# To the woman who had her 9 year old son in the ladies' change room at the Y **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747 "2003-01-10T15:18:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/21 "2003-01-10T16:57:01Z")
Tell him it’s possible to look at boobies _on the computer_. It’s the best of both worlds! Man I wish we had the net when I was nine. I’d have never left my room. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/22 "2003-01-10T16:59:19Z")
Hooray for family restrooms! When my older daughter was young, it was always a pain taking her somehere by myself in the event she needed to go to a bathroom. I’d have to send her in alone (hated it) or ask some friendly-looking stranger to escort her. As far os the OP - you should have spoken up - but I can understand your reluctance. It can even get weird with a boy in the men’s room - they don’t always understand about not staring at the guy’s \*\*\*\* when he’s next to you at the urinal. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/23 "2003-01-10T17:03:49Z")
But **Jonathan**! That would cut into his computer gaming time! If he didn’t currently have a large battle staged all over my living room floor and bookshelves with all his (445!) army men and all their props and equipment, I would go ahead and buy him the official geek pocket protector or whatever is considered the badge of Geek-hood these days. His sister is more intrested in looking at boobies than he is. Maybe I should talk to his therapist about this… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/24 "2003-01-10T17:16:44Z")
Not every boy (or every girl, for that matter) who is old enough to feel “oogy in the tummy”, feels that way about the _opposite_ sex. A gay boy in puberty might feel more uncomfortable or excited or what have you in a locker room with naked men than with women. It seems to me that what might be appropriate with children that age is something like a private booth, with a parent or guardian standing guard just outside the door in a naked-free zone. I’m not familiar with “family rooms”, but is that what they are like? ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/25 "2003-01-10T18:19:03Z")
Reminds me of an old joke: - Mommy, I don’t want to go to school today. - I’m sorry, but you _have_ to go. - But I really don’t want to go. Why do I have to go? Tell me why. Give me three good reasons why I should go. - Well, first, because I am your mother and I am telling you that you have to go. Second, because you can’t just stay in bed all day. And third because you are 43 years old and you are the freaking teacher and the kids are waiting for you! ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/26 "2003-01-10T18:21:25Z")
And, yes, I liked looking at boobies when I was a kid and I grew to be a dirty old man by the time I was in my late teens. I was very precocious. I was a very young dirty old man. ---
**Author:** ![Igloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Igloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Igloo)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/27 "2003-01-10T18:34:20Z")
So I am just reading reading reading and then, Whoa! **Jarbaby** wants to goo not only the locker room, but the _family_ locker room. Having read many of her posts, I realized her yearning for the ability to “goo” was somewhat more crudely put than is usual. I laughed all the way until her follow-up clarification post. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/28 "2003-01-10T18:39:57Z")
Get over yourself. The 9 yo doesn’t care about your boobs or your nether-regions as much as you do. Can’t you just change and not bother other people? Your hang-ups are your own, not his. Christ almighty, it’s 2003 already and this woman is ranting about a little boy who might see her precious boobs. There are 6 billion boobs on the planet, but maybe your two are special. I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/29 "2003-01-10T18:52:30Z")
As someone who has spent time on nude beaches and lots of places around the world where nudity is accepted, I don’t really care who’s in the locker room, or how old they are. Excluding pervs of course. But I also think you should stick with what’s considered appropriate where you happen to be, so I agree the kids shouldn’t have been there. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/30 "2003-01-10T19:13:13Z")
Ya know **zuma** , if you wanna walk around with yer dick tied up in nothing but a bandana, or yer boobs flapping in the breeze, be my guest. But yer snotty, holier than thou, “Your boobs aren’t special.” comment is really, really obnoxious. If **Featherlou** or **Jarbabyj** or I feel uncomfortable with a 9 year old checking out the goods, that is our perogative and your comments are ignorant and rude. A family changing room was provided. The woman should have used it, or made other arrangements. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/31 "2003-01-10T19:17:18Z")
**vanilla** : > [@](#): > > I understand your concern. > However, i doubt 9 year old boys want to look at boobies. **zuma** : > [@](#): > > Get over yourself. The 9 yo doesn’t care about your boobs or your nether-regions as much as you do. [9 year old mode] Silly grownups. I don’t care about looking at old-lady people like you, but it sure is fun checking out Susie, the 10 year old from across the street, while she comes back from the showers. Mmm! This is better than when I pretended to drop my pencil and got to look up her skirt while picking it up off the floor! [/9 year old mode] ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/32 "2003-01-10T19:30:49Z")
Funny, when I opened this thread I was expected to see a story about a mom who delivered her baby in the changing room after a really, _really_ overdue pregnancy. I need a weekend. Badly. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/33 "2003-01-10T19:45:04Z")
