# Toaster Manufacturers
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 19, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438 "2011-05-19T13:25:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/1 "2011-05-19T13:25:08Z")
Fuck you, toaster manufacturers and fuck you warburton bread.
What idiot decided to make a loaf of bread with “Toastie” written on it which doesn’t fit into a toaster? I hate nothing more than that little soft bit of bread at the top of each slice where it sticks out the top of the toaster. It’s just warm and soft and floppy, its cloying moisture sticking to the roof of my mouth makes me physically sick. And the top crust, when properly toasted, is the best bit! If I wanted normal bread and butter then I wouldn’t be using a toaster, would I?
Well, from now on I’m buying the little own brand loaves which don’t stick out the top of the toaster. Then I’m going to grill them. Take that.
---
### Author:  [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/2 "2011-05-19T13:35:30Z")
> [@blindboyard](#):
>
> Fuck you, toaster manufacturers and fuck you warburton bread.
>
> What idiot decided to make a loaf of bread with “Toastie” written on it which doesn’t fit into a toaster? I hate nothing more than that little soft bit of bread at the top of each slice where it sticks out the top of the toaster. It’s just warm and soft and floppy, its cloying moisture sticking to the roof of my mouth makes me physically sick. And the top crust, when properly toasted, is the best bit! If I wanted normal bread and butter then I wouldn’t be using a toaster, would I?
>
> Well, from now on I’m buying the little own brand loaves which don’t stick out the top of the toaster. Then I’m going to grill them. Take that.
First, place the slice upside down in the toaster assuring that your favorite edge of the toast is cooked.
Next get a dog. That way when you chop off the bottom of the “worthless” uncooked toast - severing it from the otherwise wonderful piece - you’ll have a good friend who won’t find the morsel miserable.
---
### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/3 "2011-05-19T14:36:21Z")
So you’re pitting the manufacturer of toasters because it didn’t create a toasting device that would fit literally every conceivable bread in existence?
---
### Author:  [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/4 "2011-05-19T15:48:15Z")
> [@Enderw24](#):
>
> So you’re pitting the manufacturer of toasters because it didn’t create a toasting device that would fit literally every conceivable bread in existence?
I have noticed that every time I replace a toaster, the newer one holds bread of smaller dimensions.
---
### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/5 "2011-05-19T16:03:22Z")
> [@blindboyard](#):
>
> I hate nothing more than that little soft bit of bread at the top of each slice where it sticks out the top of the toaster. It’s just warm and soft and floppy, its cloying moisture sticking to the roof of my mouth makes me physically sick.
There’s this device called a knife…
---
### Author:  [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/6 "2011-05-19T16:24:57Z")
> [@Enderw24](#):
>
> So you’re pitting the manufacturer of toasters because it didn’t create a toasting device that would fit literally every conceivable bread in existence?
Well, it fails to contain Hovis and Warburton, which are the two brand leaders in this country in the sliced white loaf market. And I’ve had this problem with at least three different toasters. There seems to be a standardised size for both bread and toaster, with the standard toaster not properly containing the standard bread. It’s just a good job that cheap loaves reduce costs by reducing the height of the loaf.
I don’t spend my hard earned money on bread and toasters just to cut off the bits the toaster has negligently refused to toast and feed them to a dog.
---
### Author:  [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/7 "2011-05-19T16:29:13Z")
> [@blindboyard](#):
>
> I don’t spend my hard earned money on bread and toasters just to cut off the bits the toaster has negligently refused to toast and feed them to a dog.
Well, see, there’s your problem right there!
You just need a change of attitude. Change that to: “I **do** spend my hard earned money on bread and toasters just to cut off the bits the toaster has **helpfully** refused to toast and feed them to a dog.” and you’ll be all set!
YW.
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/8 "2011-05-19T17:02:36Z")
You’re British. You aren’t supposed to complain about your ubiquitous substandard electrical appliances - you’re supposed to accept them with stoicism.
---
### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/9 "2011-05-20T15:31:52Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#):
>
> You’re British. You aren’t supposed to complain about your ubiquitous substandard electrical appliances - you’re supposed to accept them with stoicism.
Or bite off the untoasted portion with that stiff upper lip. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/10 "2011-05-20T15:49:31Z")
I want one of those giant conveyor-belt bagel toasters like they have in cafeterias and delis.
Not because I have a tremendous amount of stuff to toast, I just like watching bread get slowly gobbled by the conveyor until it pukes out toast.
---
### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/11 "2011-05-20T16:53:11Z")
Get a toaster oven instead of the pop-up style toaster. Problem solved.
---
### Author:  [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/12 "2011-05-20T16:59:36Z")
Just be glad Lucas doesn’t make toasters, or your toast would be raw or your house would burn down.
---
### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/13 "2011-05-20T17:09:18Z")
Just flip the bread half way through…
I flip it a few times for perfect eveness, side to side, top to bottom, piece to piece…
But I’m as little crazy, so whatever… I do like toast , though.
---
### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/14 "2011-05-20T17:12:55Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> Just flip the bread half way through…
>
> I flip it a few times for perfect eveness, side to side, top to bottom, piece to piece…
>
> But I’m as little crazy, so whatever… I do like toast , though.
Doesn’t the very middle get overly toasted, then?
---
### Author:  [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/15 "2011-05-20T17:21:44Z")
> [@Sailboat](#):
>
> Or bite off the untoasted portion with that stiff upper lip. 🙂
Biting with your lips is called kissing. It’s like biting but without a winner. Kissing my toast isn’t something I’m into.
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> Get a toaster oven instead of the pop-up style toaster. Problem solved.
So you want me to give more money into the gaping maw of the toaster industry? Reward their incompetence and greed with yet more money for another of their substandard products? Never!
---
### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/16 "2011-05-20T17:27:59Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> Doesn’t the very middle get overly toasted, then?
No, you still toast it the normal amount of time you would, it’s just that the hot spots (and parts that may not fit) are kind of balanced out. So, one piece isn’t more toasted than the other, one side of either piece isn’t more toasted than the other, the top isn’t more toasted than the bottom, etc.
---
### Author:  [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/17 "2011-05-20T20:46:50Z")
Get two toasters. After placing the toast into the first one, invert the second toaster over the first. Activate both at once. Remove the inverted toaster when toasting is complete. Enjoy toast.
---
### Author:  [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/18 "2011-05-20T21:55:35Z")
Two toasters is an unacceptable solution. And any amount of rotating the bread will inevitably leave the middle of each slice overdone or the edges underdone.
---
### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/19 "2011-05-20T22:52:09Z")
> [@friedo](#):
>
> I want one of those giant conveyor-belt bagel toasters like they have in cafeterias and delis.
>
> Not because I have a tremendous amount of stuff to toast, I just like watching bread get slowly gobbled by the conveyor until it pukes out toast.
Ah, what you need is the [Toast-O-Lator](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS6HfCN2eLQ). It’s like a car wash for toast.
---
### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2011, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438/20 "2011-05-21T00:57:23Z")
What, is your oven’s broiler setting broken, you lazy bastard?
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toaster-manufacturers/582438.md?page=2)