# To the reading comprehension challenged Re: Scylla's thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419 "2005-04-02T17:30:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/142 "2005-04-04T23:55:40Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Ummmm, good point and all, but you forgot to mention that you’ve been published. I think _The Iliad_ and _Beowulf_ are still available. Well IIRC, **Ogre** once wrote a letter to Cat Fancy where he talked about how little Bobo likes to play with a tinfoil and string invention he calls “stringfoil”. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/143 "2005-04-04T23:56:38Z")
Genius is pain. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/144 "2005-04-05T00:18:15Z")
You know, if he wrote like an idiot (OMG! im so bumd! ☹ ), he’d get shot down. So he writes like an intelligent person–whether or not his prose is overblown, it’s at least fucking _intelligible_–and he…gets shot down. What gives? Sure there’s a middle ground, but there’s also a hell of a lot of ground that constitutes worse-than-purple prose. Someone who didn’t get the gists of it, or just didn’t like it had several choices: You can roll your eyes and sigh to yourself about how very much more intelligent you are than he is. You can snicker and move on, patting your own back for your incredible restraint at not absolutely vomiting on the screen. You could post something mildly encouraging without fawning. You could even, as I nearly did, post something like, “Scylla, really? Did you REALLY get lost, or are you being metaphorical? Because, you know, my brother really DID get lost in the woods once, and damn near never got out, and it was a real bitch. So, good luck either way.” (Call me literal, but that was very nearly the gist of my first post.) Writing something doesn’t, and probably shouldn’t, make everyone fair game, because we aren’t writing in a forum designed for literary critique. If everyone who keeps saying that really believed it, every post in the pit would be followed by nothing but complaints and bitching about misspellings and poor punctuation and badly constructed sentences. My God, I knew we’re all geniuses and published writers and all, but we don’t need a fucking symposium about writing skills every time we read a post. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/145 "2005-04-05T00:21:16Z")
_Arrrgh, could that **RedFury** be any more annoying? It’s not enough that he had to be a **total ass** to me in that thread about tort reform two years ago – now he’s posting his flowery MPSIMS shit in **my BBQ Pit**!!! He might as well have used smileys or flirting!!!_ _And look at all those stupid sheep lapping it up, giving him attention, as if he were the second coming! I can write better than that, and nobody pays any attention to me! He’s just like that bastard Doug Hoolihan who **totally robbed** the Most Popular title in the yearbook from me by going around telling everybody about my undescended testicle._ _That guy needs to get knocked down a peg, and I’m just the one to do it. I’d better open up a new guest account, so no one will know that it’s really me and hold it against me. It’s the only way to be safe from all those cowardly pussies who get so wrapped up in a message board. Nah, on second thought, fuck 'em. I may be a totally impotent shit in real life, forced to suffer petty grievance after petty grievance and filling with rage but unable to express it, but I’ll be **damned** if I let anyone tell me how to post on a message board I pay **good money** to use!!! God-damned fucking cunt **moderators**!!!_ > [@RedFury](#): > > So, I’m going through this really tough period right now…ever swim and swim in hopes of touching the horizon? Well, it’s not like that at all – ‘cause, you know, that would be pretty fuckin’ dumb thing to do. Have you ever fallen and felt like you couldn’t get up? Then you were probably doing a stupid commercial, because that’s not what I feel either. Has your chest ever tightened and your breath come in painful spurts? Get to a hospital, pronto, sounds serious. See, my angst is more on the existential side, best expressed by black turtleneck and color-coordinated beret, fag dangling from lips, rising smoke column giving me a perpetual squint – although I suspect cronic constipation might have something to do with that as well. > > What to do? Where to go from here? Do I really want to join the Puppetry of the Peni? So many questions, so little time, so much pain. > > Be gentle with your replies, please. I don’t think my tender Bohemian soul can take much more…OTOH, I am a man’s man, so bring it on, ya bunch of pussies! > > See what I mean? It’s all so damn difficult! Nice typing, faggot! _Now if only there were a way I could go around and get high-fives from my internet pals for posting such a witty comeback…_ ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/146 "2005-04-05T00:24:36Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#): > > Scylla needs to know his audience. **Not everyone here is his friend.** No, you have it backwards, we are not friends of Scylla. I only personally know two people in this message board. For all I know Scylla might not even exist, maybe he’s a figment of my imagination, but… I have enough common sense and humanity left in me to know that kicking even complete strangers on a when they are down is not kosher. Specially over a matter so petty as writing style. It has nothing to do with being friends. MG Still not a published author. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/147 "2005-04-05T00:29:34Z")
