# Today, I feel like a bad mom **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442 "2004-03-15T16:03:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/41 "2004-03-16T13:45:37Z")
> [@Lars Aruns](#): > > Folks, did you ever ask your parents what the Tooth Fairy needed teeth for? Yes, I did ask my parents. They didn’t know, so I wrote a letter to the tooth fairy asking her what she did with all those teeth. The next morning I got a reply, but unfortunately it was written in fairy language, which (to the untrained eye) looks like a very neat scribble on the page. Neither of my parents were able to read it either. I just thought the tooth fairy was lucky that my Mum didn’t get mad at her for pinching a sheet of her best writing paper. I wish someone in my family had thought to keep both letter and reply. **Starving Artist** , I’ve been involved in discussions about Santa, etc before. While I respect that you and others are uncomfortable about what they see as lying to their children, I feel differently. I have such fond memories that come from believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, and I’d love any children I may have to get the chance to experience the same. There was no great sense of betrayal when the truth came out, but I still had lots of happy memories about our tardy tooth fairy and her friends. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/42 "2004-03-16T13:51:17Z")
> [@cazzle](#): > > **Starving Artist** , I’ve been involved in discussions about Santa, etc before. While I respect that you and others are uncomfortable about what they see as lying to their children, I feel differently. I have such fond memories that come from believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, and I’d love any children I may have to get the chance to experience the same. There was no great sense of betrayal when the truth came out, but I still had lots of happy memories about our tardy tooth fairy and her friends. Fair enough. Thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/43 "2004-03-16T14:20:30Z")
The Tooth fairy remembered last night.🙂 Misskid2 woke up this morning very happy. FWIW, we do tell the kids the truth when they ask. I have two step-daughters who are older. They know the truth, we would never deny them that. All we ever asked was that they keep the magic alive for the other kids as long as they believe. When my kids are older and they come to me and ask if Santa, Easter bunny and Tooth fairy are real I will tell them the truth. I don’t see any long term harm resulting from telling them there are magical beings out there who come to our house and leave them goodies. My mom kept our teeth. She finally threw them all out a few years ago. Each of us three kids had an envelope full of them. Why she saved them, I’ll never know. She did call to see if it was ok if she threw them away. The only tooth I keep is the first tooth lost. The rest go in the garbage. ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/44 "2004-03-16T17:12:07Z")
I think my parents forgot once when I was a kid. I remember that it was daytime, and my grandfather came to visit. My parents kept me out in the livingroom, when quite obviously grandpa went in my bedroom for a second. When he came out they all sent me in and unbelievably there was a quarter under my pillow! (Yeah, that’s all I got when I lost a tooth!) I was like 7 or 8 at the time and remembered thinking if grandpa left me money once, then usually it must be my parents. So there couldn’t be a tooth fairy. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/45 "2004-03-16T19:52:38Z")
LilMiss is a bit delayed in the tooth losing area. She finally lost her first tooth at almost age 9. It was a joyous moment, in front of family and friends (we didn’t intend it to be that way, but it was). That poor tooth was hanging by the grace of god. Auntie taunted her into pulling on it. LilMiss did, and it was in her hand. Her eyes became VERY wide. “I DID IT!” Because she has had such difficulties losing teeth, that first one garnered $5.00. She lost 2 other teeth on her own, which only raked in $1.00 each. The first time she had teeth removed by her dentist (2), she received $5.00 (total), because it was not a ‘normal’ situation. Last week she had to have another snaggletooth removed by the dentist, but it’s still in the car. She asked why the tooth fairy didn’t come. I told her she has too much to do than to hunt around for a tooth, and unless it’s under her pillow, she’s SOL. Now this Thursday she has to have two more pulled, along with a spacer inserted. I’m thinking another $5.00 will be in order. She knows there aren’t such entities as Santa, the EB, the TF, but she enjoys it all the same. This past XMas we had a discussion about Santa, and she stated the anticipation and surprise is what keeps her wanting to believe. (This is also the kid who at age 10 still believes-but is somewhat suspicious- about the claim that all parent have eyes in the back of their heads, seen only by other parents. Kids cannot see them.) