# To my brain: What kind of sorry excuse for a dream is that? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2005, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582 "2005-07-08T13:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/1 "2005-07-08T13:19:23Z")
A fucking Levitra commercial?!? **A LEVITRA COMMERCIAL?!?!?!** You have got to be kidding me, you putrid, insipid waste of grey matter. Although, I have to give it to you, you had it down, man. The white, heterosexual couple cuddling; the soft, warm lighting; the slow camera pan; even the voiceover about “when the moment’s right,” blah blah blah. A carbon fucking copy of that tripe on TV. Boy, when you fuck up, you sure do it right. What the hell?!? Two nights ago I got an epic involving ninjas, alien invasion, genocide against the Chinese (by the aliens), zombies, court intrigue, cannibals, and an evangelical Christian cult. Last night I got goddamn Levitra commercial. Pond scum has better dreams than that, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert! Actually, little perversion would’ve been a vast improvement. I didn’t even get to see any cock! And boy howdy, if _I’m_ gonna dream about a fucking hard-on drug, by Og, I better see some goddamn cock. Pull another one like that, I’m gonna outsource all dreaming to the pussy. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/2 "2005-07-08T13:32:59Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > And boy howdy, if _I’m_ gonna dream about a fucking hard-on drug, by Og, I better see some goddamn cock. Hee hee hee! Feeling a bit cheated today I take it? > [@The Weird One](#): > > Pull another one like that, I’m gonna outsource all dreaming to the pussy. :mad: Heh, I don’t know, I think you’d be even more bored by dreams of milk, catnip, and mice in your jaws… What? _runs for cover_😃 Now that the levity has been taken care of, I do sympathize, it does suck to wake up feeling shortchanged. Did you dose off in front of the television, wake up and go to bed maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/3 "2005-07-08T13:43:43Z")
Your subconscious was just taking some time off after that massive epic. Or maybe it needed to pay the bills. I’m sure it’ll be back on the job shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/4 "2005-07-08T13:47:54Z")
Heh. This thread reminded me that this morning I dreamed that somebody asked me which Dutch word has the most "j"s in it. Awake or asleep, I have no idea what the answer is to that. Hmmm, but maybe somebody over in General Questions does… ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/5 "2005-07-08T14:02:56Z")
Must have been a crappy night for dreams. I had a pseudo rerun of Happy Days where Richie is in Love with teh same Girl as the Fonz and doesn’t realize that Fonzie is dating the girl. Throughout the dream my mind kept interjecting “Boy that Henry Winkler is an underated actor.” WTF?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/6 "2005-07-08T14:09:33Z")
It was an off night, no doubt. Perhaps there was a convention somewhere all of our subconsciousnesses (huh?) were attending. I spent part of my night walking through a cornfield with corn over my head. Periodically, a voice would yell “incoming!” and a random shower of those little cob holders would come flying down. Then I’d keep walking, totally unaffected. Then I woke up and peed. ---
**Author:** ![Selenus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Selenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selenus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/7 "2005-07-08T16:28:22Z")
Hey does anyone dreams of flying? At some point, I regularly had dreams where I could fly. The sensation was far too vivid. And I flew over places that I was familiar with. They looked in the dream exactly as they did in real life. It felt so fucking normal to be flying that the worst thing in the world was waking up, jumping off the bed and landing SPLAT on my face. :rolleyes: Actually, when I’d wake up I’d honestly try to do what I wasn doing to get myself to fly, thinking that I could definitely do it again, because it was that real. On second thought I think I’ll stick with the falling flat on face story. ---
**Author:** ![Selenus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Selenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selenus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/8 "2005-07-08T16:30:52Z")
Does anyone dreams of flying? Does anyone dreams of flying??? WHAT? :smack: Did anyone during their younger years get recurring dreams of being able to fly. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/9 "2005-07-08T16:34:22Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > Pull another one like that, I’m gonna outsource all dreaming to the pussy. :mad: Yay! Pussy! Yum! Erm, I mean, sucks about the whole dream thing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/10 "2005-07-08T16:34:56Z")