> [@SlyFrog](#): > > I actually understand exactly what Primaflora is saying. I’m not trying to give offense, but Scylla’s writing (at least in the controversial original post) really wasn’t good writing. It reminds me of what I thought was good writing, before I went to college. That if I wrote in over-the-top, cliched, florid prose, while avoiding the use of common words that are easily intelligible, it would somehow be impressive. Fine. That’s your opinion, seems well supported by your personal judgement if you ask me. > [@](#): > > Professionals who taught courses in clean and precise writing for a living tried to train that out of me for four years. They did not succeed, unfortunately. At the same time, Scylla’s writing honestly reminds me of a lot of their “bad writing” examples given to show what not to do when writing. I don’t need any professionals to tell me what quality writing is. I am capable of judging that for myself without any need for ratings from self-acclaimed experts. So now good writing must be clean and precise (however you define those terms)? Are you a published author? Do you have a red marker? > [@](#): > > Here I’m not trying to bash Scylla, I just think people are not being objective when they jump on those who say it is bad writing. As someone who has seen experts break down writing very similar to his, it is no different to me than an electrician telling someone he’s wired his circuit box the wrong way. You do not need to assume that it is simple jealousy. Of course they are not being objective. It hardly seems appropriate to go around attacking people because of their writing style when they are venting. Do you give literary critiques to every OP in the Pit, or just the ones you got a hard-on for? You’re free to do it and someone else is free to call you on it, unless they are breaking THE rule. I think it’s a worse offense to be a pompous ass. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/148 "2005-04-05T00:29:54Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Okay, Bippy, how the hell did you do that? Is this a speak-of-the-devil thing? > > Great user name, too; too bad it was doomed! I don’t know, think I must be Jinxed or something. The first time I ever do a Grapist joke and he/she/it surface from the depths. Still I thought the Purple Prose linked in nicely, and I was getting sick to the stomach with how much bad blood there seems to be on the straight dope these days so I threw in a stoopid joke. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/149 "2005-04-05T00:56:56Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Ummmm, good point and all, but you forgot to mention that you’ve been published. I think _The Iliad_ and _Beowulf_ are still available. All I have to say is, Whan that Aprill with his shoure soote, the droughte of March hath perced to the roote… > [@](#): > > Well IIRC, Ogre once wrote a letter to Cat Fancy where he talked about how little Bobo likes to play with a tinfoil and string invention he calls “stringfoil”. I’m _totally_ changing my contact email for this board from [schnoogywoogybobokitty@catfancy.com](mailto:schnoogywoogybobokitty@catfancy.com). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/150 "2005-04-05T01:08:21Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > \So now good writing must be clean and precise (however you define those terms)?\ Yeah, actually, it should be. > [@](#): > > Of course they are not being objective. It hardly seems appropriate to go around attacking people because of their writing style when they are venting. Do you give literary critiques to every OP in the Pit, or just the ones you got a hard-on for? You’re free to do it and someone else is free to call you on it, unless they are breaking THE rule. I think it’s a worse offense to be a pompous ass. My criticism of **Scylla’s** writing style was that I didn’t understand what he was getting at. I still think that’s a valid criticism for any kind of writing, from venting to ad copy. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/151 "2005-04-05T01:15:56Z")
> [@](#): > > **kung fu lola** : …it seemed in that thread that what he was saying wasn’t as important to him as how he was saying it. I don’t doubt that you honestly believe that to be true. But the important thing to remember is that we have no way of knowing what was going on in his mind as he wrote those words. Scylla is the only authority on his thoughts and motives. We just speculate. But would it be a negative thing if Scylla had tried to find some relief in expressing himself with carefully chosen words? No one would have criticized a blues musician for playing it out of his system or an artist for putting her anguish on canvas. I would expect that sometime later music and art critics and ordinary people might have a go at the results. But I just cen’t imagine anyone having their priorites so screwed up that they would say to the blues singer at the time, “Sorry your baby girl died, but that song really sucks, man.” ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/152 "2005-04-05T01:17:44Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Yeah, it’s weird. Apparently the ideas of just plain being kind to others and not being a jerk are matters of some dispute. This sentiment would be a hell of a lot easier to buy if we hadn’t witness both you and Lezlers act like total pricks to others in the past. I guess the ideas of just plain being kind to others and not being a jerk are matters of whether or not it is a person you like. You ain’t fooling anyone with your holier-than-thou bullshit so knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/153 "2005-04-05T01:23:47Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > This is the part where you show me any indication anywhere that I hate you, or find you laughable for anything other than that particular kind of florid prose… No. This is the part where I don’t really care about your motivations or reasons. Your actions are unprovoked and unreasonable. If you don’t like my style, you’re free not to read it. You’re also free to bitch at length about, but then I’m free to dismiss you with contempt. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/154 "2005-04-05T01:31:08Z")
Thanks **Debaser**. That was really very very nice of you. I’ll send the 50 bucks now, and next time try to be so obvious 😉 Seriously, I do appreciate that. I also appreciate the comparisons to James Joyce, and Sam Clemens. Even if it’s just “He’s no Sam Clemens,” It’s pretty cool to even be mentioned in the same sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/155 "2005-04-05T01:36:34Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > This sentiment would be a hell of a lot easier to buy if we hadn’t witness both you and Lezlers act like total pricks to others in the past. I guess the ideas of just plain being kind to others and not being a jerk are matters of whether or not it is a person you like. I don’t really know either of those posters, but I’m still left wondering what your point is. Are you saying that they’ve been convicted of assholery, and can no longer make a statement and have it judged on its own merits? ‘Cause if there’s an asshole court that can mete out such punishments, I got some cases I want on the docket. W. Still published _and_ sporting a huge cock ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/156 "2005-04-05T01:41:33Z")