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/46 "2004-03-16T20:04:49Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > You really can’t tell the difference between a child finding out his parents have been deceiving him and a child being teased by another child for having an artificial penis? You really can’t tell the difference between lying and Santa Claus? Lemme see if I can put this to you a better way: Presents. Lots and lots of presents. Shinies! Big trucks - or, in my case, shiny pewter dishes that went CLANG CLANG CLANG AND MADE LOTS OF NOISE WOOOOOO! Noise was OKAY! WE COULD YELL! PLAY AND HAVE FUN AND YELL AND SCREAM AND RUN AROUND. THERE WAS A TREEEEEE IN OUR APARTMENT! A TREEEEEEEE! AND I GOT A TRICYCLE AND PEGGY DID TOOOOOOOO! AND THERE WAS A GREAT BIG MESS AND NOBODY YELLED AT US AND WE HAD FUN AND GOT MORE PRESENTS!!! (the preceding has been brought to you by the three-year-old still living inside me) Some years later, a 7- or 8-year-old **iampunha** approaches his parents with some hesitation. “Mama, Daddy … Santa Claus isn’t real, is he?” (Cuz how could he get to all those good girls and boys everywhere else AND remember what I wanted but didn’t tell him because I was trying to figure out if he was real?) “No, honey, he’s not.” More explanation came later. I first played Santa for my siblings when I was about 13. > [@](#): > > I’m beginning to have second thoughts about some of the posters on this thread. It seems some of you are much more concerned with your own delight at playing the fun parent than they are with the possible negative consequences of it to your children. Your brother’s displeasure at having the great secret revealed against his wishes (or, certainly, something he didn’t exactly seek out) aside, I have yet to come across a child who was traumatized by the personal quest to figure out if Santa is real or not. He is, of course. Perhaps not in the same way people think about him now, but he’s real. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/47 "2004-03-16T20:25:28Z")
My kids like the TF idea and the enjoy the anticipation of the morning cash, even though they know it isn’t real. I was far more traumatised by the lie of organized religion; that was a much bigger prank with whole buildings devoted to it, books written in support of it, and weekly organized lie sessions to promulgate the hoax. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/48 "2004-03-16T20:44:25Z")
I don’t recall ever believing that SC, TF, EB were real (or at least REALLY real like you and I… boy, that’s a whole 'nother can of worms, isn’t it?) But it was still fun. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/49 "2004-03-16T21:04:49Z")
I never believed in Santa but my older brother did… weird. I believed in the Tooth Fairy (my brother caught her in a box once but she magically got away) and in the Easter Bunny because the EB brought chocolate. As for the ‘loss of innocence’ thing and lying to your kids… My cousin is the oldest of three. When he was nine or so, he figured out that there was no Santa. He went to his mom, very seriously, and told her that he knew, so there was no point pretending anymore. She asked him to keep it a secret (just between them) so his little brothers would still believe. Keeping an important secret such as Santa made him feel like an adult, so he kept it well… but when a present from Santa was handed out at our Christmas celebration, he and his mom would share a secret wink. According to her, they’ve been closer ever since (he’s 16 now). ---
**Author:** ![Lwaxana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Lwaxana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lwaxana)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/50 "2004-03-16T21:27:06Z")
Originally Posted by Lars Aruns Folks, did you ever ask your parents what the Tooth Fairy needed teeth for? I was raised by my grandparents and when I asked my pap-pap what the tooth fairy needed the teeth for he showed me his dentures and explained that the tooth fairy sold the teeth to the dentest to make false teeth and she used the money to put under our pillows when we lost out teeth. I bet I was in my mid- 20’s before it hit me that false teeth were not made of real teeth- duh ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/51 "2004-03-16T21:47:17Z")
