# To the creepy bastard who had nothing better to do than scare me shitless tonight.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 5, 2007, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804 "2007-06-05T06:41:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/61 "2007-06-05T15:54:53Z")
[QUOTE=WOOKINPANUB] I don’t even know how to respond to that. What, exactly, are you trying to say? [/QUOTE] I’m saying it’s not worth worrying about. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/62 "2007-06-05T16:00:33Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] Matt\_mcl, absolutely rape as part of a pattern of domestic abuse is a very serious issue. But so far as I can tell most rape isn’t that. [/QUOTE] And as I said, it’s not up to you to inform a rape survivor as to whether or not what they suffered is serious, important “real” rape or not. > [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > a woman hanging out in a deserted laundromat at midnight is akin to an engraved invitation. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is Protecting yourself is all very well but this type of language makes me itch. There’s no such thing as an invitation to rape. It’s a contradiction in terms. We spend much too much time discussing what women ought to do to prevent themselves from being raped, and nowhere near enough time placing the responsibility where it in fact lies: on rapists. At last report, men were sentient creatures who could choose whether or not they were to rape someone. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/63 "2007-06-05T16:00:59Z")
Aw, come on… he was thoughtful enough to insert a “there’s no excuse for that behavior” in there to soften the sneer quotes, the alcohol justification, the implication that women are obligated to “give it up” anyway, the suggestion that date rape can be remedied by a breakup, the downplaying of the “personal violation” of the act, the claim that most women would agree with his position, and the assertion that jail isn’t appropriate punishment for a rapist… what more do you bleedinghearts want? I hope you’re just a troll, **Cryptoderk** , because if you’re serious, you’re a despicable piece of shit. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/64 "2007-06-05T16:02:02Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] I’m saying it’s not worth worrying about. [/QUOTE] Whaaaa. . .huh? Do you mean the chance that something bad will happen is not worth worrying about, or I shouldn’t try to understand what you’re saying? You certainly do put the “Crypto” in \*\* Crytoderk \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/65 "2007-06-05T16:03:29Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] And as I said, it’s not up to you to inform a rape survivor as to whether or not what they suffered is serious, important “real” rape or not. [/QUOTE] I’d like to differentiate between how serious a crime is to a particular victim, which I would never presume to do, and between deciding how serious different classes of crime are in general, which I think I am entitled to have an opinion on. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/66 "2007-06-05T16:05:09Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Aw, come on… he was thoughtful enough to insert a “there’s no excuse for that behavior” in there to soften the sneer quotes, the alcohol justification, the implication that women are obligated to “give it up” anyway, the suggestion that date rape can be remedied by a breakup, the downplaying of the “personal violation” of the act, the claim that most women would agree with his position, and the assertion that jail isn’t appropriate punishment for a rapist… what more do you bleedinghearts want? I hope you’re just a troll, **Cryptoderk** , because if you’re serious, you’re a despicable piece of shit. [/QUOTE] What on earth are you on about? I haven’t done any of those things. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/67 "2007-06-05T16:05:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by BubbaDog > You Brits really need a little bit of common sense. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by villa > That’s a little unfair. And with an intentional broad-brush in response to what **Cryptoderk** said in his first post - > [@](#): > > You Americans really do scare easily. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/68 "2007-06-05T16:06:43Z")
[QUOTE=WOOKINPANUB] Whaaaa. . .huh? Do you mean the chance that something bad will happen is not worth worrying about, or I shouldn’t try to understand what you’re saying? You certainly do put the “Crypto” in \*\* Crytoderk \*\*. [/QUOTE] For all but the most risk-averse person, the chance is not worth worrying about. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/69 "2007-06-05T16:09:05Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] What on earth are you on about? I haven’t done any of those things. [/QUOTE] You know what, I was going to do a point-by-point listing of where in fact you did, but you’re not worth the time. Any interested party can just review your post #31. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/70 "2007-06-05T16:09:15Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] What on earth are you on about? I haven’t done any of those things. [/QUOTE] Ah. Well, you might want to log off your account when you’re done using that shared computer, because someone using your name did, in post #31 of this very thread. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/71 "2007-06-05T16:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] I’d like to differentiate between how serious a crime is to a particular victim, which I would never presume to do, and between deciding how serious different classes of crime are in general, which I think I am entitled to have an opinion on. [/QUOTE] Rape is serious because of its effects on the rape survivor. If you’re distinguishing between some rapes that are serious and others that are less so, you’re arrogating to yourself the privilege to inform rape survivors how their rape should have affected them. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/72 "2007-06-05T16:27:44Z")
