# To the obese woman whose cell phone rang at the tomb of the unknown soldier **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573 "2007-05-03T03:06:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/81 "2007-05-05T00:26:12Z")
Did you people ever consider that maybe, just maybe, this woman was the best neurosurgeon in the whole wide world and that was some emergency call? Do you people really want some little child to die because they couldn’t reach the best neurosurgeon in the whole wide world to do the brain surgery on time? Well, do you?? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/82 "2007-05-05T00:37:16Z")
[QUOTE=shamrock227] Did you people ever consider that maybe, just maybe, this woman was the best neurosurgeon in the whole wide world and that was some emergency call? Do you people really want some little child to die because they couldn’t reach the best neurosurgeon in the whole wide world to do the brain surgery on time? Well, do you?? [/QUOTE] Heh. Any neurosurgeon with THAT ringtone ain’t gonna be allowed into _my_ brain with a scalpel. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/83 "2007-05-05T01:00:51Z")
The big fat old white trash had reason To keep her phone ringing all season She had just one hope left Liver transplant or death Surely you’ll forgive her this treason ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/84 "2007-05-05T01:52:14Z")
[QUOTE=Martin Hyde] This doesn’t deserves a pass, learn to turn your fucking phone on vibrate. [/QUOTE] Nothing against you specifically Martin Hyde, but… For fuck’s sake people, vibrate is not silent. Sometimes in a purse or bookbag it is louder than a regular ring if is lying against something hard. Silence your fucking phone. And, yes, if your phone makes some noise as you turn it off, it is still making noise, and that is still your fault and I will still smash your phone between a door and its frame! (I know it is probably some neurological disorder or something, but electronic noises seem to make my adrenaline run, because after I’m finished fantasizing about throwing the cell phone/IPod against a wall, I find I really have to calm myself down.) (Oh and I can almost always hear your fucking IPod, every other person on the trains. And it is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Next time I bring scissors.) (Oh, and I know this is not mini-rants, and this has been a bit of a hijack, but I really needed to express this anger. Thank you. This will delay the time I will be put in jail for murdering someone with a walkie-talkie cell phone. I want to take these people’s wallets and max out their credit cards on charity websites.) ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/85 "2007-05-05T02:28:55Z")
Am I the only one who thinks “white trash” is racist…against black people? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/86 "2007-05-05T12:57:38Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Am I the only one who thinks “white trash” is racist…against black people? [/QUOTE] Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/87 "2007-05-05T13:55:53Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] Yes. [/QUOTE] Here, anyway. Outside of here, in places not devoted to spreading ignorance, there are people who grasp that it’s “white” trash because of the mentality that all blacks are trash and most whites are not. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/88 "2007-05-05T14:01:25Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Here, anyway. Outside of here, in places not devoted to spreading ignorance, there are people who grasp that it’s “white” trash because of the mentality that all blacks are trash and most whites are not. [/QUOTE] Are they loud? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/89 "2007-05-05T17:33:42Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Here, anyway. Outside of here, in places not devoted to spreading ignorance, there are people who grasp that it’s “white” trash because of the mentality that all blacks are trash and most whites are not. [/QUOTE] Stirring words, **EE**. Like you, I also have a dream that one day we will find an Internet message board where people are not judged by the color of their skin, but by the trashiness of their character. And God almighty, one that’s free at last (and not a subscription site). Best of luck in your search, my brother. You’ll be missed. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/90 "2007-05-05T17:58:08Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Am I the only one who thinks “white trash” is racist…against black people? [/QUOTE] Uh yeaaaah. White trash is racist against _blacks_, not whites, people. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/91 "2007-05-05T18:29:23Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Here, anyway. Outside of here, in places not devoted to spreading ignorance, there are people who grasp that it’s “white” trash because of the mentality that all blacks are trash and most whites are not. [/QUOTE] So if someone refers to a “lazy American” the Mexicans should be offended because everyone know that there is a mentality that all Mexicans are lazy? ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/92 "2007-05-05T18:41:32Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] So if someone refers to a “lazy American” the Mexicans should be offended because everyone know that there is a mentality that all Mexicans are lazy? [/QUOTE] It’s more like the way “male nurse” does \*not \* imply that most males are nurses or that most nurses are male. Sort of the opposite. I know that the term has become more widespread and nowdays the really racist connotation is lost on a lot of people. But once upon a time it was quite the \*redneck \* thing to say. