# To my coworker... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929 "2001-11-07T02:45:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/1 "2001-11-07T02:45:25Z")
To quote the song by **Babes in Toyland** called Bruise Violet… “You fucking bitch, I hope your insides rot.” Why, you ask, do I direct my ire in such a fashion? Simple, the bitch keeps badmouthing me and making up fun stories. Want to hear the latest about **hardygrrl**? Head over to cube 225a. Here some of the highlights. Her quotes are in italics. _All hardy does is goof off. She nevers works_. While I’ll admit to my share of slackery, I also took over 1800 calls last month, without working any overtime. That was the second best in my department, the best at my site, and 500+ better than her. _hardy gets to do all those projects becuase she’s a brownnoser_ OK, are you even AWAKE during the team meetings? Just in today’s I called our supervisor “the mayor of suckville” to his face. See, people sometimes respect you when you don’t actively try to clinb up their ass. For all the times you’ve attempted that climb, I’m surprised you don’t own a set of safety ropes. And I get all the projects because I get them done, before deadline, and right the FIRST time. I had to fix the one you had attempted and my kitten, if she could type, could have done a much better job. And then there’s the PERSONAL shit. _hardy photocopied her boobs and gave the pictures to Joe_ Ok, first off, Joe and I did date, so he’s seen them already. Second, the photocopier a) needs a code and b) is right outside the department mamager’s office. Here’s the scene… ::hardy goes to copier and enters access code:: Hi, Linda, How are you? ::lifts shirt and undoes bra:: I’ll have the report on that fraud ring in your inbox before I leave ::presses breasts to glass and hits copy:: And did you want a pie chart or a line graph on those figures? ::rehooks bra, tucks shirt back in and takes copy:: _hardy dresses like a slut_ The day she said this, I was wearing a black twinset, jeans and my usual chunky heels. The wardrobe of every aspiring crack whore. Damn Marshall Fields for selling it to me and making me look like a slut, DAMN THEM. Even though the only body parts exposed were my wrists, hands and head, I was flaunting my body. Sure. and the one that I WILL get her fired for… _hardy had sex in the file room_ Ok, first off I **can’t** get into the file room. You have to have an access code. The person I supposedly boned in there doesn’t have the code either. Second, I have to account for my every minute at work. Whenever we log off the phone, we HAVE to input it into our timecard. There were no entries for “sex with coworker” on mine last time I checked. Third, I may complain about my job, but I do like it. Therefore I want to keep it and fucking on company time, on company property is not the way to do so. So fuck you, you bitter, repressed, uptight bitch. I couldn’t give less of a shit if you like me or not, but keep it to yourself. I’m sorry that I got promoted WAY faster then you, but since my stats are far better than yours, feel free to suck them and suck them hard. I have reported you to management, along with a list of people who told this shit to. Seems not everyone buys into your shit. And trust me, I know when it all goes down, who management wants to keep more, so start packing your shit now. You are a worthless, rat rimming, used tampon chewing, toilet bowl licking pile of dried splooge. If you spent more time working and less time making up shit, maybe you could do something right for once, but I doubt it. Have a nice day and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/2 "2001-11-07T02:58:56Z")
Damn. How old is this whiner? ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/3 "2001-11-07T03:15:24Z")
Wow … that chick sounds nasty. Does she have a problem with everybody or just you? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/4 "2001-11-07T03:42:37Z")
She’s 37 and just hates me. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/5 "2001-11-07T14:07:50Z")
You should watch out for that “Sex at work” statement. That could get you fired, or at least seriously affect your standing in the company, both with those you like and with those who can promote/transfer you. I’m not sure how, but you should nip that one in the bud before it comes up to bite you in the ass. Also, if you have any photocopies of your ass, I’d me more than… SMACK!!! “Owwwwww!! Whaaaat?” ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/6 "2001-11-07T14:08:58Z")
I’d be more than willing to exchange that “me” in the last sentence for a “be.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/7 "2001-11-07T14:27:46Z")
Reason #69 on the List of Why I Love **hardygrrl**. ---
**Author:** ![LiquidLobotomy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LiquidLobotomy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiquidLobotomy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/8 "2001-11-07T14:40:54Z")
Wasn’t the glass on the photocopier cold? Just kidding… but if you do happen to have any pics I’d love to see 'em. Seriously though, I hate coworkers who have nothing better to do than badmouth someone (anyone actually.) It is so easy to be nice and the reward is much greater than the momentary gratification a rant gives. Don’t worry, she’ll get her’s soon enough. People like that always end up shooting their big fat mouths off to the wrong person. I just hope for your sake that no one believes the crap she’s spewing. ---
