# To those persons sending me 'Grow your penis' emails... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706 "2003-01-15T07:43:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/21 "2003-01-15T19:46:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brutus \* > \*\*A raging love rod means nothing if you have bad credit. \*\* :eek: Sez you! ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/22 "2003-01-15T21:06:17Z")
I think spammers will eventually combine all their crap into a single annoying ad, like “Our hot nympho cheerleaders will get you low mortgage rates for your penis NOW!” You know, to cover all the bases. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/23 "2003-01-15T21:07:32Z")
Be careful, though - if you grow it too long, people might mistake it for a telegraph cable, and start tapping out messages on it in Morse Code. query: if you prune your incredibly long penis, will it branch out more sideways, like a houseplant? (maybe a question better suited to GQ…). ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/24 "2003-01-15T21:27:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*What pisses me off is that I get more of these than any of the ones geared towards females. > > What? I can grow my penis?! Amazing considering I _don’t even have one_!! \*\* That doesn’t matter. The kit they send you is kind of like a Chia Pet. Just water it, feed it, and talk it for daily walks, and soon you will have a penis the whole family will be proud of. ---
**Author:** ![Bubba\_Ray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bubba\_Ray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubba_Ray)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/25 "2003-01-15T21:47:08Z")
Just one question, why do they consider the boast that harvey the rug munching wonder sex dog is way better in satisfying a girl as me as a good way to sell me Harvey Porn, do they expect me to take notes? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/26 "2003-01-15T21:51:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by keithmac \* > \*\*But do you grow them from cuttings, or from seed? > Cheers, Keithy \*\* Grafting, actually. But the anti-rejection drugs are a bummer. The juxtaposition of the title to this thread and “Unhand My Pickle” on the forum home page is, well, odd. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/27 "2003-01-15T22:09:42Z")
While we’re on the subject, quit sending my husband ads for rubber duckie vibrators! Send them to me instead! No, really, just don’t send them to either of us…or to our pets, you sneaky bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/28 "2003-01-15T22:47:35Z")
I only get boring spam. Nothing about penises in my inbox or nekkid people. Of course the grow-your-penis kit is as useless as the ones I get now: fix your credit, refinance your mortgage. And I don’t even live in the US. Amazing I tell you. Amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/29 "2003-01-16T00:28:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\*The juxtaposition of the title to this thread and “Unhand My Pickle” on the forum home page is, well, odd. \*\* Oh dear. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/30 "2003-01-16T01:35:49Z")
Bah, unless I can upgrade my penis with a 20 mm. chaingun firing explosive-tipped antipersonnel rounds I’m just not interested. THEN the damn thing might actually be useful for a change… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/31 "2003-01-16T02:03:00Z")
I get ads for stuff to make my penis grow way beyond its present awesome dimensions. Then I get adds for Nature’s Viagra so I can use my newly enhanced awesome penis. Then I get adds for Singles Clubs so I can meet women with whom I can ingest Nature’s Viagra and who will lustfully utilize my newly enhanced awesome penis. Then I get credit card offers so I can max out my limit buying presents for the single women, most of whom are teenaged nympho sluts, who will help me ingest Nature’s Viagra and then lustfully utilize my newly enhanced awesome penis. Then I get adds from people who will help me reclaim my credit so I can get a preapproved mortgage for the new house I will need for my newly enhanced awesome penis. It seems clear to me that all this progresses logically and beautifully—there is a Divine Plan, after all. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/32 "2003-01-16T02:21:15Z")
I’m with you, man. Grow my penis?!? I’m already exhausted from lugging _this_ heavy thing around all day! ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706/33 "2003-01-16T04:34:48Z")
Why is it always add “1 to 3 inches”??? What if I need to add **four** inches to my pathetic wang? Or what if I’m oh-so-close to satisfaction and I only need **half an inch**? Clearly there are market niches not being served. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-those-persons-sending-me-grow-your-penis-emails/148706.md?page=1)