# To the lady who called me a homophobic fucktard the other day **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 25, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080 "2005-07-25T17:11:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/81 "2005-07-26T13:17:10Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Homophobic Lesbian Dwarves? Next on Springer! Not dwarves. > [@](#): > > She **(the Ring-bearer)** disrespected her own relationship by pretending it was a marriage when it was not. If the state doesn’t allow lesbian marriages then it is not a marriage. Homophobic Lesbian _Hobbits_. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/82 "2005-07-26T13:52:32Z")
**Brain Wreck** “child” hardly refers to a 20 year old woman in any accurate sense of the word. **Lord Ashtar** -it’s not your fault the rules are stupid, you did your job, the older woman (she was clearly no lady!) was in the wrong. Everyone should just decide one age (I go for 16) where you are legally of age where you can give informed consent and can do all the stuff we decide adults should be able to do if they so choose. e.g. have sex with a consenting person of your choice purchase and drink alcohol smoke tobacco join the army pay taxes get married consent to medical treatment buy lottery tickets drive a car Too many of problems are caused by people not taking personal responsibility for their actions. Perhaps insisting they shoulder more responsibility at an earlier age would help. It would certainly end the minefield of all the different ages for doing different things in different jurisdictions. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/83 "2005-07-26T13:52:50Z")
> [@Brain Wreck](#): > > No, that’s wrong and irrelevant. The “Ring-bearer” behaved as if marriage (straight or gay) conferred legal guardianship. It doesn’t. No, it’s right but irrelevant. The Ring-bearer behaved as if her marriage was a legal fact. It wasn’t. **Lord Ashtar** would have been accurate, albeit inflammatory, had he responded to “She’s my wife!” with “No, she isn’t.” > [@Shodan](#): > > Homophobic Lesbian Hobbits. a) Band Name! b) Say thank you to me for the feed line 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/84 "2005-07-26T14:45:06Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > She (the Ring-bearer) disrespected her own relationship by pretending it was a marriage when it was not. If the state doesn’t allow lesbian marriages then it is not a marriage. You might wish that it were otherwise; I might agree with you. (Really. I might. For the purposes of this argument, I don’t have to say.) But trumpeting a relationship as being a marriage when it isn’t one is a lie, pure and simple. You can consider it as one among your family and friends for what you might call “social, domestic and pleasure” purposes, but that doesn’t make it one for the purpose of any legal requirements - _if_ it would have satisfied any in this case. > > I’ll line up over here, along with everyone else who thinks this was a 44-year-old attitude looking for somewhere to happen. A piece of paper with a government’s stamp of approval isn’t what makes you married. I believe her when she said they were married. But even if the government did say they were married, it still wouldn’t be good enough to get the under 21 past me and into the bar. Like I said before, if it was a 44 year old man with a 20 year old woman or a 44 year old woman with a 20 year old man, I still wouldn’t have let them in. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/85 "2005-07-26T14:50:26Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > a) Band Name! > b) Say thank you to me for the feed line 😃 Thank you for the feed line. Make it “Homophobic Lesbian Hobbits in Spandex”, and you got yourself a winner. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/86 "2005-07-26T15:16:05Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > A piece of paper with a government’s stamp of approval isn’t what makes you married. I believe her when she said they were married. But even if the government did say they were married, it still wouldn’t be good enough to get the under 21 past me and into the bar. Like I said before, if it was a 44 year old man with a 20 year old woman or a 44 year old woman with a 20 year old man, I still wouldn’t have let them in. Understood. I was just advancing the position that, _had_ the question of whether they were married or not been relevant, it is indeed that stamped piece of paper that counts, and not your personal position, however enlightened. More, the fucktard-caller would have known this perfectly well. Were it a club for married couples and a club rule - not the law of the land - that needed to be taken into account, that’d possibly be another matter; but even then, your own views on the validity of gay marriage would be neither here nor there, and she would _still_ know that. Oh yes, and I too was skeeved out by the notion that the older partner in the marriage was de facto the guardian of the younger. I think there would be riots in the street if there was any suggestion that a 44yo man was the legal guardian of his 20yo wife - especially if this applied whether she wanted him to be or not. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/87 "2005-07-26T15:22:10Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Make it “Homophobic Lesbian Hobbits in Spandex”, and you got yourself a winner. At that point, I think you got yourself a website. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/88 "2005-07-26T15:26:24Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Then you get to deal with a lesbian with a chip on her shoulder and a trophy wife, who has been drinking. Hilarity ensues. And in this case it would actually be hilarity, as penis would most definitely **not** ensue. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/89 "2005-07-26T15:31:51Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > And in this case it would actually be hilarity, as penis would most definitely **not** ensue. Sez you. I know of at least one lesbian couple on the Dope where penis has ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/90 "2005-07-26T15:38:31Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > At that point, I think you got yourself a website. > > Daniel Yup, with about a hundred links to slashfic. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/91 "2005-07-26T15:50:47Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Homophobic Lesbian _Hobbits_. > > Regards, > Shodan I do believe you mean [throbbits](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0323108/) (pretty work safe). ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/92 "2005-07-26T16:55:24Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Does such a relationship have any legal standing in Virginia anyway? Even if the law was written so that an underage spouse could get in (though probably not served drinks) with the overage spouse, I would still think it’d have to be a marriage, fully recognized by the state. Does Virginia have a (potentially) applicable civil union law? Nope. In fact, this will probably be one of the last states to grant legal status to same-sex unions, let alone recognize them as legal marriages. IIRC, earlier this year, the State House tried to pass a law to not recognize any kind of non-traditional marriage. ---
