# Toby Keith's a colossal turd and his proclivity for all things shitty knows no limits **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 22, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719 "2003-05-22T02:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/1 "2003-05-22T02:30:05Z")
Where do I even start with a piece of shit like you? First of all, I have to sit through about 34000 instances of your fucking Ford Truck commercial. You’re a Ford Truck man. That’s all you drive. You ain’t got no boundaries. You won’t compromise. Yes Toby, we know, we know. If I ever had any inklings of buying a Ford, there’s no fucking way in hell I’d ever consider it now. Then, some time later, I get wind of your ‘Boot up your Ass’ song. Apparently, that’s the American way. Great. Now you can join Lee Greenwood in the shitlog hall of fame for crappiest song about America that any shitty fart-tube has ever written. If you haven’t yet had the pleasure of hearing this masterpiece, [have a gander](http://www.coquetshack.com/lyrics/Keith_Toby/Courtesy_Of_The_Red_White_And_Blue_1086.htm) at the lyrics. Now, today, I read: > [@](#): > > The country artist and Ford spokesperson will use his June 15 performance at the auto manufacturer’s Centennial Celebration in Dearborn, Mich., as the kick-off of his Shock’N Y’all tour. The outing, which will be sponsored by the Ford F-150 pickup truck, will feature Blake Shelton (news) opening all dates. The **SHOCK’N Y’ALL TOUR.** The motherfuckin SHOCK’N Y’ALL tour. My goddamned head is about to explode. Somebody please make it stop. ---
**Author:** ![insomnia4AM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@insomnia4AM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/insomnia4AM)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/2 "2003-05-22T02:33:57Z")
_snort_ Shock’n Y’all? Oh my god! **mouthbreather** I can’t stop laughing long enough to stop your head from exploding, but I can be there with a mop and bucket to clean it up! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/3 "2003-05-22T02:50:42Z")
> [@](#): > > The country artist and Ford spokesperson will use his June 15 performance at the auto manufacturer’s Centennial Celebration in Dearborn, Mich., as the kick-off of his Shock’N Y’all tour. Hey, I’m gonna be there! (As media). But I like Toby. Eh, to each his own. Happy ---
**Author:** ![SweetLucy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@SweetLucy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SweetLucy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/4 "2003-05-22T04:39:27Z")
[ Then, some time later, I get wind of your ‘Boot up your Ass’ song. Apparently, that’s the American way. Can I put a boot up Toby’s ass? :mad: Yeah, it’s great to totally fulfil the stereotype of the “Ugly American.” ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/5 "2003-05-22T04:43:32Z")
Is he the one with that damned pro-war song about how yes, 9/11 happened, and that means we have to attack Iraq? Or is that some complete other country fucktard? LC ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/6 "2003-05-22T04:57:30Z")
Well, Darrell Worley did a song called “Have You Forgotten” that might be what you’re thinking of, but Toby Keith’s song sounds like it could be it as well. I like a few of the songs he happens to sing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/7 "2003-05-22T05:06:40Z")
Toby is also responsible for the first rap-style country video, “Who’s Your Daddy?” You could swap out the audio track with the latest ode to “Bling-Bling” or such else without adversely effecting the message. -M ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/8 "2003-05-22T05:21:16Z")
Ehh, Toby’s about the only country singer I can stand, he seems to have a pretty good tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. I’m amazed that you’re shocked he wrote a right wing, pro-American, kick ass song. He’s a _country singer_. It’s called _writing to your market_. Besides, if you read the lyrics a bit closer, he dosn’t villify any one group, religion or ethnicity, just a non-specific “you”, obviously refering to the people behind the 9/11 attacks. For country music, that’s downright progressive. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/9 "2003-05-22T05:26:47Z")
Why didn’t _my_ Pit thread have such a cool title? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/10 "2003-05-22T05:39:30Z")