I’ve dreamed of flying my whole life. I LOVE those dreams. When I wake up, I’m always like, “What? Gravity? This sucks.” The Levitra dreamed just showed a total lack of imagination and effort on the part of my subconcious. Lazy bastard. I mean, it didn’t even get to the disclaimers. "Erections lasting more than four hours . . . " I’m sure it could’ve done _some_thing interesting with that, but it didn’t even bother trying. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/11 "2005-07-08T16:38:55Z")
The epic dream was brought to you by Levitra. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/12 "2005-07-08T16:56:55Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > It was an off night, no doubt. Damn, you guys too? I had big red and black centipedes scurrying out from under the baseboards all night. And my cat (I don’t have a cat) was making a halfhearted attempt at eating a huge Jerusalem cricket. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/13 "2005-07-08T17:03:04Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > The epic dream was brought to you by Levitra. Exactly! If you want to see the epic without any commercials, you’ll have to wait until it comes out on DVD, or get a BrainVo. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/14 "2005-07-08T17:16:58Z")
Well, _you_ picked **The Weird One** for your user name. Your subconscious is just running with it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/15 "2005-07-08T17:19:44Z")
See, I had the dream where I was stuck back in the college paper newsroom, trying to paste up articles for the issue going out the next day. The paragraphs kept trying to crawl off the page, the sticky wax wasn’t working well, the computer that held all the articles was on the fritz, and reporters kept coming in and _taking_ stories away, instead of giving them to me. Stressed, you ask? Why, yes, you might be on to something there. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/16 "2005-07-08T17:52:10Z")
A few days ago, I had a dream where I was standing in the unfinished, framed-out basement of my current house (newsflash, brain…we don’t have a basement!), and I was siezed by unreasoning terror at the sight of a box of industrial staples lying on the concrete foundation. C’mon, brain…if I get terror, can you at least work on the plausiblity aspect? ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/17 "2005-07-08T18:09:18Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > I spent part of my night walking through a cornfield with corn over my head. Periodically, a voice would yell “incoming!” and a random shower of those little cob holders would come flying down. Then I’d keep walking, totally unaffected. **Then I woke up and peed.** (bolding mine) Bummer about not getting out of bed and _making it_\* to\* the bathroom first. :: D&R :: I think I’m LARP deprived. I had a weird dream about being at a convention but my game was canceled. I wandered back to the Con Suite but it was empty because everyone was off at their games. Then someone said they needed more players for a superhero LARP. So I raided my costume/props bag and created a Side Kick for Hire charector. I woke up just as the game was to begin… Too bad as I’m wondering how it would have turned out. All the other players were trying to outdo each other with their awesomeness, and I was the only ‘supporting charector’ type, so everyone wanted to hire me! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/18 "2005-07-08T18:48:58Z")
A number of years ago, I had a fairly ordinary dream but it was preceded by a commercial for the Bank of Montreal. I felt like sending them an email to say that if they were going to take out commercial space in my subconscious, I was going to charge them for it. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/19 "2005-07-08T19:03:04Z")
You know what this all means don’t you? The bastards finaly did it. They came up with a way to inject comercials into our heads. Nowhere is safe now. We are gonna need that Brainvo more than ever. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582/20 "2005-07-08T19:05:59Z")
Hey, how does one sign up for commercials? I mean, I’d **like** some nice, _safe_ commericals. Instead this morning’s dream was about trying to get ready for a trip. Packing everything we’d need for the trip, including a good die and tap set, since I was some kind of apprentice machinist in the dream. Of course there was the problems with the hyena pack in the forest nearby - so we couldn’t go to the train station to catch the train while they were nearby. And while I could make most any kind of pump or other simple machinery, I couldn’t make a gun. They were against the rules, apparantly. Then, finally we all got to the train station. And grandpa told us it was all a hoax, and our hands ate us, and we died. I’d rather have the commercial, thank you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-brain-what-kind-of-sorry-excuse-for-a-dream-is-that/311582.md?page=2)