# To the stupid jerk at the airport bar **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 10, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273 "2010-09-10T07:03:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/61 "2010-09-11T12:09:41Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers. Quick - tell me everything that’s happened so far. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/62 "2010-09-11T13:07:56Z")
Who is going to provide the random jiggling tits to make this a true Airplane! thread? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/63 "2010-09-11T13:53:47Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers. **The Other Jeffrey Lebowski** , listen, and you listen close: posting a BBQ thread is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/64 "2010-09-11T14:13:24Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > > [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > > > Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers. > > Quick - tell me everything that’s happened so far. Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/65 "2010-09-11T14:35:24Z")
Psst–it’s speed _bumps_, not speed _humps_. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/66 "2010-09-11T15:12:45Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Psst–it’s speed _bumps_, not speed _humps_. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky. Speed humps and speed bumps are two different, although related, things. (Unless this is also an Airplane! reference I’m missing.) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/67 "2010-09-11T15:14:40Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Who is going to provide the random jiggling tits to make this a true Airplane! thread? Oh, well, if you insist. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/68 "2010-09-11T16:00:12Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I can’t make heads or tails out of the OP. Does anybody here speak jive? [Here you go!](http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/) > [@](#): > > **To de stupid jerk at da damn airpo’t bar** > > I’m at LAX, early fo’ mah’ red eye, so’s I grab some bea’ near mah’ gate. De unfo’tunate doodad fo’ me wuz dat ah’ wuz two seats away fum Mr loudmoud, who’s goin’ on and on about how politics hav lost deir deco’um, dat when Kingfish and Tip O’Neill wuz in deir seats uh power, dey had mutual respect, and dat, well, doodads wuz plum betta’ den. ‘S coo’, bro. Do ya’ know when it all went baaaad, he ax’s, quite audibly, when politics wuzn’t respectful? He says dat it wuz Clintons use uh de phrase, it’s de economy, stupid. Hmmm. WORD! Maybe ah’ should’ve simply igno’ed him, but ah’ couldn’t resist. Man! ah’ interjected dat da damn phrase wuz self referencin’, dat he wuz remindin’ himself whut t’focus on durin’ de campaign. ‘S coo’, bro. Well he couldn’t recon’ dat some sucka would doubt him, and dat ah’ wuz de fust sucka’ dat came down wid dat deo’y t’him in de nearly 20 years since da damn phrase became part uh de culture. I also pointed out dat da damn Willy Ho’ton ad mightve been plum a bit mo’e disrespectful uh a gesture. Of course he dun didn’t rememba’ de ad. Yeah right. Man! Jerk. Ya’ know? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/69 "2010-09-11T16:06:59Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Psst–it’s speed _bumps_, not speed _humps_. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky. I will go take a picture of the street sign that inspired my title and post it here if you like. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/70 "2010-09-11T20:19:23Z")
There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/71 "2010-09-11T22:14:15Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers. He was eight years old, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/72 "2010-09-12T01:01:14Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread? I’m going to have to go with, “No.” 😃 🆒 😛 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/73 "2010-09-12T03:30:09Z")
I just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/74 "2010-09-12T03:59:07Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > > > There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread? > > I’m going to have to go with, “No.” > 😃 > 🆒 > 😛 > 🙂 Well, that’s just great. Looks like the shit’s about to hit the fan. _\_ ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/75 "2010-09-12T04:03:12Z")
excuse me, which way is the rest room? ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/76 "2010-09-12T04:11:28Z")
To say that this thread has become derailed would suggest that it’s off course. … “Two more minutes? They could be miles off course.” "That’s impossible. They’re [on instruments](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEywGpIt0vw). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/77 "2010-09-12T04:58:33Z")
I haven’t felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/78 "2010-09-12T13:33:18Z")
No dice, Chicago. I’m giving the orders and we’re coming in. I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it Kramer? ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/79 "2010-09-12T14:22:51Z")
Goodness gracious great balls of HEEEEEEEEY LAAAAAAAADDDYYYY! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273/80 "2010-09-12T17:08:07Z")
You say you met him in a bar? Did he appear to have a drinking problem? How long has he had it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-stupid-jerk-at-the-airport-bar/553273.md?page=5)