[QUOTE=Engineer Dude] But…but…Robert DeNiro did it in Cape Fear. Travelled several miles that way. [/QUOTE] Don’t worry, he’s been rehabilitated. Now if Jack Nicholson comes at you with a golf club, run! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/73 "2007-06-05T16:31:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger] Next time do your laundry when other people are around! Take a bit more responsibility for your own safety! That’s a lesson I learned in a much harder way than the OP, so please take this as woman-to-woman advice, not criticism. [/QUOTE] That’s good advice for anyone. Men too. I mean, a person has a right to walk around in South Central Los Angeles with hundred dollar bills pinned to his shirt, but damn. Use some friggin’ common sense. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/74 "2007-06-05T16:32:16Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] I’m saying it’s not worth worrying about. [/QUOTE] I’ll bet you don’t own life insurance, either. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/75 "2007-06-05T16:36:47Z")
**Cryptoderk** , exactly what constututes an “unreasonable” refusal of sex? I wasn’t aware that such a thing could possibly exist. Is it your belief that a person actually needs to give you a satisfactory “reason” for telling you no? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/76 "2007-06-05T17:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] Some people take a while to get a hint! [/QUOTE] You do indeed. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/77 "2007-06-05T17:06:09Z")
[QUOTE=BubbaDog] And with an intentional broad-brush in response to what **Cryptoderk** said in his first post - [/QUOTE] Fair enough - me being a little oversensitive there, having just spent an hour being told by the health insurance people I don’t understand the system because I am British, though I do have a wonderful accent… :rolleyes: No, bitch, I don’t understand your system because it makes no fucking sense. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/78 "2007-06-05T17:10:44Z")
**RedRoses** , sorry you had to deal with that jerk, speaking as a guy, his behaviour would certainly qualify as creepy, if not outright risky Situational Awareness is key here, you recognized him as a potential threat, and took steps to let him know you’re not interested… calling the police and having them do a simple drive-by, perhaps a pull-in-and check couldn’t hurt either, that said, the only person you should be relying on for protection is yourself a couple of suggestions i’d make would be… if you’re going out late at night (why should you curtail _your_ activities to “accomodate” potential risks/scumbags), carry a small, powerful flashlight with you, a SureFire, for example, a [SF G2 Nitrolon](http://www.surefire.com/maxexp/main/co_disp/displ/prrfnbr/878/sesent/00), or [6P Defender](http://www.surefire.com/maxexp/main/co_disp/displ/prrfnbr/24437/sesent/00) series with the High Output (120 Lumens) P61 lamp assembly emits a blinding white light that can seriously disrupt a dark-adapted perp’s vision, the 6P-D also adds in a scalloped “Strike Bezel” at the head of the light that can be used as a last-resort striking tool, the [SF E2 Exexutive Defender](http://www.surefire.com/maxexp/main/co_disp/displ/prrfnbr/1132/sesent/00) is a slightly slimmer, more compact light, with a slightly dimmer but still blinding (60 Lumens) light, and a Strike Bezel at both ends of the light having a pocket light available will allow you to sweep the parking lot area and illuminate any dark spots, like in/under your car, and since assailants tend to look for people that are unaware of their surroundings (walking with their heads down, or preoccupied with other things), your active searching would likely reduce your tendency to be targeted and even if you never need to use the light defensively, you’ll always have a convenient source of light on you at all times, it’s amazing how many times a good, solid light comes in handy… another thing worth carrying (as long as you’re willing to deal with the potential reprocussions) would be a small pocketknife, the [Spyderco Delica (3" blade)](http://spyderco.com/catalog/details.php?product=227) and [Endura (4" blade)](http://spyderco.com/catalog/details.php?product=226) with the integrated “Wave” feature would be ideal for this, go with a plain edge blade, as it’s a more useful general purpose blade, the Wave feature (licenced from Ernest Emerson of Emerson Knives) is designed to snag on the pocket edge as you withdraw the knife, opening the blade, a waved knife will be fully open and locked when withdrawn from the pocket, the Wave is one of the fastest, simplest, and most reliable opening technologies out there even assuming you never have to use it for self-defense (lets hope that you never need to), you’ll still have a convenient cutting tool on you for all your general purpose cutting needs… of course, if you _REALLY_ want to scare any would-be assailant, there’s always the [Spyderco Civillian](http://spyderco.com/catalog/details.php?product=60) 😉 glad you were able to defuse the situation, too bad you had to deal with it in the first place, but i think you performed well, given the circumstances ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/79 "2007-06-05T17:14:13Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] Rape is serious because of its effects on the rape survivor. If you’re distinguishing between some rapes that are serious and others that are less so, you’re arrogating to yourself the privilege to inform rape survivors how their rape should have affected them. [/QUOTE] Ah, I see why I’ve been misunderstood. Most people here are talking about the consequences of the rape to the victim, which I agree are almost always very serious. I was talking exclusively about the offence itself. For example, consider raping someone with Korsakoff’s Amnesia. In terms of long term mental consequences to the victim… well, there aren’t any. The severity of the offence doesn’t change from that. As for unreasonably witholding sex - I suppose it’s the same issue here as, for example, the Salvation Army withholding aid from anyone named Frederick. It would be highly unreasonable, but at the same time of course it should be respected, and if Frederick steals from the Salvation Army he has committed a serious crime. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804/80 "2007-06-05T17:16:23Z")
[QUOTE=Cryptoderk] All the “rapes” that I’m aware of were by the women’s SOs, and usually because the SO was drunk and the woman was (often unreasonably) witholding sex. [/QUOTE] Erm, under what circumstances is it unreasonable to not be in the mood for sex? Particularly if the sex is going to be with some drunkin, smelly asshole? I don’t know about everyone, but that combination of qualities in a guy (ie, drunk, smelly, asshole) don’t exactly get my juices flowing, ya know? I’m intrigued to know your answer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-creepy-bastard-who-had-nothing-better-to-do-than-scare-me-shitless-tonight/406804.md?page=5)