there, who’d I’d seen for a couple of years. I used to chat with him in Hindi (he spoke Urdu). Well today it was just me and him, and he asked me if I wanted to make a fast $1000. Not thinking anything, after all I’d known him two years, I said “What do you mean?” He wanted me to marry his cousin back home so the guy could get a green card. I was sixteen and looked it. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/43 "2004-08-10T19:18:12Z")
I have the opposite of the ladies in this thread. If I knew what it was I radiate, I could bottle it and be rich. My best friend and I are both attractive young women. But whenever we’re out together, and I return from buying a drink, invariably some creep will have cornered her. But all it takes is me walking up to them to make such guys disappear like mist on a summers day. And I’m looking _neutral_. A boyfriend of mine once told me: "Maastricht, honey, your posture says: “try something, and I’ll crush you like a bug”. According to him, it was something about me not picking up the inviting glances any more then the agressive ones. Both, he says, I meet with a sort of neutral, unafraid look, a look that says: “You’d better strike up an interesting conversation, otherwise don’t even bother.” I do get asked a lot for directions and help, though. Usually by women. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/44 "2004-08-10T19:50:41Z")
Yeah, this happens to guys, too. Me, anyway. I’m always being approached by 18-year-old blonde cheerleaders. Sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. And they think they are oh so clever in raising their skirts (Hello? Ever heard of underwear?) and saying “Hey mister, want some?” Yeah, very clever. As if. I think that they’re just turned on by the FRPG books. Typical. I usually just hit them with pepper spray. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/45 "2004-08-10T20:04:13Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > As amusing as this is, I’m not sure it would be legit coming from a woman in $700 shoes. I’m just sayin’… Well, there’s your problem. They’re not after your person; they’re after those divine shoes! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/46 "2004-08-10T20:04:57Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yeah, this happens to guys, too. Me, anyway. > > I’m always being approached by 18-year-old blonde cheerleaders. Sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. And they think they are oh so clever in raising their skirts (Hello? Ever heard of underwear?) and saying “Hey mister, want some?” Yeah, very clever. As if. > > I think that they’re just turned on by the FRPG books. Typical. > > I usually just hit them with pepper spray. I hate you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/47 "2004-08-10T20:08:37Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I hate you. Well, at least I’m having the right effect on _someone_. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/48 "2004-08-11T18:00:55Z")
Man, that (the OP’s lament) used to happen to me allll the time. I think it’s because I have red hair which makes me noticable so retarded/messed up guys fixate on it. When I worked retail, I used to have guys stalk me at the store. One kinda slow guy I worked with had made up this whole long creepy story about asking my father (at the time I was 16 or 17) for permission to date me and our dating history. That guy was later fired for taking a swing at the manager. :eek: Another guy would come into the bookstore everyday and position himself so he could stare at me for hours. My coworkers pointed him out (I was clueless) and when I confronted him, he stopped. When I started going to the University of Texas, I recognized him as an asssistant professor of physics… I’m really kinda of average looking (except for the hair) so I could never figure out the attraction. Unfortunately, that kind of attention when I was younger resulted in me adopting a cold, stand-offish look whenever I’m alone in public (I can actually feel my face stiffening up, it’s weird) which I think is kinda sad… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/49 "2004-08-11T19:03:39Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > Actually, I’ve never had a problem on busses. _Other_ places on the other hand . . . ! :rolleyes: > > I’m not sure if this guy was deranged. All I know was I was bicycling through Waikiki about 7:00 am after running an errand for a client (long story omitted) when a fellow asked me if I’d be willing to do something when I stopped to buy a newspaper. When I declined, he said, “I can satisfy you!” as I got on my bicycle and pedalled away. Half a block later, I came up with the perfect reply. I should have assumed my best British accent and said, “Sir, you do not have the _capacity_ to satisfy me!” No, I didn’t turn around and deliver it. > CJ Eh, you’re probably better off. He might have tried to show you otherwise. :eek: My friends and I were once piled into the back of my mom’s car after dropping my cousin off at her house. (We were about thirteen-fourteen). Some guy ran up to our car at a red light and dropped a piece of paper with phone numbers into my friend’s lap. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/50 "2004-08-11T19:22:54Z")
