# To the cow-irker who just yelled at me **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2016, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573 "2016-12-13T01:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/21 "2016-12-15T19:46:23Z")
> [@Crazy\_Canuck](#): > > No, he does NOT need to put aside whatever he’s doing because someone who is not his direct manager wants to go on a power trip, no matter their place on the food chain. You are taking this too personally. If you can’t handle an co-worker pushing back without getting “absolutely fucking furious” to the point of tears, you are in the wrong job. I’m guessing you’ve never been assigned to train anyone on the same rung as you. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/22 "2016-12-15T20:09:13Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > I’m guessing you’ve never been assigned to train anyone on the same rung as you. That would be incorrect, as I actually have been assigned to do exactly that. I spent six years at an accounting office in the early 2000’s, doing bookkeeper level prep-work for the real accountants. (I still shudder when I see a shoebox full of receipts.) During my last two years there, I trained all the new hires for my position. Got anything other than the ad hominem? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/23 "2016-12-15T20:27:17Z")
Actually, he does. 1) His work doesn’t have anything time-sensitive that would be injured by waiting a few minutes 2) If he did, which is rare, the way to indicate that is to say something like “Can you come back in an hour? I have to have this done by noon.” not by refusing to do the training at all 3) He doesn’t report to me, but he is still expected to cooperate with the training initiative, which I am the representative of in this office. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/24 "2016-12-15T21:03:34Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Actually, he does. 1) His work doesn’t have anything time-sensitive that would be injured by waiting a few minutes 2) If he did, which is rare, the way to indicate that is to say something like “Can you come back in an hour? I have to have this done by noon.” not by refusing to do the training at all 3) He doesn’t report to me, but he is still expected to cooperate with the training initiative, which I am the representative of in this office. Your point 1 about the work he does is irrelevant. Unless he is your report, you don’t have the authority to demand. You can ask, inquire, request, query, entreat, implore, solicit, or plead, but **you can’t demand.** Do you see the difference? There is a reason I used the phrase “power trip,” when describing your behavior. FWIW, I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and I’m sure if I had to train this tool I’d be irritated too. Sadly, the workplace is full of irritating tools. Grrr! gave good advice upthread about using email to document your issues, I’d follow that. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/25 "2016-12-15T21:12:49Z")
Right, but I didn’t demand (not sure where you got that impression?). I asked for 10 minutes of his time, and he refused in an incredibly rude way. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/26 "2016-12-15T21:29:06Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Right, but I didn’t demand (not sure where you got that impression?) Here. > [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > If I say “I need to talk with you”, you need to put aside whatever piddly-ass thing you’re working on and fucking give me 10 minutes of your precious fucking time to go over what I’m supposed to go over Upon a closer reading of the OP though, it does appear like you did ask nicely, (probably too nicely) and he was just a jerk. I take back the power trip accusation, and join you in calling him a fuckfaced shitstain of a human being. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573/27 "2016-12-15T23:06:25Z")
It goes without saying that their response was unacceptable, but I would have scheduled a time to meet and not just gone over and asked them to meet right then. That does seem like you are saying you are more important than what he is working on at the time. Schedule the however-many followups at the same time you schedule the training and at least they can plan for it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-cow-irker-who-just-yelled-at-me/774573.md?page=1)