# To the Rectal Cavity Manager at the Open Mic Show **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 15, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522 "2003-03-15T03:53:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/21 "2003-03-16T19:52:00Z")
How could you have a show without “Free Bird”? ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/22 "2003-03-16T20:02:22Z")
I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who has to manage a rectal cavity- especially one with an open mic night. The acoustics must be challenging. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/23 "2003-03-16T20:30:44Z")
An open mic would explain some of the extra-loud ones… ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/24 "2003-03-16T23:11:39Z")
To all of you who presume that I impose myself on other performers by jumping onstage with them I give you this: …/´¯/) …,/¯…/ …/…/ …/´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸ …/’/…/…/…/¨¯\ …(’(…´…´… ¯~/’…’) …’…/ … \_.·´ …( … . Who the fuck are you **assholes** to make such an assumption? Do any of you play a musical instrument, much less perform publicly? Are any of you roadies or operators of a sound board? Do any of you have the least glimmering of an idea firing in your soon-to-be-excreted last lonely neuron of just how fucking rude such a thing is? And if you do, what the fuck gives you the right to imply that I would be so lacking in manners as you obviously are to presume it? **JavaMaven1** , I thought that after all of our chats you would have known me better but I am obviously mistaken. It grieves me to lump you in with the rest of these moron assholes but I am simply astounded by such rudeness. The caliber of my work is sufficient whereby other performers **ask** me to play music with them. My professionalism is such that management has **asked** me to emcee the events. Management has properly insisted that one of their own employees climb the ladder to plug in the power cord to limit their liability. Management has **always** made employee help available to me. I prefer to take personal responsibility for everything being set up correctly in order to limit any risk of damage to their equipment or my own. It seems like **Zette** is one of the only people here with any professional music experience. Please note how she is in no way surprised with the amount of work it takes to put on even a small open microphone show. Music production is a grueling enterprise and those of you who think its a simple matter to stage any sort of professional grade event have shit for brains. ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/25 "2003-03-17T00:17:18Z")
You know, i TOTALLY agree! I was so pissed off the other day at the horse ranch when despite my providing services for free, they wouldn’t get me a dappled pony to ride, so i could search for shells when the waters parted at the shore. Those fucks owe me, especially after all the apples i provided for the dappled ponies they have! ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/26 "2003-03-17T00:22:46Z")
You know, I didn’t want to get personal, **Zenster** , but since you’ve seen it fit to lump me in with all the ‘assholes,’ here goes: In the thread you started in regards to your return, you said > [@](#): > > I find it curious that people whom I had only a little interaction with proved to be those most interested in what happened to me. You want to know why? Because those who have had more interaction with you have learned that you are a pushy, pompous blowhard. _That’s why I questioned you._ It’s not something I’d put past you. You’ve shown your true colors. Especially when you seem fit to think I have shit for brains for questioning how you do things. You can fuck off for all I care. Don’t ever bring up my name again. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/27 "2003-03-17T00:51:36Z")
Umm, **Zenster**? Decaf tastes _just like_ regular. ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/28 "2003-03-17T01:11:38Z")
So **Zenster** , thinking that you’re in the wrong is instantly attributable to having shit for brains? It must be a lonely life, being right all the time. You provided a volunteer service, and then expected remuneration without it having been agreed to or offered beforehand. I realize you feel unappreciated by the bookstore manager, and maybe you think you deserve more as a “professional.” In which case, be a damn professional and lay out your demands ahead of time. What kind of professional does a (pro bono) job, then only afterwards asks for compensation? Take your show out to the sidewalk, where I’m sure someone will be kind enough to toss you a sandwich. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/29 "2003-03-17T01:24:12Z")
Hey **Zenster** , I bet your standup routine is a riot! I can see it now. Zenster at his little stage, crapping on with highbrow jokes about food etc, when he notices that the audience in the coffee shop are not actually listening, and are having thier own conversations, and (shock horror) reading books! “Not laughing at my jokes, eh? Well fuck you, you ignoramii! I won’t put up with you pitiful peons, presuming to pooh-pooh my piquant patter” (I can see him with a voice like Dr Smith from Lost in Space for some reason). -Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/30 "2003-03-17T02:01:05Z")
I’m simply astonished at the number of assholes in this thread. I mean, Jesus! No, the manager isn’t under any sort of obligation to give **Zenster** jack-shit. Unless you count, y’know, simple human decency. He’s not asking for a goddam salary, he’s asking for _one fucking sandwich!_ **JavaMaven** , **Juniper** , and the rest of you jackals, I guess if anyone ever helps you out without clearly establishing some sort of _quid pro quo_ before hand, you feel justified in screwing them over for whatever nickle and dime crap comes up afterward? “Hey, thanks for helping me move, guys. Oh, here’s a bill for all the beer you drank while helping me move my 'fridge. Cash only, please!” Fucking disgusting, the lot of you. **Zenster** , it absolutely sucks to not have your work appreciated, both in the club and here in this thread. With your skills and dedication, I’m sure you can either find another store that will actually appreciate you helping out, or get the dickhead manager to loosen his sphincter up enough to give you a lousy sammich. Whichever, you probably should get an agreement for a few perks worked out ahead of time from now on. As you can clearly see from this thread, it’s too much to hope that people will act like decent human beings on their own iniative. [sub]Loved the middle finger, btw. Did you do that yourself, or get it from someplace on the 'net?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/31 "2003-03-17T02:45:47Z")