**Author:** ![blur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@blur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blur)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/9 "2001-11-07T14:50:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Abe Babe \* > \*\*You should watch out for that “Sex at work” statement. That could get you fired, or at least seriously affect your standing in the company, both with those you like and with those who can promote/transfer you. I’m not sure how, but you should nip that one in the bud before it comes up to bite you in the ass. > > \*\* Better yet, this could get the bitch in trouble, that could easily be seen as sexual harassment. If you want to make _her_ life hell, tell your boss, tell HR, tell them if they do nothing about it, they are just as responsible as her. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/10 "2001-11-07T14:53:00Z")
So, would you like me to write “Bite me, Bitch” on the Steel chair before I throw it up for you to Vandaminate it into her face? ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/11 "2001-11-07T18:39:22Z")
Thank you, **TwistofFate**. That was one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever seen in my entire life. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/12 "2001-11-07T19:06:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Just in today’s I called our supervisor “the mayor of suckville” to his face. This is a fine example of how to conduct yourself in a ‘team meeting’. I think I’ll add that to my written review form: ```auto Employee has referred to direct supervisor as Mayor of Suckville Affirmative Employee was too wussy Supervisor is actually mayor of neighboring ‘Dorktown’ ``` BTW, in the future, _scan_ your boobs in. That way they are in full color and ready to email. I’ll expect to be copied. ---
**Author:** ![LiquidLobotomy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LiquidLobotomy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiquidLobotomy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/13 "2001-11-07T19:57:17Z")
When boobs are scanned in don’t they lose resolution? I’ve always found that a black and white copier produces better results than a scanner. On the other side of that coin, if the said boobs were scanned in then you are right in saying that Hardygrrl could very easily send all of us a copy. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/14 "2001-11-07T20:10:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > **Second, I have to account for my every minute at work. Whenever we log off the phone, we HAVE to input it into our timecard. There were no entries for “sex with coworker” on mine last time I checked.** I believe it’s a [7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid Me in an Illicit Activity](http://www.teleweb.net/georgeeiben/Bossstories/TimeSheetCodes.htm) Just trying to help. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/15 "2001-11-07T20:15:58Z")
Why yes, we would like a pie chart on that figure… ::d&r:: 🙂 Hey Demise, somebody’s serving pie. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/16 "2001-11-08T01:07:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*So, would you like me to write “Bite me, Bitch” on the Steel chair before I throw it up for you to Vandaminate it into her face? \*\* Twisty, my pet, you know me too well. Would you be a sweetie and climb up on my cube wall and give her the Swanton Bomb after I give her the VanDamintor? Seriously… I spent about an hour and a half in a meeting with my direct supervisor, the department manager and a HR representative. The result so far is she is suspended without pay while HR investigates. At the least, she’ll have to accept a transfer to another department to stay with the company. If I’m lucky, they’ll fire her. Today I had a hockey game (BTW, we won our first playoff game, whoo hoo) and everytime I took someone to the boards, I pretended it was her. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/17 "2001-11-08T04:57:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Why A Duck \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > > **Second, I have to account for my every minute at work. Whenever we log off the phone, we HAVE to input it into our timecard. There were no entries for “sex with coworker” on mine last time I checked.** > > I believe it’s a [7931 - Asking Coworker to Aid Me in an Illicit Activity](http://www.teleweb.net/georgeeiben/Bossstories/TimeSheetCodes.htm) > > Just trying to help. \*\* Hm, I was thinking it was more of a 6200 - Using Company Resources for Personal Profit ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/18 "2001-11-08T13:28:08Z")
> [@](#): > > so far is she is suspended without pay while HR investigates. At the least, she’ll have to accept a transfer to another department to stay with the company. If I’m lucky, they’ll fire her. _Note to self: desist gossiping about **hardy** immediately_. Seriously, good work. As much as I hate to see a person loose their job, it certainly seems she deserves it. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/19 "2001-11-08T15:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > Seriously… I spent about an hour and a half in a meeting with my direct supervisor, the department manager and a HR representative. The result so far is she is suspended without pay while HR investigates. At the least, she’ll have to accept a transfer to another department to stay with the company. If I’m lucky, they’ll fire her._\* Sweet! Glad to hear this rant had a happy ending! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-my-coworker/91929/20 "2001-11-09T01:02:32Z")
Reasons why you should **NEVER** piss off a hockey player. Especially one who also watches wrestling. 🙂