# To the obese woman whose cell phone rang at the tomb of the unknown soldier **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573 "2007-05-03T03:06:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tofergregg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/1 "2007-05-03T03:06:06Z")
Friends and I went to Washington, D.C. a couple of weeks ago, and while there we visited Arlington National Cemetery. We arrived at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier just as a wreath laying ceremony was starting. It was a solemn affair, and an impeccably dressed soldier carefully and militarily laid wreaths at the foot of the tomb as another bugled taps. As a Navy Reservist, it brought a tear to my eye, and the silence was golden… …Until the pocket of the white-trash, fat cow standing next to me erupted with a cacophonous scream. Her pocket bellowed, and I quote, > [@](#): > > YOUR _PHONE_ IS RINGING!! SOMEBODY FIND MY _OWNER_!! I’M _RINGING_, AND LOOKING FOR MY _OWNER_!! It was, of course, on the loudest setting possible. In fact, here is a link to the actual ring tone (which you must hear to completely appreciate): (note: you will have to close your browser window, or at least hit the Back button to stop it or shut it off. It’s a flash audio file): [Obnoxious Ringtone (NSFC [cemeteries])](http://209.179.176.14/if/0000064509/00000_19723.swf) So, I pit the owner of that phone, and I hope the ambulance I saw stuck in traffic later that day was attempting to pick you up after the triple-whopper you just stuffed into your pie-hole got lodged in what was left of your obviously overworked esophagus. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/2 "2007-05-03T03:12:45Z")
I’m sure there’s a logical reason why you included that the woman was fat but I’m having a hard time finding a reasonable association. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/3 "2007-05-03T03:14:09Z")
Leaving aside the question of why this lady’s weight had anything to do with anything, for down that dark and twisting road lies no good end… Holy crap that’s disrespectful. Was she at least embarrassed about it? Did she sheepishly grab at the phone and turn it off? Or did she just rock on her heels and glance around like it wasn’t her? At least the former is defensible by mere stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/4 "2007-05-03T03:18:22Z")
I’m sure there’s a logical reason why you included that the lady was white but I’m having a hard time finding a reasonable association. (Not really, I’m just trying to head the dumbasses off at the pass. Don’t think it’ll work though. Good luck.) [sub]Perhaps you should have said “person” instead of “woman” too, but somehow I doubt that’ll catch any ire either.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/5 "2007-05-03T03:23:07Z")
What was that trainwreck of a thread where the OP mentioned weight and that’s what it devolved to? I think it had something to do with buying groceries but I’ll be damned if I can remember which thread. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/6 "2007-05-03T03:30:16Z")
There’s the [Obese woman ruins theater](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=354014) thread from a while back. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/7 "2007-05-03T03:37:01Z")
Like **Little Ninja** , I would also like to know what her reaction was. Did she hurry and turn it off, or grab it and gab away? People, (yes, even fat white ones) can forget and it doesn’t mean that they’re stupid. Sheesh. Now, if she grabbed it and started talking about Pearl’s granddaughters drug addled boyfriend or something, THEN I can see stupid, disrespectful etc… ---
**Author:** ![tofergregg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/8 "2007-05-03T04:28:52Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] Like **Little Ninja** , I would also like to know what her reaction was. Did she hurry and turn it off, or grab it and gab away? People, (yes, even fat white ones) can forget and it doesn’t mean that they’re stupid. Sheesh. Now, if she grabbed it and started talking about Pearl’s granddaughters drug addled boyfriend or something, THEN I can see stupid, disrespectful etc… [/QUOTE] Okay, okay – apologies about the obese part. Here was her reaction: she ignored it for the first time through the ring (or maybe she didn’t hear it, but everyone else around her certainly did). Then, she fished around in her pocket, pulled out the phone (making the ring even louder), and then shut it off. I didn’t notice if she looked at who called. She may have been a bit sheepish, but with a couple of hundred piercing eyeballs fixed on her, I don’t blame her for feeling humiliated. So she either forgot to turn the ring tone off, or didn’t think about it. Her full-volume ring tone was obnoxious enough that I would have been annoyed if I heard it anywhere (did you listen to it??). The fact that it played at one of the most solemn ceremonies I can imagine makes it particularly unseemly, regardless of whether or not she just forgot about it (did I mention that I think ringtones for cell phones should be automatically set for vibrate when in public?). So I’ll double-pit her: once for having a stupid, unpalatable ringtone that she keeps at full blast, and twice for letting it ring at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/9 "2007-05-03T04:39:48Z")
[QUOTE=tofergregg] Then, she fished around in her pocket, pulled out the phone (making the ring even louder), and then shut it off. [/QUOTE] So, basically, she forgot to turn it off and when she noticed it was ringing, she shut it off immediately. Yeah, there’s an idiot here… ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/10 "2007-05-03T04:45:46Z")