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/93 "2007-05-05T19:13:46Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] White trash? That’s like those styrofoam take-home boxes that they give you at Claim Jumper when you can’t finish your sandwich, right? And then, since they put it in a plastic bag that doesn’t have a flat bottom, it goes all tilt-y when you try to bring it out to the car, and the gravy spills out over everything, and it’s just a big MESS when you get it home, so you have to throw it away anyway. [/QUOTE] -sigh- My Hero. 🙂 The checklist? 1. White : irrelevant. 2. Female: irrelevant. 3. Obese: irrelevant. By gum, you’ve scored a hat trick in the game of inarticulate bigotry. Now, I point out the female item because it was joined to the other two items. If I had to write this OP, clearly ( or maybe not so clearly ) I wouldn’t have gone through the politically correct gyrations of saying, " I was standing near a gender non-specific human creature the other day". Please. But, you decided to be awfully narrow about this. So, fuck ya. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/94 "2007-05-05T19:16:50Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] Am I the only one who thinks “white trash” is racist…against black people? [/QUOTE] No, you’re not. The white is used because of the convention that it is so unremarkable that a black person be trash that the skin color is not required when the impugned person is black. Like when I was young, you had to specify “female doctor” or “male nurse”, because simply saying doctor meant a man, and saying nurse meant a woman. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/95 "2007-05-05T21:38:23Z")
I would like to apologize to **Uncommon Sense** , **Contrapuntal** , et al, for some insensitive comments I may have once made Back in the day, I once described [Wayne Williams](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Williams) as “that fat, black, uneducated serial killer guy who lived with his mama”. I realize now the error of my ways. Neither his weight, his ethnicity, his lack of access to higher education, his gender, nor his perfectly valid attachment to his biological mother have any bearing on the person himself. If I were to start a thread about him, I would rightly be chastised in including these descriptors. But I plead with you for forgiveness. I have tried to correct my bigotry. I still may have a long way to go, however. It occurs to me that by using the term “biological mother”, I may have insulted adoptive mothers everywhere. I do not wish to do that, please forgive me, again. Adoption is a great institution that holds my upmost respect. As are step parents and non traditional type families. I also realize that I may have been rushing to judgement regarding Mr. Williams himself, for he may have been suffering from an undisclosed medical ailment. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/96 "2007-05-05T21:44:11Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Nah, I like ragging on you. It’s so easy and so deserved. Your issue with it, that the OP’s bile is reprehensible, is just idiotic. His bile is perfectly appropos and your scolding of him once again demonstrates your lack of understanding of the purpose of the Pit. Read the BBQ Pit sticky again, and get with the program or fuck off back to MPSIMS. [/QUOTE] Really, find yourself a hobby. It’s pitiful (and hypocritical) to criticize me for doing what half the thread is doing. All it means is you’ve got nothing better to do with your time. You might as well program > [@](#): > > and get with the program or fuck off back to MPSIMS as a hotkey, because apparently you plan to respond with it to me every time I post. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/97 "2007-05-05T22:20:43Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] (and hypocritical) [/QUOTE] I do not think that word means what you think it does. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/98 "2007-05-06T14:43:10Z")
" My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. " ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/99 "2007-05-06T15:04:01Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] I do not think that word means what you think it does. [/QUOTE] Oh piffle. 😛 If I wanna stretch it to mean what I want it to, I’m allowed 😃 'Twould be a bit much to accuse someone who pretends to be all outraged at one person over that person’s opinion about something but gives everybody else with the same opinion a pass of harassment. Yet, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2007, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573/100 "2007-05-06T15:21:46Z")
The outrage described in the OP would never have happened at the tomb of the unknown _sailor_, if there were such a thing, because the Navy, with its years of expertise in [ELF,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extremely_low_frequency) would have installed an on-site device that makes rigning cell phones emit a low-resonant frequency, causing the maelfactor to shit his or her pants. Of course, a sign on public property “Warning - cell phone use may cause spontaneous defecation _and abortion_.” would attract [Operation Rescue](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Rescue) to enforce the cellphone ban, which, along with the general public’s policing their own behavior, would leave the Tomb guards free to do what they’re there for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-obese-woman-whose-cell-phone-rang-at-the-tomb-of-the-unknown-soldier/402573.md?page=6)