“A mighty sucker punch” I’ve said it before. Absolute worst lyric ever. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/11 "2003-05-22T05:43:26Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m amazed that you’re shocked he wrote a right wing, pro-American, kick ass song. He’s a _country singer_. It’s called _writing to your market._ I understand the concept just fine…I mean, thats exactly what New Kids on the Block, Limp Bizkit, SUM41 and Poison also do (or did). That doesn’t make them any less horrible. Also, I’m not at all shocked that he wrote that song – where did you get that idea? Maybe it’s the anticipation for the kickoff of the SHOCK’N Y’ALL tour! It’s so catchy that now EVERYONE IS SHOCKED, or very soon will be. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/12 "2003-05-22T05:47:30Z")
If he’s writing to his audience, that doesn’t speak well of his audience. That song is unbelievable shite. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/13 "2003-05-22T12:44:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mouthbreather \* > **I understand the concept just fine…I mean, thats exactly what New Kids on the Block, Limp Bizkit, SUM41 and Poison also do (or did). That doesn’t make them any less horrible.** Not Sum41! They just don’t want to waste their time and become a casualty of society. They’ll never become a victim of your conformity. That’s why you can’t stand their completely original clothes and completely original music. Quit trying to oppress the teenage spirit! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/14 "2003-05-22T14:25:32Z")
I will walk ten miiiiles in the pouring rain when that goddamn truck breaks down again ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/15 "2003-05-22T14:34:28Z")
So I guess I am the only one who thinks the name “Shock’n Y’all” is clever? How do people think of these things? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/16 "2003-05-22T14:43:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Man Who \* > \*\*Toby is also responsible for the first rap-style country video, “Who’s Your Daddy?” > > \ \*\* I am! 😃 Hell, I’ll take Toby over those panty wastes like Steve Earle anyday. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/17 "2003-05-22T14:44:44Z")
My beef with Toby Keith stems from those God damned telemarketing calls he lent his voice to, telling me that I needed to listen to Redneck 106, or whatever. Here I am, waiting to find out when Airman was coming home, and it’s THIS meatfucker. Damn cocksucker. Robin ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/18 "2003-05-22T14:46:22Z")
I don’t usually listen to country music but when I heard Toby Keith on The Bob and Tom Show I thought he was pretty funny. Courtesy of the Red White and Blue is one of a group of songs he calls his “songs from the bus”. These are songs he and his group would play just for fun and whatever. The group includes “I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again” and “The Taliban Song”. I think the taliban song is hilarious because it sounds like an old folkie Loggins and Messina type song complete with lovely harmony and lyrics like \ I’m just a middle-aged middle eastern camel herdin’ man I got a 2 bedroom cave here in north Afghanistan Things used be real cool then they got outta hand when they moved in They call themselves the Taliban (ooh yeah ,the Taliban baby) The Taliban Now I ain’t seen my wife’s face since they came here They make her wear a scarf over her head that covers her from ear to ear She loves the desert and the hot white sand but man , she’s just like me Naw, she can’t stand the Taliban (ooh , Taliban baby) You know someday soon we’re both gonna saddle up and it’ll be ride camel ride My old lady she’ll be here with me , smilin right by my side , we should do just fine down in Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan We’ll bid a fair adeu and flip the finger to the Taliban (ooh, Taliban baby…)\ It’s funny. Yes it is. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/19 "2003-05-22T14:47:19Z")
For the record, not all of country music is right-wing neo-con. Ever hear of **Steve Earle** , **Ray Wiley Hubbard** or even **Willie Nelson**. Country has some protest songs and can be bitingly critical of society. Okay, that stuff isn’t what comes out of Nashvegas, but it’s still there. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719/20 "2003-05-22T16:36:04Z")
Toby Keith sullies the good name of country music. That’s right; I said it and I meant it. _I wanna talk about me I wanna talk about I. I wanna talk about number one, oh my, me, my._ **I Wanna Talk about I**??? preceded by his hit, _A Little Less Talk, a Lot More Action_, which is sexist and just plain whorish on many levels. He’s a walking, talking shitstain on the face of country music. Ignore anything that comes out of his mouth…unless it’s his vocal chords because that I could celebrate. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-keiths-a-colossal-turd-and-his-proclivity-for-all-things-shitty-knows-no-limits/176719.md?page=2)