Lib, This is the situation at our community center/pool. There is a family locker room. The main space is probably about 15x20 - one bench surrounded by lockers. There is one restroom at the end, with a regular toilet and a toddler toilet (not in stalls) and a single sink. No counter. The restroom has a door. There are four stalls - like bathroom stalls, only deeper. About as wide as a handicapped bathroom stall, they have a shower (with a shower curtain) in the far end, then a four foot bench with hooks over the top. There is enough room for my family of four (hubby, me and two preschoolers) to get dressed, but it isn’t comfortable and we usually take shifts. There is no place in the locker room at all suitable to give a child a diaper change. This works ok when there are three or four families in the locker room. However, when swimming classes are being held, there are often eight or ten families trying to use this small space. Because it is over used - and used extensively by families with kids little enough to pee on the floor, it is usually really dirty - having been designed for probably half the traffic it gets. The women’s locker room is probably six to eight times larger. It has a large communal shower area (ten shower heads), as well as two more private showers with curtains and dressing areas. It has eight toilet stalls, plenty of counter space, hairdryers, and one of those machines to rinse out your swimsuit. I’ve never seen more than ten individuals in there at the same time. Being underused, it is pretty clean. I’ll be using it during swim lesson time as long as I can get away with it (I promise I’ll be out before my kid turns nine). I use the family locker room when swim lessons aren’t happening (and therefore there are fewer families at the pool). This is one of those cases where they simply underestimated the use the family locker room would get and under built the darn thing. Unfortunately, there really isn’t any way to correct the error. ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/34 "2003-01-10T20:00:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Ya know **zuma** , if you wanna walk around with yer dick tied up in nothing but a bandana, or yer boobs flapping in the breeze, be my guest. > > But yer snotty, holier than thou, “Your boobs aren’t special.” comment is really, really obnoxious. > \*\* I didn’t mean for it to be obnoxious. And I seriously doubt a nine year old would give a rat’s ass about my dick. Nor would I expect him to. The nine year old in question would, I imagine, find this thread entirely sllly. Most nine year olds I know do not care about penises or breasts “flapping in the wind”. I just suggested that the OP get over her own breasts and get on with life. If her breasts ARE really special, I invite her to to explain why. ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/35 "2003-01-10T20:14:26Z")
Just my 2 cents- A 9 year old boy is too old to be in the female changing area. A 9 year old boy is too young to be in the male changing area. The family changing area is the proper place, and she should be told as such. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/36 "2003-01-10T20:59:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > If he didn’t currently have a large battle staged all over my living room floor and bookshelves with all his (445!) army men and all their props and equipment, I would go ahead and buy him the official geek pocket protector or whatever is considered the badge of Geek-hood these days. No, it’s much, _much_ worse than ordinarly geekhood. . . Your son may be a _wargamer_! :eek: But seriously, folks, kids mature at different rates, and every kid is raised differently and has a different personality. It’s bullshit to say that _some_ nine-year-olds, or even _most_ nine-year-olds don’t want to look at boobies, so you shouldn’t be worried about _any_ nine-year-old staring at you while you’re naked. Nine’s old enough to make people uncomfortable, definitely, and the kid’s mother should be considerate of that, even if the kid isn’t remotely interested. (That’s aimed at mostly at **zuma** , BTW, not **Arden Ranger.** ) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/37 "2003-01-10T21:06:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zuma \* > \*\* Most nine year olds I know do not care about penises or breasts “flapping in the wind”. > > \*\* It’s not the 9 year old’s feelings that I’m particularly concerned about - it’s the women who are made to feel uncomfortable when trying to exercise, by the presence of a pre-teen. I would be uncomfortable. Period. I don’t need to justify it beyond that. There is a seperate area for families that should have been used, or alternate arrangements should have been made. > [@](#): > > \*\*f her breasts ARE really special, I invite her to to explain why. \*\* [Sienfeld]They’re real! And they’re magnificent![/Sienfeld] ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/38 "2003-01-10T21:43:07Z")
OOOOHHHHHHHHHHh Finally a chance to tell Mr. Ujest’s funny locker room incident. ( It involves \*\*boobies \*\* in a round about way so pay attention. ) Mr. Ujest was in the men’s locker room after taking our two children to swim lessons. (Our son is 4.5 and daughter 2.5 and are quite use to nudity about our house. If all four of us have pants on at one time it is coincidental.) A man with kids in our kids classes is helping his own children getting dressed. When his daughter, about 4ish, naked pulled at both her nipples, innocently asking, " Daddy, what are _these?_" Daddy, clearly embarrassed, " Uh…ah…uh…They’re \*penguins \*" Little Girl, " OOOh, you’ve got penguins…(looking around the locker room) everyone has penguins!" True Story. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/39 "2003-01-10T21:57:15Z")
How did you know the kid was nine? ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747/40 "2003-01-10T22:05:16Z")
Well, this is all about the sacred featherlou boobs, and not the 9 yo who got a free peek. Featherlou, what is a boob-peek worth, in your opinion? I’ll pay the 9 yo’s way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-woman-who-had-her-9-year-old-son-in-the-ladies-change-room-at-the-y/147747.md?page=3)