**Miller** , kindly blow it out your ass. You really think that my response to this thread would actually be my response in the real world in the same situation? Ok, if I was the manager of this bookstore, and I saw **Zenster** busting his ass every Open Mic Night; using his own equipment; treating all the other performers, employees, and customers respectfully and otherwise adding and enhancing to the business of the store, then I certainly would give him a little something. A sandwich, maybe a $10 gift certificate to the store, whatever, as long as he was nice and respectful about it. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I’m generous to a fault, and that I give credit (and rewards) when deserved. But. BUT. You see, my point originally was that the manager of that bookstore is in **no way obligated** to give him anything. It’s Open Mic Night. It’s voluntary. The only compensation that the performers get from it is the chance to showcase their talent and getting out in front of others to perform. I’ve worked in roughly the same situation, setting up sound and running an Open Mic Poetry & Jam Night at a coffeehouse that I was a regular at during my college years. If I was lucky, I’d get a free cup of coffee–but that didn’t matter. I what mattered is that I always had a great time and made friends. But, obviously, what matters to me and what matters to **Zenster** are two different things. ---
**Author:** ![Baglady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Baglady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baglady)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/32 "2003-03-17T02:47:36Z")
\*How could you have a show without “Free Bird”? \* …I thought it was “Stairway to Heaven.” ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/33 "2003-03-17T03:04:20Z")
**Zenster** , First of all, as always, I adore you. Secondly, do the pro bono stuff only for the health of your soul, not for the sandwich. Yes, morally, for their own souls, they should probably toss you the ham&swiss and be done with it. But if they are choosing not to, its not something wrong with you. (Perhaps your expectations, but we all overestimate people at one time or another) Give of yourself for your own happiness. If it makes you happy to know that a truly kick ass open mic night goes on because of your gifts, then do it. If it is going to become a sore in your life, walk away from it. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/34 "2003-03-17T03:17:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*Give of yourself for your own happiness. … If it is going to become a sore in your life, walk away from it. \*\* Good advice … just know that not everything is the Zenster Show. That’s as diplomatic as I can manage right now. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/35 "2003-03-17T03:19:32Z")
I just don’t know why people always assume that, because a price **seems** high to them, the customer, that the management is committing highway robbery. It’s called **overhead**. They opened the cafe to entice customers. Many customers use it to just sit and read, and justify their presence by ordering the cheapest beverages and nursing them. Management has to set the prices so that when people do order something other than juice, it somewhat defrays the expense of keeping the cafe open. The “rectal cavity” didn’t make the rules; it’s been like that for a long time. Four dollars means just as much to him as it does to **Zenster**. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/36 "2003-03-17T03:58:10Z")
**Zenster** , I actually was an audio engineer for awhile. I did both radio spot production and live and studio music stuff, so I do know a little bit about that part, and that sometimes it’s just better to go with what’s available (especially in the “Amatuer Night” setting you described) in the interest of saving set-up time and angst. If you want a better set-up and less grief, then maybe you could, as other posters suggested, find a venue more agreeable to your wants and needs. As far as some of the posters to this thread assuming that you “imposed” yourself on other performers by accompanying them with out their permission, it may be because the tone of your rant was more pompous than angry. Just a thought, Dude. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/37 "2003-03-17T05:58:32Z")
My question is why, if four dollars is such a lowly sum, can’t you buy your own sandwich? One would presume you’re doing this for your own enjoyment, why taint the experience by being greedy? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/38 "2003-03-17T06:54:31Z")
… 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 :mad: 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 😉 😉 😉 |:) 🙂 🙂 |;) 😉 😉 |;) 😉 😉 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 :mad: 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 |:) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 . 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 … 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/39 "2003-03-17T07:16:52Z")
You both should use the code tags. That way you can flip us off in fixed width. FTR, I wasn’t trying to be mean. If you’re doing something that has value and you’re not getting compensated, either you’re doing it because you enjoy it (in which case there’s no need to complain) or you’re losing and someone else is winning. Upon re-reading of the thread, I have a question about this part: > [@](#): > > The amount of time and labor that I freed up for them was nearly an order of magnitude (do you know what that means?) greater in worth than the employee time previously consumed doing it themselves. The amount of time you freed up for them is exactly equal to the amount of time it took for them to do it themselves, isn’t it? Or are you using “freed” in some fucked up form meaning “To give away” rather than “To relieve of a burden, obligation, or restraint”. In that case it might be better re-stated as “The amount of time and labor that I freely gave them was nearly an order of magnitude (do you know what that means?) greater in worth than the employee time previously consumed doing it themselves.” If that’s what you meant, then **Creaky** ’s comment about being pompous is correct. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522/40 "2003-03-17T09:03:34Z")
**Miller** , thank you for being one of the few to understand things. Where I come from, when someone provides a lot of reliable support on a project, I make sure they get something out of it. I’m not uncomfortable with having anyone do me a favor, quite to the contrary. But when someone goes out of their way to make major contributions to something I’m involved in, I do my very best to let them know it’s appreciated. I’ve always thought that was just plain common courtesy and nothing else. It seems like decency takes a back seat these days, even right here in this thread. I refuse to participate in such a disgusting trend. By the way, the finger image came off of the net, feel free to use it. **Medea’s Child** , thanks for your good advice. I’m glad to say that it is already well heeded. I love music, it is a major part of my life and always will be. Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of people asking me when my CD is coming out, so I know that my efforts are appreciated and of some quality. I’d like to clarify. I don’t expect them to give me a sandwich. They are totally within their rights to give me doodly-squat. Just as I am within my rights to not contribute my work to their events. At the same time, I have a difficulty seeing where it’s such a big deal to comp a lousy sandwich. If I was the manager, I’d make sure to do so. Good work should always be recognized. If I wanted to get all pissy about it, I could cite the fact that they now have me emceeing the whole two hour show. I don’t need to because the general principle of the matter stands on it’s own merit. **Ender24** , nice to see someone keeping my smiley art alive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-rectal-cavity-manager-at-the-open-mic-show/161522.md?page=3)