# To Serve Man - A Modest Proposal **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 8, 2024, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549 "2024-10-08T02:42:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/21 "2024-10-08T13:08:32Z")
Seems like an advanced race of aliens would be able to clone and farm their own humans. Maybe they prefer free range humans? Perhaps all the consumed PFAS and microplastics give Earth humans a certain “je ne sais quoi” that the aliens can’t reproduce on their home planet. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/22 "2024-10-08T13:26:41Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Seems like an advanced race of aliens would be able to clone and farm their own humans. The ethical dilemma makes it taste better! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/23 "2024-10-08T13:45:01Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Seems like an advanced race of aliens would be able to clone and farm their own humans. See my post earlier about the Larry Niven story. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/24 "2024-10-08T14:08:14Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > We’ve got plenty of stock to offer. > > > [@](#): > > > > As of July 1, 2024, there were 2,213 death row inmates in the United States, [including 49 women](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_women_on_death_row_in_the_United_States).[[1]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_death_row_inmates_in_the_United_States#cite_note-Death_Row_U.S.A._Summer_2024-1) Lucky for us, we have a Supreme Court that wouldn’t see anything cruel or _unusual_ about feeding prisoners to space aliens. ---
**Author:** ![We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/We_re_wolves_not_werewolves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/25 "2024-10-08T14:18:40Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > And, since they already have our DNA from surreptitiously obtained skin samples and the like, we may as well sign, because otherwise they’ll simply create bootleg copies of our body parts. Thus opening them up to lawsuits from humans for theft of trade secrets…we’d clean them out! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/26 "2024-10-08T14:40:25Z")
> [@We\_re\_wolves\_not\_werewolves](#): > > Thus opening them up to lawsuits from humans for theft of trade secrets…we’d clean them out! Well, unless they got fed up with our annoying legal shenanigans and decided to get fed up a different way… ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/27 "2024-10-08T14:53:58Z")
No one has ever said if they kill us humans first, or feed live, piece by bloody piece, with the screaming and the **HOYVIN-GLAVIN!** It’s an important point. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/28 "2024-10-08T15:11:17Z")
For those of you asking for details about what the Kanamits want, that’s up to you to try to negotiate with them. Keep in mind they may or may not be acting in good faith. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/29 "2024-10-08T15:18:48Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Besides being morally abhorrent, there are so many other ways this could go severely sideways. For example; knowing humans, those in power would pick dissidents and other people they consider enemies. It could easily become a tool of terror. Welcome to how most of the prisoners of Guantanamo got there. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/30 "2024-10-08T16:26:11Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > they may or may not be acting in good faith. Or good taste. Whether or not we taste good. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/31 "2024-10-08T16:42:58Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Whether or not we taste good. …or are less filling! ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/32 "2024-10-08T16:55:24Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > No one has ever said if they kill us humans first, or feed live, piece by bloody piece, with the screaming and the **HOYVIN-GLAVIN!** If their science is sufficiently advanced, and depraved, they could just harvest bits off live humans, and then re-grow them. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/33 "2024-10-08T16:57:16Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > they could just harvest bits off live humans, and then re-grow them. Without anesthetic. Oh my. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/34 "2024-10-08T16:59:37Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Without anesthetic. Oh, come on now, sure, they’re flesh-eating alien monsters who are blackmailing us into a morally and ethically corrupt bargain, but they’re not barbarians! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/35 "2024-10-08T17:07:52Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > they’re not barbarians! They drink human blood from dainty little cups with their little alien pinkie sticking out. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/36 "2024-10-08T19:10:10Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > What say you? Do you take the Kanamit deal? No. Derrick Bell [wrote](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Space_Traders) about exactly how this would go down in practice. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/37 "2024-10-08T19:20:30Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > > [@ParallelLines](#): > > > > they weren’t comfortable brining up kids in THIS world either. > > Well, sure: pickled children are a delicacy on Kanamitsworld. Point to you good gentlebeing! -slinks off to plot some horrible, food-based revenge!- ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/38 "2024-10-08T20:15:23Z")
Whatever it is, serve it cold. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2024, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/39 "2024-10-08T20:23:59Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > > [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > > > This is basically the plot of _Joe vs. the Volcano_. > > And _The Lottery_. And the season of _Angel_ with Jasmine. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2024, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549/40 "2024-10-11T14:48:41Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Derrick Bell [wrote](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Space_Traders) about exactly how this would go down in practice. Heh. I thought it was going to go another way, there. I recall a story, can’t find it now, where the aliens offered a similar deal, except that what they wanted to do was have humanity prove it was “disciplined” enough to deserve the technology, by making all the fat people lose weight and conform to an idealized body type. Turns out, it was a test to see if we’d act morally enough to refuse to accept such a biased deal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-serve-man-a-modest-proposal/1008549.md?page=3)