I gotta get me that for a ring tone. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/11 "2007-05-03T04:47:59Z")
So, in other words, she made a small mistake by not thinking to turn off her phone, and did her best to rectify it as soon as she realized, and you still find it necessary to scream insults about her. And btw, have you ever tried to hear a vibrating phone while it’s inside your purse? And while we’re at it, I think that’s a really annoying ringtone, too. (As much as I find the idea amusing.) I know somebody mentioned recently that you should never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity, but I think, too, that you should never attribute to stupidity what can be explained by simple mistake. It’s a whole lot easier to move through life without that knot in your knickers. I am sorry the moment was ruined, though. I’d hate that, too. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/12 "2007-05-03T04:54:16Z")
She deserves punishment for having such an obnoxious, annoying ring tone. I don’t care if it was the grocery store, that kind of shit just announces to the world that you don’t give a fuck about anything but yourself. There is so much rude cell phone behavior that it deserves its own thread. Hell, it’s probably already been pitted a million times, but it is always at the top of my pet peeve list. ---
**Author:** ![straykat23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@straykat23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straykat23)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/13 "2007-05-03T04:57:55Z")
Leaving aside the question of why a mention of the person’s gender had anything to do with anything, for down that dark and twisting road lies no good end… Crap. Forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/14 "2007-05-03T06:09:38Z")
Holy crap, that is an annoying ring tone! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/15 "2007-05-03T06:15:11Z")
Oh god that ringtone is hilarious. I’m almost crying! I mean…ahem… that sucks the moment was ruined. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/16 "2007-05-03T06:44:29Z")
[QUOTE=tofergregg] Okay, okay – apologies about the obese part. [/QUOTE] Now apologize for the white trash part, you fucking racist. Why do you feel the need to elevate yourself above your fellow humans? She was trash? You egotistical ass. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/17 "2007-05-03T07:03:47Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Now apologize for the white trash part, you fucking racist. Why do you feel the need to elevate yourself above your fellow humans? She was trash? You egotistical ass. [/QUOTE] Yeah… and why did he need to include the fact that the owner of the phone was **human** , huh? Like this couldn’t happen to any cell-phone-wielding life form…! :dubious: I’m going to agree with the OP – there are some situations where there is **no excuse** for leaving your cell-phone on. You enter a cemetery, for example, you make sure you’ve hit that little red button. Then you check **again**. Repeat as necessary. This may have been a mistake or just stupidity, but in this situation it is so egregious as to merit the pitting (minus all the other qualifying data, of course – race, gender, weight, species… ;)) YMMV ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/18 "2007-05-03T07:06:12Z")
Ever consider that she might have a hearing problem? Nice that you’re so absolutely perfect that you can afford to think yourself sublimely superior. I hope the next time you make a mistake your bile gets returned to you in spades. 'Cause, you know, karma will do that. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/19 "2007-05-03T07:10:00Z")
This happened two weeks ago, and you’re still this pissed off about it? ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2007, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/20 "2007-05-03T07:13:17Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] Ever consider that she might have a hearing problem? [/QUOTE] In that case, I’d say the phone should **definitely** be on “vibrate”, and somehow attached to the holder’s person so that they’ll feel it when it rings. It just makes more sense that way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573.md?page=2)