# To the \[illegal c-word\] in the white Escalade who tried to kill me twice this morning **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709 "2013-01-19T13:52:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/1 "2013-01-19T13:52:48Z")
:mad: Fuck you you stupid piece of shit fucking idiot fucking fuck! :mad: We’re literally the only two cars on this stretch of road. You cut me off turning onto this road because you couldn’t wait _2 fucking seconds_ for me to pass, then just moments later, after getting onto the road in the middle lane, you immediately cut me off _again_ even closer, as in you would have hit me had I not stomped on my brakes, cutting across two lanes to make your exit. I take some measure of comfort in the fact that someday, probably soon, your idiocy and total lack of awareness is inevitably going to get you maimed or killed. I just hope you don’t hurt anyone else doing it. So fuck you you fucking [illegal c-word]. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/2 "2013-01-19T15:06:03Z")
_If I had a rocket launcher…_ ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/3 "2013-01-19T15:08:43Z")
What, ‘cunt’? Cunt isn’t illegal! Cunt! Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunting cunt. Go ahead. You won’t get in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/4 "2013-01-19T15:27:33Z")
It’s only illegal if the Escalade driver was a poster here. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/5 "2013-01-19T15:53:28Z")
I have a nice little formula I recite when I encounter drivers like that. It helps me keep my composure. It goes like this: “I damn thee and all thy descendants, until thy entire line dies out, may that occur soon.” Sometimes I add: “And it probably will, if you keep driving like that.” ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/6 "2013-01-19T15:59:48Z")
Well I guess some good came of this incident: it led me to find the [Elizabethan Curse Generator](http://trevorstone.org/curse/). So, cunt in the white Escalade, I curse you thusly: Thou droning bat-fowling nut-hook! Thou rank weather-bitten hedge-pig! Thou wenching beef-witted snipe! Thou surly milk-livered codpiece! Thou tottering ill-nurtured scantling! Thou yeasty sour-faced snipe! Thou droning ill-nurtured malt-worm! Thou currish reeling-ripe clack-dish! Thou wenching dismal-dreaming jack-a-nape! Thou beslubbering horn-mad codpiece! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/7 "2013-01-19T16:04:21Z")
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion!” ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/8 "2013-01-19T16:18:55Z")
I once had a similar experience. When I wound up behind the car at a stop light, I noticed that her personalized license plate read NOTACNT. Since I’d been mentally calling her the c-word, I was amused and was definitely wondering about the story behind the plate. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/9 "2013-01-19T16:50:26Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > I have a nice little formula I recite when I encounter drivers like that. It helps me keep my composure. It goes like this: > > “I damn thee and all thy descendants, until thy entire line dies out, may that occur soon.” Sometimes I add: “And it probably will, if you keep driving like that.” I perform a Dogbert-style exorcism with people like that. “Out! Out, ye demons of stupidity!” ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/10 "2013-01-19T17:05:05Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > _If I had a rocket launcher…_ I’d rather use an AR-15. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/11 "2013-01-19T17:40:33Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > I once had a similar experience. When I wound up behind the car at a stop light, I noticed that her personalized license plate read NOTACNT. Since I’d been mentally calling her the c-word, I was amused and was definitely wondering about the story behind the plate. Principled tax avoidance? As for the thread: I’m somewhat disappointed, I’d assumed you were doing lines in the back of a white Escalade. Well, glad you survived, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/12 "2013-01-19T19:24:44Z")
I read the OP and said, “And…?” That’s just business as usual for Escalade drivers. 🙂 It has come to my attention that since I drive a small silver Corolla, I don’t have right-of-way any time there is an SUV or half-ton truck wanting to get somewhere and I’m in the way. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/13 "2013-01-19T20:29:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > or half-ton truck wanting to get somewhere and I’m in the way. That’s a small truck! ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/14 "2013-01-19T21:35:56Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > :mad: Fuck you you stupid piece of shit fucking idiot fucking fuck! :mad: > > We’re literally the only two cars on this stretch of road. You cut me off turning onto this road because you couldn’t wait _2 fucking seconds_ for me to pass, then just moments later, after getting onto the road in the middle lane, you immediately cut me off _again_ even closer, as in you would have hit me had I not stomped on my brakes, cutting across two lanes to make your exit. > > I take some measure of comfort in the fact that someday, probably soon, your idiocy and total lack of awareness is inevitably going to get you maimed or killed. I just hope you don’t hurt anyone else doing it. > > So fuck you you fucking [illegal c-word]. New Jersey plates? ---
**Author:** ![Skypist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skypist/32/169_2.png) [@Skypist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skypist)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/15 "2013-01-19T22:17:51Z")
Maybe she was on her way to a movie and didn’t want to have to sit in the first 5 rows. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/16 "2013-01-19T22:48:14Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > _If I had a rocket launcher…_ _Some /sonovabitch/ would die!_ /\/ ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/17 "2013-01-19T23:03:35Z")
> [@BigAppleBucky](#): > > New Jersey plates? Virginia. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/18 "2013-01-20T01:51:19Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > Maybe she was on her way to a movie and didn’t want to have to sit in the first 5 rows. Ha! ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/19 "2013-01-20T04:18:13Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > Maybe she was on her way to a movie and didn’t want to have to sit in the first 5 rows. Haha. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709/20 "2013-01-20T06:22:16Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > _Some /sonovabitch/ would die!_ /\/ Bruce Cockburn actually. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-illegal-c-word-in-the-white-escalade-who-tried-to-kill-me-twice-this-morning/647709.md?page=2)