# To Mods: Guidelines for having a thread closed if you are the OP **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471 "2003-01-28T14:16:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/241 "2003-02-01T07:26:51Z")
Well, I made believe the devil made me do it I was the evil leader of the pack You best believe I had it all and then I blew it Feedin’ that fuckin’ monkey on my back Aeromsith ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/242 "2003-02-01T14:28:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\*\ > The monkey, who had witnessed all this, was convulsed with laughter at the sight of an ant schtupping an elephant. He’s rolling around in his tree, laughing away, when his elbow hits a coconut and knocks it loose. It falls directly onto the elephant’s head. > > The elephant says, “Ouch!” > > And the ant says, “That’s right – take it all, bitch!” \*\* When I heard this joke, the punchline was, “Am I hurting you, dear?” Sigh. I guess those were the days that inter-species-animal-sex jokes were kinder, gentler inter-species-animal-sex jokes. Kind of sad, really. Look at all of these people in here. What fortitude. Bourgeois tragedy (or is it non-conformest tragedy?) abounds, and everyone’s still making jokes to beat the banned. My apoligies if that joke’s been beaten to death in previous posts and I just never noticed it… ---
**Author:** ![Aceospades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Aceospades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aceospades)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/243 "2003-02-01T15:09:53Z")
i want a Monkey ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/244 "2003-02-01T16:12:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*now you’re just being silly. > > Of _course_ I was referring to monkeys that do not pay in cash. > > Perhaps I should have spelled it in a non-conformist matter: > cheques. > :rolleyes: > 😃 \*\* Hey, us Canadians spell it “cheques”. Are you saying that Canadians are non-conformists? It’s all so clear now - Suspenderzzz is a Canadian! {wanders out of thread singing “Blame Canada!” with her beady eyes glowing and head just a’flappin} ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/245 "2003-02-01T16:41:55Z")
I refuse to claim Suspenderzzz as Canadian. Absolutely refuse. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/246 "2003-02-01T17:04:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*now you’re just being silly. > > Of _course_ I was referring to monkeys that do not pay in cash. > \*\* Power supply: $10 Delivery charge: $15 A machine that flings your poo for you: priceless ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/247 "2003-02-01T17:07:45Z")
There is no possible way Canada could have spawned Suspenderzzz. Non-conformitsts up here freeze to death for refusing to wear coats. No, I’m thinking she must have been from…elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/248 "2003-02-01T17:09:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _pout_ I’ve never been banned. I’m tired of being one of the sheeple! [Folds hands w/interlaced fingers] Here is the church Here is the steeple, Open the doors, And here are the **sheeple**! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/249 "2003-02-01T20:04:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > \*\*Power supply: $10 > Delivery charge: $15 > A machine that flings your poo for you: priceless \*\* call me old fashioned, but I like flinging the old way: by hand. it shows you _care_. ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/250 "2003-02-01T22:26:10Z")
She was just a mean ol’ turd burglar anyway. **returns to cave** ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/251 "2003-02-01T22:45:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*or the Texas branch: Simian Anti-defimation League. \*\* Do they have a branch in Tampa? Oh, wait, that would be a Simeon ADL. There’s no way he’d need one. EVAR [http://www.monkeyheaven.com/](http://www.monkeyheaven.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/252 "2003-02-02T03:52:20Z")
A moose thread and no-one’s mentioned [Maynard Moose](http://willyclaflin.com/ordering/maynmoosetales.htm) yet??? Obviously none of you know about words we don’t use any more, like “Hink,” and “Humble Grink de Gridey-O.” Stupid Jack! Hink? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/253 "2003-02-02T05:30:27Z")
Do monkeys believe in evolution? Or in God? How many moose would be needed to rebuild the pyramids out of cotton candy? Do New World Moose have prehensile tails and live in trees? If monkeys ruled the world, would they have made a movie called _Planet of the Humans_ ? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/254 "2003-02-02T15:29:51Z")
[Heston-monkey]A planet where men evolved from apes?[/Heston-monkey] Although, I suppose the ‘monkey’ appellation is redundant… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/255 "2003-02-02T18:28:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*A moose thread and no-one’s mentioned [Maynard Moose](http://willyclaflin.com/ordering/maynmoosetales.htm) yet??? \*\* Nor has anyone mentioned Bullwinkle Moose or Charles Moose. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/256 "2003-02-02T19:18:04Z")
Cental Pest Control? I’m not sure youe delivered the right traps. Well, they seem a little…large. ``` That's the standard size? ``` What about the bait? What is that grey thing with the blue top? A flying squirrel? Wouldn’ peanut butter or cheese work better? ``` Ah! I see the problem now! There was a typo. I ordered a *mouse* trap. ``` ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/257 "2003-02-02T23:47:00Z")
**moose** : 1,370,000 **bunny** : 1,940,000 **monkey** : 3,710,000 ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/258 "2003-02-03T03:32:57Z")
\<\< A moose thread and no-one’s mentioned Maynard Moose yet??? \>\> \<\< Nor has anyone mentioned Bullwinkle Moose or Charles Moose. \>\> Nor chocolate moose, nor hair moose. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/259 "2003-02-03T04:43:12Z")
Deja Vu! “Haven’t we met before?” ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471/260 "2003-02-03T17:06:47Z")
Attention **jarbabyj** and other collectors of moosorabilia: You’re going to want this. [http://www.poopmoose.com](http://www.poopmoose.com) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-mods-guidelines-for-having-a-thread-closed-if-you-are-the-op/151471.md?page=14)