# To the wackjob at the Girl Scout Cookie sale **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 29, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348 "2012-02-29T15:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/41 "2012-02-29T17:59:14Z")
Missed the Edit window: or a _l’esprit de l’escalier_-O-Mat, in deference to **VT**. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/42 "2012-02-29T18:15:10Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > This is just another example of how Republicans are making them elves look like assholes I understand them elves are getting annoyed by it, too. Well, that and the whole Mordor thing. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/43 "2012-02-29T18:17:47Z")
If I were working that booth the Girl Scouts would have gotten a shot at earning their first aid badges. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/44 "2012-02-29T18:23:37Z")
One does not santorum into Mordor. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/45 "2012-02-29T18:50:06Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nitpick: the cookies are called “Tagalongs.” “Tagalog” is the language spoken by the people who bake them. (You picked up on that a lot faster than I’d expected anyone to.) ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/46 "2012-02-29T19:03:52Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > You mean the GGGUSA, amirite? > > This is just another example of how Republicans are making them elves look like assholes by looking for culture wars to engage in. It would be depressing if it weren’t so funny. Well, to be fair, those Keebler guys ARE annoying ;). ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/47 "2012-02-29T19:06:58Z")
I just now thought of another awesome response: smartphone video capture, post to YouTube, and send the link to Rachel Maddow. So almost 24 hours after the event and now I get ideas. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/48 "2012-02-29T19:12:52Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > No, what I think **bup** meant by “rant fail” was that the OP didn’t **address** the OP to the object of the OP’s wrath in the second person, if you see what I mean. > > According to the conventions of the “To the…:” rant genre, **Mama Zappa** shoulda launched into her OP with something along the lines of _“Listen, you fetid snot-crusted crazy old loon, where the FUCK did you get the idea that it was okay to give my Scouts a lecture on the GSUSA ‘homosexual agenda’…”_ > > Instead, she gave us all a rationally narrated description of the incident that was distressingly lacking in profanity. Thank you. When you claim you’re going to apostrophize, you should do it, damn it! There are certain conventions that need to be respected, or all we’re left with is chaos. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/49 "2012-02-29T19:14:19Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I suspect that it’s been several years since **Tapioca Dextrin** bought cookies. I’m pretty sure it was this January. I distinctly remeber the Dolphins beating the Redskins in the Superbowl. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/50 "2012-02-29T19:14:29Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Sure, I do! All you never wanted to know about paper towel tubes can be found somehwere in the 894,203 pages of [It’s time to officially Pit Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=630580). Getting into the specifics in this thread is liable to get the participants pelted with stale Tagalongs by Tagalog-talking troglodytes. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/51 "2012-02-29T19:16:02Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’ll balance yours with mine. > > We aren’t doing a booth this year. Our sales last year weren’t really profitable enough. Cookie season in Minnesota is COLD. And we were in a grocery store, in cold cold weather. They let us inside, in the cart area, but it was still cold. > > We sold cookies. We sold cookies to people who didn’t want cookies (and dropped them into the grocery’s food shelf collection bin. We got a few direct donations. As each person walked in, we had the girls accost them (nicely and once) with “would you like to buy some cookies.” > > About halfway through the evening a man walks in…in a short skirt, knee high boots, and a low cut leapord print top (well filled out by what I assume where prosthetic). And outfit more appropriate for a 45 year old Vegas hooker than a man picking up groceries on a COLD March day. But we have asked EVERYONE if they would like to buy some cookies, so rather than looking at my girls and say “avert your eyes, girls!” (the girls were speechless), I said “would you like to buy some cookies?” > > I think he was shocked. He came over, bought four boxes, and invited the staring girls to ask questions, which they did, and he answered very politely. He took his boxes, went into the grocery store, and of course, the girls fell over themselves giggling. > > But I did my Girl Scout Leader Sworn Duty to further the agenda of acceptance. I do like your sig with this post: “One day, in Teletubbie land, it was Tinkie Winkie’s turn to wear the skirt.” I do have to wonder what the questions were, though. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/52 "2012-02-29T19:19:02Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Thank you. When you claim you’re going to apostrophize, you should do it, damn it! There are certain conventions that need to be respected, or all we’re left with is chaos. Very calm, rational chaos. The worst kind. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/53 "2012-02-29T19:27:12Z")