**Author:** ![no\_screen\_name\_for\_now](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@no\_screen\_name\_for\_now](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/no_screen_name_for_now)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/93 "2005-07-26T17:02:43Z")
I’m kind of interested in what the 20-year-old wife did when the 44-year-old wife said she was her legal guardian. Did she just stand there with her thumb up her ass or what? :dubious: I was 20 when I married my husband, who is only 7 years older than I am. Had he ever said that he was my “legal guardian” he would have, at the very least, limped away with some bruises and probably would have needed medical attention. And, no, the 20-year-old is not her wife. I understand and hold dearly in my heart the idea that a marriage certificate isn’t what makes a marriage a marriage, but it is what makes a marriage _legal_. What makes a marriage a marriage (IMHO) is love, mutual respect, and, hopefully, (and in my case…yay for me!) incredible mind-blowing sex on a regular basis. I’m all for legalizing same-sex marriages. Gays and lesbians should have all the benefits and protection that the law allows like my husband I do do. You know, the right to pay higher taxes, the right to to hire a divorce lawyer if things go bad, the right to be sued for spousal support, the right to have sleepless nights because you think your soon-to-be ex-husband/wife is about to take everything you’ve ever worked for in your life. For real though, gays and lesbians should be able to have their partners on their health insurance (if they’re lucky enough to _have_ health insurance through work), the right to take time off for family leave if they’re lucky enough to have or adopt a child, and the \*absolute \* right to introduce their husband or wife as their husband or wife without fear of persecution or prosectution. Sorry, that’s not really an issue in regards to this thread, because Lord Ashtar wouldn’t have been able to let them in even if they had been a May-December man and a woman instead of May-December women. I just had to put my two cents in, I do that sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/94 "2005-07-26T17:37:16Z")
> [@no screen name for now](#): > > I’m kind of interested in what the 20-year-old wife did when the 44-year-old wife said she was her legal guardian. Did she just stand there with her thumb up her ass or what? :dubious: Pretty much. She just stood there as the whole conversation happened, then followed her wife out the door. She never said a word. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/95 "2005-07-26T17:46:52Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Sez you. I know of at least one lesbian couple on the Dope where penis has ensued. I knew it was only a matter of minutes. Forgive me my wide brush. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/96 "2005-07-26T17:50:21Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Sez you. I know of at least one lesbian couple on the Dope where penis has ensued. Was it a real penis or was it battery powered? ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/97 "2005-07-26T18:04:33Z")
I’m saying, right. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/98 "2005-07-26T19:09:33Z")
> [@chatelaine](#): > > I knew it was only a matter of minutes. Forgive me my wide brush. 😉 Aww… \*pats **chatelaine** on the tush… …then goes off to apply Dettol to the bleeding stump where his hand used to be. 😃 > [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Was it a real penis or was it battery powered? Flesh and blood, chromosomally granted, and fully functional. The possessor was (don’t know about “is”, and it’s not my business) in the process of transgendering, self-identified as female (and was accepted as such by her partner) but still possessed masculine genitals. And I doubt this is a unique situation. Still, bearing in mind **chatelaine** ’s original comment, I agree that this was the smart way to bet. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Banana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/da6949/32.png) [@Atomic\_Banana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Banana)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/99 "2005-07-26T20:20:13Z")
> [@andros](#): > > IANAL, but you’re quite correct. No one in any US state is permitted to drink alcohol in a bar, tavern, or restaurant unless they are 21 or older, regardless of marital state, emancipation, or phase of the moon. IANAL either, but I don’t think this is true, at least for Texas. See section 106.04 at [this site](http://www.tabc.state.tx.us/leginfo/minorcode.htm) and #6 and 7 from the related [FAQ.](http://www.tabc.state.tx.us/help/General.htm) As a personal anecdote, I have a friend who married a 20 year old and most bars or restaurants in the area had no problem with letting her drink when she was with him. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080/100 "2005-07-26T20:45:16Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Aww… \*pats **chatelaine** on the tush… > …then goes off to apply Dettol to the bleeding stump where his hand used to be. 😃 Oh, hardly! Just don’t feel emasculated when I return the favour. 😃 > [@](#): > > Flesh and blood, chromosomally granted, and fully functional. The possessor was (don’t know about “is”, and it’s not my business) in the process of transgendering, self-identified as female (and was accepted as such by her partner) but still possessed masculine genitals. And I doubt this is a unique situation. Oh now, psh, that’s hardly penis **ensuing**. That’s more… penis just hanging out, getting in the way, and freeloading. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-lady-who-called-me-a-homophobic-fucktard-the-other-day/314080.md?page=6)