# Toby Kieth Ensuckens Dead Gay Donkey Balls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644 "2007-01-26T23:29:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/1 "2007-01-26T23:29:04Z")
> [@](#): > > …Keith doesn’t support the Iraq war – “Never did,” he says – and he favors setting a time limit on the occupation. He says he suspects civil war in Iraq is inevitable and predicts the Kurds will be the victors: “I promise you, they’ll end up with it all.”… You craven sack of country cow pie. You were out there grabbing the bucks with both hands, pushing pro-war propaganda and shitting all over the Dixies for having the balls and brains you so abundantly lack. (How can you lack something “in abundance”? Shaddup! I’m pissed!..) > **[Eschaton](https://www.eschatonblog.com/)** Witness the above linked image, and tell me that it is anything but nauseating. Tell me this festering sack deserves anything but being staked out in a pasture so cows can sit on his face for mustache rides. > [@](#): > > …Keith says that wasn’t the case. In his mind, that Dixie Chick – “I still refuse to say the name” – was attacking him personally and trying to squash his freedom of speech, just as dictators such as Hussein did. “Are you the new tyrant in town?” Keith says of Maines. “It’s like, here, you’re in this family – this is where you belong.”… Yeah, you tell 'em, maraschino machismo. Little bitty slip of a girl, “squash his freedom of speech.” Sure thing, nutless. You exploited that incident for every dime you could squeeze, you played the pimp, the shill. How many ignorant country boys became dead country boys, at least in part due to your encouragement? Glorifying war goes beyond blasphemy, next time you say “Jesus” your tongue should catch fire. And now this festering cow pie. Don’t talk. Just drink a boiling cup of STFU. Take up a serious drug habit. Pray that Kitty Welles forgives you. Go sit at the feet of Willy with a pad and pencil and take notes. “Never did”. Go fuck a road kill armadillo. ---
**Author:** ![Godfrey\_Daniels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Godfrey\_Daniels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Godfrey_Daniels)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/2 "2007-01-26T23:44:02Z")
Solid 10. ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/3 "2007-01-26T23:51:07Z")
An example of a rat deserting a sinking ship, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/4 "2007-01-26T23:56:53Z")
Where are you getting all those quotes from? The link to that blog has maybe one sentence about TK, as far as I can tell. Before I jump on this bandwagon, I’d like a little more proof that TK ever claimed to support the Iraq war. I seem to remember reading quite some time ago that he was against it. But I don’t follow this kind of stuff very closely, so my memory might be off. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/5 "2007-01-27T00:06:01Z")
Well, I didn’t think anybody would actually click them… Good catch. The link provided doesn’t go to the verbiage mound. It was there as an illustration of linking the Dixies to Saddam, treason, you know the routine. A visual example of the level of slimeitude. > **[Newsday | Long Island's & NYC's News Source](https://www.newsday.com?coll=ny-music-headlines)** > > Breaking News, data & opinions in business, sports, entertainment, travel, lifestyle, plus much more. Newsday.com is the leading news source for Long Island & NYC. has the interview. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/6 "2007-01-27T00:06:58Z")
OK, my memory is still good. Here’s a cite [from Sept 2003](http://www.post-gazette.com/ae/20030926toby0926fnp5.asp) with him questioning the Iraq war: > [@](#): > > Away from the firepower of the stage, this fighting man from Oklahoma said that he has decided to call a cease-fire in his ugly feud with the Dixie Chicks (“We had fun with it, but I’m just done with it”), that he still has lingering questions about the necessity of the war in Iraq (“Honestly, I’m still doing the math on that”) and that he wonders whether the hit song, “(Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue) The Angry American,” has typecast him (“People think I bang the war drum, and that’s not me”). > > \ > > “Look, my stance is I pick and choose my wars. This war here [in Iraq], the math hasn’t worked out for me on it. But I’m smart enough to know there’s people smarter than me. [National security adviser] Condoleezza Rice, [Secretary of State] Colin Powell, George Bush – this is their job, and I have to trust in them. I support the commander in chief and the troops.” > > Keith took a long pause to consider his words, and then added: “I was for Afghanistan, 100 percent. We got struck and the Taliban needed to be exterminated, but this war here, in Iraq, I didn’t necessarily have it all worked out. It didn’t work out for me. I know a tyrant is gone and all of that, but whether it was our duty to go do that, well, I haven’t figured that out.” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/7 "2007-01-27T00:10:12Z")
“Ooopsy!” and “Never happened” are mutually exclusive. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/8 "2007-01-27T00:27:34Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] “Ooopsy!” and “Never happened” are mutually exclusive. [/QUOTE] Where’s the ooopsy? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/9 "2007-01-27T00:43:06Z")
Not going to take a position on the merits, pending further cites. However, that was an excellent rant. Eye catching title, lots of venom, creative and colorful language. A thing of beauty. Still, the deduction for failing to include a single “fuckwit” applies. 9/10\* \*highest rating I’ve ever awarded here. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/10 "2007-01-27T00:50:20Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Toby Kieth Ensuckens Dead Gay Donkey Balls [/QUOTE] …and it’s **Clinton** ’s [fault:](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toby_kieth) > [@](#): > > Toby Keith Covel was born in Clinton, Oklahoma. His family moved to Moore, Oklahoma (a suburb of Oklahoma City) when Keith was young… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/11 "2007-01-27T00:54:29Z")