> [@Waverly](#): > > W. > Still published _and_ sporting a huge cock Ooh, I’ve got a huge cock, too. I keep it in the top dresser drawer for when the hubby’s out of town. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/157 "2005-04-05T01:45:49Z")
> [@Waverly](#): > > I don’t really know either of those posters, but I’m still left wondering what your point is. Are you saying that they’ve been convicted of assholery, and can no longer make a statement and have it judged on its own merits? I am simply saying that it is hard to take their “let’s be nice like Jesus” comments seriously when they have been assholes to others in the past. I think the old cliche’ I am looking for is “practice what you preach”. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/158 "2005-04-05T01:52:43Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > But I just cen’t imagine anyone having their priorites so screwed up that they would say to the blues singer at the time, “Sorry your baby girl died, but that song really sucks, man.” Surely, I can’t be the only person in the world who hates _Tears in Heaven_? But seriously, I haven’t said anything against Scylla personally. You won’t find a single post of mine in the original trainwreck thread. I just read some stuff about this offboard and it made sense to me. I’ve been careful not to make this personal. I’d also ask you to bear in mind that everything I’ve said, would be my opinion no matter whose post I was criticizing. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/159 "2005-04-05T02:00:22Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > I am simply saying that it is hard to take their “let’s be nice like Jesus” comments seriously when they have been assholes to others in the past. I think the old cliche’ I am looking for is “practice what you preach”. Damn, I was really hoping for that asshole court thing. I’d like to see someone have to wear a scarlet sphincter. So, by your estimation they are hypocrites and should be dismissed, and this is based on what you interpret to be past transgressions that I must take on faith because no proof is given? Seems a bit harsh. What’s behind door number two? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/160 "2005-04-05T02:04:21Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > This sentiment would be a hell of a lot easier to buy if we hadn’t witness both you and Lezlers act like total pricks to others in the past. I guess the ideas of just plain being kind to others and not being a jerk are matters of whether or not it is a person you like. > > You ain’t fooling anyone with your holier-than-thou bullshit so knock it off. Ah, glad to see that all my accusations of embittered jack-asses nursing age-old grudges against strangers over the internet were totally off-base. I have to confess that I don’t know who the fuck you are, **Diane**. I can only assume that the alleged prickishness in question was either in my pissing contests with **gobear** or my run-in with **Demo** that was like a year ago. The former has been more than run into the ground already, and the latter was settled and forgotten by any offended parties long ago. So why don’t you tell me what else you got? Or better yet, why don’t you tell me why you didn’t bring it up with me then? Were you waiting for me to start a heartfelt confessional thread, so you could jump in and say “Ha-ha! Fuck you, loser!” Or is it that you don’t have anything substantive to say in defense of shitting on someone when it’s inappropriate, so instead you have to get all indignant and sputter “Well… well… _you_ can be an asshole too!!!” Perhaps you’re confusing being “nice” with being “kind.” Being “nice” means holding your tongue and talking sweetly to someone, even if you’re thinking she’s a total bitch. Being “kind” means giving people a break when it’s appropriate, and giving them hell when they’re legitimately fucking up. It has fuck-all to do with “a person you like,” because I’ve said several times the whole clique mentality is high school bullshit. I barely know who **Scylla** is anymore than I know who you are. But still, because I’m basically a kind person, I recognized that he was having a tough time and decided to cut him some slack and move on. And when people decided to dump on him for stupid, petty reasons, I decided not to be nice to them. That distinction make any sense to you? Apparently, my “holier-than-thou” routine isn’t bullshit. I really am better than you. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419/161 "2005-04-05T02:09:31Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#): > > Scylla needs to know his audience. **Not everyone here is his friend.** I don’t have a **personal** grudge against **Scylla**. In fact, I’ve taken his side a couple times here on the board. But generally, I don’t like him. Not because of his writing style, but because of the content of many of his posts. What I see is a pretentious snob and a bully. Not a bully here on the boards, but what else am I to make of someone who brags about how, IRL, he punked his wife by ignoring her when she was begging him to acknowledge her, punked her again by tricking her into thinking she wouldn’t get the car she’d ordered, and punked his family by getting them to touch the electric fence against their better judgement? I didn’t get that the “promises to keep” OP was a cry for help, or whatever it was, until the responses prompted me to read it again. When I did reread it, I reacted according to Chris Rock’s line about a homeless person with a funny sign: a real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. Likewise, someone who’s really hurting is too distraught to be all philosophical and shit. It seemed to me that **Scylla** is on an upswing right now, having dealt with much of whatever he was obliquely referring to in his OP. And that’s great, but if he’s getting better, does he really need so much sympathy **now**? I don’t wish him ill, but my reaction to his OP was basically :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-reading-comprehension-challenged-re-scyllas-thread/297419.md?page=9)