# To the father of my beloved: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886 "2005-09-16T00:20:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/1 "2005-09-16T00:20:33Z")
Look, asshole, if he wants to kill himself because his own mother won’t leave him alone, MAYBE THERE’S A PROBLEM!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/2 "2005-09-16T00:25:52Z")
Wow, nice rant. I give it a 10 for clarity… ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/3 "2005-09-16T00:31:43Z")
See, it’s what I get for trying to criticize somebody’s wife. You want clarity? Here’s clarity: -Wife is a Controlling Bitch; Husband is Officially Whipped. -They are “Concerned Parents” i.e. constantly pester him about getting a “career job”. -Boyfriend is barely graduated and sadly can’t get away from them, let alone get a “career job”. -He calls me and questions his worth as a human being. -I, naturally, get mad. -I call Officially Whipped Husband while still mad. He admits nothing. They are going to “talk” tonight (i.e. I just made things worse). ARGH! ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/4 "2005-09-16T00:38:44Z")
Never miss an oppotunity to STFU and let whipped boyfriend fight his own battles. Between you and me, he’s well on his way to living his father’s life anyway. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/5 "2005-09-16T00:44:03Z")
Har, har…I only whip him literally. It’s only when his constant fighting with them spills over into his emotional health that I get, how we call it, a _wee bit upset._ ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/6 "2005-09-16T01:00:44Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Never miss an oppotunity to STFU and let whipped boyfriend fight his own battles. > > Between you and me, he’s well on his way to living his father’s life anyway. :rolleyes: My god, you’re an asshole. Sorry to hear about it, **Giant Spongess**. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/7 "2005-09-16T01:02:59Z")
Eh, right now I’m mostly mad at myself for shoving my big mouth in edgewise, cause it certainly did no damn good. Cause he didn’t listen. Even if he did have valid points (I admit, there were a few) the fact that _his son is suicidal_ should arouse a little more concern than that. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/8 "2005-09-16T01:07:48Z")
Your intentions were good, but you can’t get directly involved in his family battles. Just support him directly and see if you can steer him to some sort of counseling. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/9 "2005-09-16T01:26:10Z")
With all due respect if your boyfriend is _suicidal_ because his mother pesters and bitches at him to get “a career job”, I might suggest you have far larger potential problems looming in the future re any relationship with him, even if bitch mom was out of the picture. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/10 "2005-09-16T01:27:16Z")
> [@astro](#): > > With all due respect if your boyfriend is _suicidal_ because his mother pesters and bitches at him to get “a career job”, I might suggest you have far larger potential problems looming in the future re any relationship with him, even if bitch mom was out of the picture. See? This is why clarity is bad. As with everything, it’s more complicated than that. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/11 "2005-09-16T02:55:22Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#): > > -I call Officially Whipped Husband while still mad. He admits nothing. They are going to “talk” tonight (i.e. I just made things worse). Despite what \*\*LaurAnge \*\*said, \*\*QuickSilver \*\*was right. You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/12 "2005-09-16T04:33:51Z")
Hey, whaddya know? My comments seem to have actually made a difference for once. They at least conceded to let him leave an argument. This bull is vacating the chinashop. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/13 "2005-09-16T07:37:05Z")
What in the ever living fuck is this thread about? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/14 "2005-09-16T12:11:59Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > What in the ever living fuck is this thread about? I think Giant\_Spongess is upset because her boyfriend’s mom is hoarding all the available cans of Pussi-Wip. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/15 "2005-09-16T12:24:30Z")
I hope your boyfriend can seek some assistance, but let’s face it, getting involved in family squabbles is a Bad Idea. Good luck though, y’all will need it. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/16 "2005-09-16T12:43:39Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#): > > Boyfriend is barely graduated and sadly can’t get away from them, let alone get a “career job”. How recent is “barely graduated”? I understand that he doesn’t have the means to move out ATM, but if he graduated in the spring of this year, he should at least have been actively seeking a job in his chosen field. Even if he graduated last month, he should still have a game plan. I further understand that jobs in one’s chosen field don’t just materialize. But perhaps Mom’s frustration is caused by your SO’s not looking hard enough for a “career job”, not his mere lack of one. And if he wants to get away from them, surely finding a job is a means to that end. (That said, if she really is on his case 24/7, and he really is suicidal, that’s not conducive to finding a job. Still not a wasp’s nest you should stick your hand into, though.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/17 "2005-09-16T13:24:03Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > My god, you’re an asshole. > > Sorry to hear about it, **Giant Spongess**. Uh, no, \*\*Quickie’s \*\* right. I eventually broke up with a boyfriend because he couldn’t fight his own battles. **Giant Spongess** I wish you luck, but it’s not your place to get involved, and he may not be good for you anyway. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/18 "2005-09-16T13:43:48Z")
So if **BF** really is suicidal you just riled up the beast that was tormenting him? 1. Get boyfriend legitimate counseling. Suicide talk demands professional help. 2. Support and encourage his job search 3. When boyfriend has shown healthy improvement help boyfrined shop for a spine. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/19 "2005-09-16T16:24:41Z")
Being right or wrong does not an asshole make. It’s all in the delivery. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886/20 "2005-09-16T16:28:56Z")
Keep in mind what he’s going through now is a sign of how your marriage to him will be. (If he doesn’t change how he deals with them.) Just take that into consideration. Forewarned is forearmed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-father-of-my-beloved/321886.md?page=2)