I only ever get hit on in parking lots, for some reason. I had a guy flag me down in the grocery store parking lot, lean as far in as he could, put his hand on and sort of in my partially open car window inches from my face and neck, and proceed to argue with me when I declined to go out with him. When I told him I was engaged, he pointed out that I wasn’t wearing a ring and announced that either it wasn’t that serious a relationship or my man wasn’t taking care of me the way I deserved. I told him that I was indeed engaged and that I never wore jewelry to work. Big mistake. Huge. Then he started asking where I worked, and when I wouldn’t give him a detailed answer about that, he started asking where I _lived_. Then he accused me of being a racist because I wouldn’t date him or tell him where I lived and worked. By that point he was really starting to scare me, what with the refusal to take no for an answer and the pressing for personal details. Since I lived right across the street and didn’t want to risk him seeing me pull in and go up to my apartment, I drove around in circles for a while before going home. Then I told me neighbors and coworkers that if any guy but **Dr.J** came to them and asked about me, I didn’t live/work there. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/51 "2004-08-11T19:27:12Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yeah, this happens to guys, too. Me, anyway. > > I’m always being approached by 18-year-old blonde cheerleaders. Sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. And they think they are oh so clever in raising their skirts (Hello? Ever heard of underwear?) and saying “Hey mister, want some?” Yeah, very clever. As if. > > I think that they’re just turned on by the FRPG books. Typical. > > I usually just hit them with pepper spray. Can I hang out with you? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/52 "2004-08-11T20:26:48Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Can I hang out with you? No, no, it’s much too perilous! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/53 "2004-08-11T20:32:15Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > Man, that (the OP’s lament) used to happen to me allll the time. I think it’s because I have red hair which makes me noticable so retarded/messed up guys fixate on it. Huh. I have red hair too. Interesting theory. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/54 "2004-08-11T23:09:15Z")
“Yes, I have a man. Chained up in my basement.” ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/55 "2004-08-11T23:27:26Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Huh. I have red hair too. Interesting theory. It 's the only thing I coudl think of to explain my “freak magnet” power. I’m really not especially nice yet I seem to get way more attention than my more sedately colored friends… ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/56 "2004-08-12T08:26:30Z")
> [@Elenia28](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by **jellyblue** > > Nothing beats the guy who reached up under my (shortish) skirt and pressed an ice cold can of soda against my butt. Oh. My. God. I’ve forever regretted that I was so utterly shocked into silence. There have been so many times that I’ve replayed that scene in my poor traumatized head, except that I sink a barbecue fork in his forehead or something. > > Holy fuck! (checks to make sure this is this Pit) Someone actually did this to you? I think I would have jumped out of my skin. I think I might backhand first, feel aghast at myself later. I’ve been known to reflexively smack my kids for stuff like this, just in primal self-defense. You know, kid does something sudden and painful and the reflexive reaction is WHOP. ---
**Author:** ![Anarchangel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/97f17d/32.png) [@Anarchangel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anarchangel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/57 "2004-08-13T08:28:27Z")
I have been a lurker here for a long time, but when I read this thread, I just had to post. I also have been a freak magnet for as long as I can remember. So this discounts your red hair theory because I have dark, brown hair. Men who are definitely a little “off” seem to feel free to come up and put their hand on my face, tell me that there is a spider on my back and offer to brush if off, but then caress my calf instead, tell me they’ve been following me for awhile and want to be with me forever, but then freak out when I tell them that I am married, and many, many other disturbing scenarios. And it doesn’t only happen when I’m alone. I can be standing in a group of people and they will come directly to me. So if anyone ever figures out what causes this, please tell me so I can change! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/58 "2004-08-13T13:25:41Z")
Well, honestly I think my vote goes to “Pretty in a totally non-threatening sort of way.” ---
**Author:** ![Anarchangel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/97f17d/32.png) [@Anarchangel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anarchangel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/59 "2004-08-13T15:53:34Z")
I like that theory. I think we should go with it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140/60 "2004-08-13T15:59:20Z")
> [@Chotii](#): > > I think I might backhand first, feel aghast at myself later. I’ve been known to reflexively smack my kids for stuff like this, just in primal self-defense. You know, kid does something sudden and painful and the reflexive reaction is WHOP. If I had had my wits about me enough to smack him, there’d be no “feeling aghast at myself later”. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mentally-challenged-crazy-and-or-deranged-men-no-i-wont-be-your-girlfriend/259140.md?page=4)