Well, why not? It’s a very rational game, and best played in conditions of calm. Wait, did you say _chaos_ or _chess_? Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/54 "2012-02-29T19:32:43Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nitpick: the cookies are called “Tagalongs.” “Tagalog” is the language spoken by the people who bake them. And “Samoan” for the people that bake “Samoas”? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/55 "2012-02-29T19:55:51Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > You mean the GGGUSA, amirite? > > This is just another example of how Republicans are making them elves look like assholes by looking for culture wars to engage in. It would be depressing if it weren’t so funny. Yep. Them elves are just bad people. It’s the pointy ears, I tells ya. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/56 "2012-02-29T19:56:29Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I do like your sig with this post: “One day, in Teletubbie land, it was Tinkie Winkie’s turn to wear the skirt.” > > I do have to wonder what the questions were, though. One of my girls, who has seen her share of strangeness - though not this, and is bright, straightforward, and mature beyond her years (her life has been difficult) - simply asked “why” - he said he liked to dress like that, and that it made him comfortable. She followed up with “do you like boys” and he explained that no, cross dressing and homosexuality were two different things and that he was a cross dresser who liked woman. She responded (in a way you really only can if you are a bright, sarcastic fifth grader) “bet you don’t get many dates.” And he LAUGHED. I thanked him for the sale and for his openness with the girls and it was over. Except for the giggling. The other girls were far to shy to do much other than gape openmouthed, which I gently corrected them on, which is when he said it was ok, he knew it was unusual, and asked if they had any questions. The quote has more to do with the economics of Teletubbie-land than the gender identity questions that danced through that show like guests at a John Waters party. If the right thinks Sesame Street is a hotbed of liberal ideas, I hope they never see Teletubbies, their brains might explode. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/57 "2012-02-29T20:09:38Z")
Maybe the guy was just confused because the Girl Scouts wear sensible shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/58 "2012-02-29T20:13:09Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > I’m pretty sure it was this January. I distinctly remeber the Dolphins beating the Redskins in the Superbowl. Different councils sell different cookies for different amounts of money. Councils are regional. Here in this part of Minnesota (the Twin Cities, slightly North of there, all the South), plus two counties in Iowa and part of Western Wisconsin, cookies sell for $3.50 a box, of which the baker gets less than a 1, the troop gets .55-60 and the council gets the rest. The council uses their part of the proceeds to basically run Girl Scouts - troops in poorer neighborhoods are subsidized, grants are given for camps, camps are offered at less than cost, plus the paid staff, facilities, etc. And of course, the costs of running the cookie sale itself - distribution, staffing cookie cupboards, surplus cookies (which they buy from the baker and donate to charities). Oh, and the ever popular sales incentives to the girls. A very small amount per box goes to our “Service Unit” which is about 100 troops that cover all or parts of four suburbs. The troop uses its proceeds to do things with the girls. We are doing two things with our money - we’ve been saving for a “big trip” and I think the girls have picked Washington DC (I think I’ll end up subsidizing that from my own pocket, I’ve done that a lot, I don’t have the most economically advantaged troop - and I’d rather the council used their money to help girls that don’t have me for an angel), and buying fleece to make lap blankets for the memory loss home we’ve been working with since we were Brownies. Some troops use all their money to go to Build a Bear, if you care, ask your Girl Scout and respond appropriately. You don’t need to lecture her, or tell her about evil lesbians, but troops are encouraged to set aside some of their cookie money for service projects for that reason. Girl Scouts is supposed to be about character building…I’m not sure how much character you build at Build a Bear, but that’s my soapbox. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/59 "2012-02-29T20:19:37Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The quote has more to do with the economics of Teletubbie-land than the gender identity questions that danced through that show like guests at a John Waters party. If the right thinks Sesame Street is a hotbed of liberal ideas, I hope they never see Teletubbies, their brains might explode. Boom! [Falwell and the Teletubbies.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/276677.stm) ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348/60 "2012-02-29T20:20:12Z")
I remember that thread too! I don’t like their cookies, so I just give money. But that thread taught me to ask, what they do with their discretionary funds, before purchasing. It’s not like there is only one vendor, where I live. I love when I learn something awesome from the Dope! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-wackjob-at-the-girl-scout-cookie-sale/614348.md?page=4)