# To the fuckers who stole my bike... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198 "2006-08-10T19:36:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/1 "2006-08-10T19:36:08Z")
If I knew who stole my bike, I would literally kick the shit out of them. It’s not enough I have sprained an ankle which has already hampered my training, now my only form of good cardio exercise left has been probably stolen by pot smoking, punk asses. I loved that bike, and I used it everyday. It is a 500$ bike. I hope they bike off a cliff. Fucking assholes. ---
**Author:** ![MessyPaint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@MessyPaint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MessyPaint)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/2 "2006-08-10T19:38:38Z")
My third day in Boston my bike was stolen. I hadn’t locked it up. I was never used to doing it in West Virginia. I know how you feel. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/3 "2006-08-10T19:50:09Z")
Fuck all thieves, whether they steal bikes or anything else. They’re all fucking assholes. ---
**Author:** ![XaMcQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f9ae1b/32.png) [@XaMcQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XaMcQ)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/4 "2006-08-10T20:12:51Z")
A pox on thieves! May they get horrible boils on their bums. May they get atheletes foot, jock itch, poison ivy and chiggers. May the fleas of a thousand camels find their tents! :mad: Quas, may the universe send you a replacement that you love just as much, somehow. You are now owed a little good luck. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/5 "2006-08-10T20:16:22Z")
Did you lock it? Because you **really** have to lock bikes. Someone can steal it and be out of sight in seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/6 "2006-08-10T20:21:56Z")
All bike owners should watch [this video.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TNTq3nhuh0) As that demonstrates, I don’t really think locking will deter a determined thief. Nor time. It’s kind of a crap shoot. A friend of mine recently brought his bike chain to dinner, so he could show us how it had be chopped at, half cut through with bolt cutters, and _burned_! On the bright side, that was one bike they didn’t get. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/7 "2006-08-10T20:22:52Z")
> [@XaMcQ](#): > > May the fleas of a thousand camels find their tents! :mad: May the fleas of a thousand camels set up housekeeping in their underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/8 "2006-08-10T20:35:31Z")
> [@Jenny Haniver](#): > > All bike owners should watch [this video.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TNTq3nhuh0) > > As that demonstrates, I don’t really think locking will deter a determined thief. Nor time. It’s kind of a crap shoot. Well, uh, duh. Got any videos of a boltcutter busting one of [these?](http://www.kryptonitelock.com/inetisscripts/abtinetis.exe/templateform@public?tn=about_about) > [@](#): > > In a city where over 100,000 bikes are stolen each year, Kryptonite and the New York Post took a brand new, bright green Univega road bike worth $600 and locked it to a parking meter in East Village; the “Bermuda Triangle” of New York bicycle thievery. For a full 48 hours, the bike remained locked on the corner of Avenue A and 11th Street. Zane and McDaid remained as a surveillance team living out of the back of a van, subsisting on cold coffee and a strong belief in their product. > > Watching from around the corner, the duo witnessed as the bike came under every possible means of assault, thwarting thieves at every turn. After 48 hours, the bike remained intact, except for the gear derailer that had been stripped off. The lock showed definite signs of abuse, but it had not failed. The New York Lock had met the Post Challenge. Determined thief or not, unlocked bikes get stolen at a much higher rate than locked bikes. I have three, each one worth three times that of the OP. Never been stolen, even when I rode one to college or work every day. Locking a bike is way mo betta than not locking one. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/9 "2006-08-10T20:51:41Z")
For the record, the bike wasn’t locked, but that was because my bike got rusted or something and the key got stuck in it, of course I didn’t replace it in time, the bike was in my backyard though, and I arranged the lock so it looked like it was locked… Not enough time sometimes to get around to everything… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/10 "2006-08-10T20:51:58Z")
For the record, the bike wasn’t locked, but that was because my bike lock got rusted or something and the key got stuck in it, of course I didn’t replace it in time, the bike was in my backyard though, and I arranged the lock so it looked like it was locked… Not enough time sometimes to get around to everything… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/11 "2006-08-10T20:53:02Z")
And now a double post… (the second one is correct where I say the LOCK got rusted, not the bike) :mad: ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/12 "2006-08-10T23:22:49Z")
