# To the dirty hippie that re-entered Canada with me over the long weekend. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208 "2007-09-06T03:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/1 "2007-09-06T03:40:10Z")
Did you enjoy Bumbershoot? Awesome, dude. I’m glad, really I am! One thing I was curious about though: You’ve been through this whole “border crossing” thing before, right? You know what to expect? Why did this happen? Why were all your fellow travellers on the Greyhound Peasant Wagon obliged to wait patiently for nearly three-quarters of an hour while the nice border agents went through you and your girlfriend’s belongings (and likely your persons) with the highest level of scrutiny they could possibly muster? Maybe it was because you chose to wear a t-shirt that declared, unambiguously, that you were anACID-HEAD Dude, I am not judgemental about your lifestyle choices. (Much.) I mean, I get it. Me, I don’t have anything against LSD by a long shot. I also don’t think prohibition against psychedelic substances is a sensible policy. But that’s neither here nor there. I _know_ your momma told you to “be true to yourself.” That’s cool. But when the schedules of 50+ other people depend on it, WEAR A DIFFERENT FUCKING SHIRT WHEN YOU GO THROUGH CUSTOMS, YOU MORON. It’s not that hard. Besides which, it stank. Like dirty hippie. _Anxious_ dirty hippie, when you came back. That’s the worst kind. Did the nice border agents hold up me or my companions when I took _actual_ LSD across the border, a statute of limitations ago? No! Why? Because I made the most rudimentary of efforts to disguise the fact that I was I GIANT FUCKING HEAD, and didn’t wear an article of clothing that basically _required_ a butt-probe. Did I mention you stink? Your fecking _body odour_ has psychedelic properties. Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/2 "2007-09-06T04:01:22Z")
You’d think it would dawn on border patrol that the drug smugglers are the ones who _don’t_ look like hippies, just like terrorists are not going to be wearing religious hats, flowing robes, or long beards. ETA: Not that the hippie shouldn’t have known that this isn’t yet how border patrol thinks, and to dress like a square. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/3 "2007-09-06T04:12:09Z")
So where did he live, so we can go about bottling his hippiesweat and reselling it to his friends. Nothing says profit like hippies. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/4 "2007-09-06T04:32:56Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] You’d think it would dawn on border patrol that the drug smugglers are the ones who _don’t_ look like hippies, just like terrorists are not going to be wearing religious hats, flowing robes, or long beards. [/QUOTE] When I was a teenager I came back from Grand Cayman on a charter flight. Customs picked out me and the other teenager and went through all our stuff with a fine tooth comb. One of the people with us – a pro photographer who flew all over the world – said that smugglers would put stuff in the luggage of the ones the looked most “innocent”. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/5 "2007-09-06T05:23:25Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] You’d think it would dawn on border patrol that the drug smugglers are the ones who _don’t_ look like hippies, just like terrorists are not going to be wearing religious hats, flowing robes, or long beards. ETA: Not that the hippie shouldn’t have known that this isn’t yet how border patrol thinks, and to dress like a square. [/QUOTE] True, but in fairness, anyone dumb enough to wear that shirt through customs is dumb enough to do it while carrying. ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/6 "2007-09-06T12:41:22Z")
Not to try and one-up, but our packed Greyhound was held up for three hours crossing back into the States from Quebec because a citizen of Jamaica had with her a bottle of home made ginger beer in her luggage. They went through all her things, which consisted mainly of fabric and needles and thread (she was a seamstress) and sent the ginger beer off for testing on the basis that it might have been _liquid ecstasy_. WTF? 'Cause so many people carry that stuff around in 2 quart jars. Ha, and just before we actually made it to NYC, the driver turned around and went back to Albany without saying a word. We found out on the way back he’d left his watch in the Albany station’s restroom. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/7 "2007-09-06T13:02:43Z")
[QUOTE=Time Like Tears] Not to try and one-up, but our packed Greyhound was held up for three hours crossing back into the States from Quebec because a citizen of Jamaica had with her a bottle of home made ginger beer in her luggage. They went through all her things, which consisted mainly of fabric and needles and thread (she was a seamstress) and sent the ginger beer off for testing on the basis that it might have been _liquid ecstasy_. WTF? 'Cause so many people carry that stuff around in 2 quart jars. Ha, and just before we actually made it to NYC, the driver turned around and went back to Albany without saying a word. We found out on the way back he’d left his watch in the Albany station’s restroom. [/QUOTE] Maybe he took it off to check his stash of drugs hidden in the watch. ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/8 "2007-09-06T13:20:03Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Maybe he took it off to check his stash of drugs hidden in the watch. [/QUOTE] I honestly think that Greyhound and customs work together to make at least one passing bus a day absolutely miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/9 "2007-09-06T22:31:06Z")
He was _PROFILED!!_ Thats what you should be pissed about! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/10 "2007-09-07T03:09:59Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] Dude, I am not judgemental about your lifestyle choices. (Much.) I mean, I get it. Me, I don’t have anything against LSD by a long shot. I also don’t think prohibition against psychedelic substances is a sensible policy. But that’s neither here nor there. I _know_ your momma told you to “be true to yourself.” That’s cool. But when the schedules of 50+ other people depend on it, WEAR A DIFFERENT FUCKING SHIRT WHEN YOU GO THROUGH CUSTOMS, YOU MORON. It’s not that hard. Besides which, it stank. Like dirty hippie. _Anxious_ dirty hippie, when you came back. That’s the worst kind. Did the nice border agents hold up me or my companions when I took _actual_ LSD across the border, a statute of limitations ago? No! Why? Because I made the most rudimentary of efforts to disguise the fact that I was I GIANT FUCKING HEAD, and didn’t wear an article of clothing that basically _required_ a butt-probe. Did I mention you stink? Your fecking _body odour_ has psychedelic properties. Ass. [/QUOTE] You are totally harshing his mellow. You and those fascist border patrols. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/11 "2007-09-07T10:49:28Z")
The OP just makes me want to let my freak flag fly, man. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2007, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/12 "2007-09-07T10:54:11Z")
Shouldn’t the OP have concluded with “Screw you guys, I’m going home”? ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-dirty-hippie-that-re-entered-canada-with-me-over-the-long-weekend/418208/13 "2007-09-08T02:05:21Z")
Just be happy that he didn’t wear his “I have XDR TB” t-shirt. Good to know that “stupid knows no borders”, eh?