[QUOTE=Stratocaster] Where’s the ooopsy? [/QUOTE] I mean in the sense that “I was wrong, I’ve changed my mind” is antithetical to “I never thought that way, nor expressed such opinions”. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/12 "2007-01-27T01:00:08Z")
PS to **Oakie** : I resist “fuckwit” for the same reason I resist smilies. I don’t happen to know what that reason is, but I am confident that I have one, and its a pretty good one. Thanks for da prop. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/13 "2007-01-27T01:47:45Z")
I hope **luci** turns out to be wrong about this. I was looking forward to eating at Keith’s “I Love This Bar and Grill” next time we were in Vegas. If he(Keith) is really that big an asshole, I’ll have to eat elsewhere, just because. But yeah, a well-crafted rant. I concur with the rating. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/14 "2007-01-27T01:53:18Z")
Perhaps good ol’ **luci** has misconfabulated _Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue_ to be a pro-Iraq war song. It wasn’t. It was a kick al Qaeda’s ass song. Overall good rant, though, **luci**. I particularly liked the fact that you were able to bring yourself up short in mid-rant to comment on the dichotomy of “lacking in abundance.” 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 I gotcha smilies, right heah! Oh, by the way…yay, Toby! You da MAN! (Except by and large I don’t like country music. What the hell kind of conservative am I, anyway?) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/15 "2007-01-27T02:02:15Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Well, I didn’t think anybody would actually click them… Good catch. The link provided doesn’t go to the verbiage mound. It was there as an illustration of linking the Dixies to Saddam, treason, you know the routine. A visual example of the level of slimeitude. > **[Newsday | Long Island's & NYC's News Source](https://www.newsday.com?coll=ny-music-headlines)** > > Breaking News, data & opinions in business, sports, entertainment, travel, lifestyle, plus much more. Newsday.com is the leading news source for Long Island & NYC. has the interview. [/QUOTE] The business of squashing his freedom of speech is childish and silly, but note that isn’t a direct quote. We don’t really know exactly what he said. The picture of TDCs and SH together is loathsome and slimy. But I don’t see him pushing pro-war propaganda. He wrote an angry song about the attacks of 9/11/01, but so what? Like the article you linked to says: > [@](#): > > Raise your right hand if you think Keith is a pro-military type who voted twice for George W. Bush, supported the invasion of Afghanistan and watches Fox News. Raise your left if you think he is a registered Democrat who voted twice for Bill Clinton, opposed the war in Iraq and suspects Fox News merely panders to the right to boost ratings. > > Either way, you’re correct – and whichever hand went up probably says more about you than about Keith. Emphasis added. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/16 "2007-01-27T02:09:21Z")
It’s a shame that someone who makes such unique and beautiful music would be such an idiot. I haven’t felt this way since Chad Kroeger of Nickelback claimed that the Jews stole his cerebral cortex. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/17 "2007-01-27T02:38:55Z")
Toby has admitted, for the record, that George Bush is smarter than him. For that alone, maybe you could see your way to ease up on him a tad. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/18 "2007-01-27T02:40:11Z")
You have a much greater enthusiasm for precision parsing than I, **John**. I’m not about to go combing over every public statement of TK. I am entirely willing to accept offense as defense, when he slurs the patriotism of others and uses images associated with the Iraq war (i.e., Saddam) _to that end_! I am entirely justified in assessing that to be a defense of same. There was no nuance in his tactics, its a bit late to claim there was nuance in his thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/19 "2007-01-27T02:42:06Z")
Huh. The people on this board are confusing heart-on-your-sleeve patriotism with pro-war sentiment, something they constantly accuse right-wingers of doing. I have no beef with Toby Keith, though my taste tends more toward George Jones or Merle when I’m listening to country. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644/20 "2007-01-27T02:54:15Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] You have a much greater enthusiasm for precision parsing than I, **John**. I’m not about to go combing over every public statement of TK. I am entirely willing to accept offense as defense, when he slurs the patriotism of others and uses images associated with the Iraq war (i.e., Saddam) _to that end_! I am entirely justified in assessing that to be a defense of same. There was no nuance in his tactics, its a bit late to claim there was nuance in his thinking. [/QUOTE] And I said that tactic was “loathsome”, so we’re on the same page. At least one other poster in this thread seem to think he is rat leaving a sinking ship, when that is not an accurate assessment at all. Rather, it’s a knee-jerk reaction to jump on the bandwagon without taking the time to understand the facts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toby-kieth-ensuckens-dead-gay-donkey-balls/389644.md?page=2)