You should be halfway excused for it being in your backyard, one should not expect thieves to enter random backyards without knowing something valuable is back there. Keep an eye out for neighbors who happen to get a new bike which looks exactly like yours. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/13 "2006-08-10T23:48:10Z")
My son’s bike has been stolen so many times he can’t count. The best way to keep a nice bike these days is INDOORS. People suck. Were you insured? I hope. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/14 "2006-08-10T23:53:48Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > The best way to keep a nice bike these days is INDOORS. People suck. True dat. ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/15 "2006-08-11T05:17:25Z")
> [@Jenny Haniver](#): > > All bike owners should watch [this video.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TNTq3nhuh0) > > As that demonstrates, I don’t really think locking will deter a determined thief. Nor time. It’s kind of a crap shoot. > > A friend of mine recently brought his bike chain to dinner, so he could show us how it had be chopped at, half cut through with bolt cutters, and _burned_! On the bright side, that was one bike they didn’t get. Let’s try a scientific test: you leave your bike unlocked in New York. I’ll leave mine locked. Let’s see who’s bike gets stolen first. Locking a bike isn’t foolproof, but doing it right decreases your chance of having it ripped off by several orders of magnitude. There is a special place in Hell for bike thieves, **Quasimodal**. I feel for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Firebringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@Firebringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Firebringer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/16 "2006-08-11T09:03:52Z")
Despite my dislike for Cyclists whom I generally consider a nuisance, danger on the roads and general blight on mankind you have my commiserations. Having anything stolen is sickening and lowers your view of human nature. It’s also sad that anyone should be expected to have to lock their bike up to find it there when they come back. I know it might count as entrapment but got to wonder why the Cops don’t set up ‘sting’ operations if it’s so prevelant in a particular area. I got a smile out of your opening post reminded me somewhat of John Travolta’s character in Pulp Fictions comments about someone scratching his car. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/17 "2006-08-11T09:17:15Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Well, uh, duh. Got any videos of a boltcutter busting one of [these?](http://www.kryptonitelock.com/inetisscripts/abtinetis.exe/templateform@public?tn=about_about) No, I have no video of one being busted, but how about [this](http://thirdrate.com/kryptonite/)? No lock is safe. None. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/18 "2006-08-11T10:31:03Z")
Put up some signs: If I looking for Bike Him name is Hopkin Bike I lost my Bike Love Quasi P.S I’ll find my bike Who took my bike That should garner some national attention and your bike will soon be found. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/19 "2006-08-11T10:58:28Z")
> [@Airman Doors](#): > > No, I have no video of one being busted, but how about [this](http://thirdrate.com/kryptonite/)? Someone found a glitch and it was corrected. Kryptonite has a replacement guarantee if the lock fails. Any stats on how many claims were made? > [@](#): > > No lock is safe. None. I take it, then, that you do not bother locking your house, your car, your safe, your guns? I mean, with locks being so useless ad all. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198/20 "2006-08-11T11:15:24Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Someone found a glitch and it was corrected. Kryptonite has a replacement guarantee if the lock fails. Whoopee. Does Kryptonite promise to replace the stolen goods as well? Even if they do it is a major inconvenience. Replacing a “defective” (read: easily defeated) lock is small condolence indeed. > [@](#): > > Any stats on how many claims were made? Does there need to be? It’s the old armor/bomb quandary: you can up the armor, but in the end the bigger bomb still wins. You show me a lock and I’ll guarantee you that someone is finding a way around it if one doesn’t already exist. > [@](#): > > I take it, then, that you do not bother locking your house, your car, your safe, your guns? I mean, with locks being so useless ad all. Sure I do, for deterrence. That by no means implies that I think that they are secure. It’s simply a matter of dedication, knowledge, and equipment and the willingness to use it to criminal ends. The casual thief is deterred by a lock because it’s much more work than simply stealing something unlocked, which he/she will inevitably happen upon sooner or later. But if someone wants into my house it’s a simple matter indeed to get around whatever security I might have, and the more complicated I get with my security the time it takes to get around it may increase but in reality it’s no more difficult for a skilled thief than a standard dead bolt. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-fuckers-who-stole-my-bike/368198.md?page=2)