> [@Lars Aruns](#): > > Folks, did you ever ask your parents what the Tooth Fairy needed teeth for? We had a book! According to the book, the tooth fairy was actually the sister half of a brother/sister team. The sister went all around the world and collected teeth and the brother turned them into diamonds that would be used for engagement rings. Anyone else remember this book? ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/52 "2004-03-17T05:28:23Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > First time I forgot, my son came bounding down the stairs to announce that the tooth fairy had forgotten him. I said, “No way” (meanwhile trying very hard not to look panicked) and went upstairs “to check”. Surreptitiously stuck the dollar under his bed, called him up to help me look. He found it under his bed and I explained it away by saying he must have knocked it under his bed in his sleep. I’ve forgotten at least three or four times over the years, and that was always my cover story. Except I’m a truly awful mom - I even used those occasions to deliver my “if you kept your room cleaner, you’d be able to find things” speech. My favorite Tooth Fairy moment was the morning that my younger daughter greeted me with her tooth in hand. She said, “I lost this last night!” I asked her why she didn’t tell me, and she said, “I was testing to see if the Tooth Fairy was real, so I didn’t tell anyone I lost it!” She then triumphantly showed me the dollar in her other hand. It turned out that she hadn’t told anyone - except her 13-year-old sister, whom I have never seen look more pleased with herself. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/53 "2004-03-17T07:18:03Z")
I never had a Tooth Fairy. ☹ I lost **two** teeth _at the same time_ on my _ **sixth freakin’ birthday** _ and what did I get? Nothing! Just some dumb old birthday presents, nothing special. ☹ ☹ But I got to yank my nephew’s first tooth! It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, but the notion of having his tooth ripped out of his mouth didn’t sit easy with him. It was loose for a couple weeks then, one day after school, he just started crying. I asked him what happened and he started shaking his head and said, “I don’t think I’m ready for this”. I felt SO BAD for him! But I explained that we had to take it out so the new tooth had more room (it was already starting to come in). He panicked so much that I matched what the “Tooth Fairy” brought for him. I just felt so terrible. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/54 "2004-03-17T12:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by InternetLegend_ > My favorite Tooth Fairy moment was the morning that my younger daughter greeted me with her tooth in hand. She said, “I lost this last night!” I asked her why she didn’t tell me, and she said, “I was testing to see if the Tooth Fairy was real, so I didn’t tell anyone I lost it!” She then triumphantly showed me the dollar in her other hand. It turned out that she hadn’t told anyone - except her 13-year-old sister, whom I have never seen look more pleased with herself. Wow! What a neat story! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/55 "2004-03-19T09:11:38Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > The going rate here is a buck a tooth. This may rate a fiver for two reasons, number one - I forgot about it completely and feel horrible, and number two - her dad had to pull the tooth. It didn’t just fall out. By what means did he pull it? Reason I ask is, I’d like to share my dad’s tooth-pulling method. In theory: “I’m gonna tie one end of this thread to your tooth, then tie the other end to the doorknob, with the door open. Then I’ll close the door, and your tooth will pop out.” In practice: “Okay, here we go. Stop giggling. Okay, hold still. Almost…can’t get…my thumb…in there…Stop laughing! Okay, let’s try it again…Whoops! It fell out. Well, forget the doorknob, then!” Which was the idea, of course: get the kid (me, or nephew or whoever) so distracted by the Rube Goldberg setup they forget to cringe. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/56 "2004-03-19T15:26:10Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > In theory: “I’m gonna tie one end of this thread to your tooth, then tie the other end to the doorknob, with the door open. Then I’ll close the door, and your tooth will pop out.” > > In practice: “Okay, here we go. Stop giggling. Okay, hold still. Almost…can’t get…my thumb…in there…Stop laughing! Okay, let’s try it again…Whoops! It fell out. Well, forget the doorknob, then!” This is almost exactly what he did. He put orajel on the gum to numb it and told her he was going to tie the string around her tooth and tie the other end of the string to the door knob. ( The string was wayyyy to short for that to even be possible) While he was “tying” the string to her tooth, the tooth came out, before she was expecting it. I, on the other hand, would have never been so clever. When I pulled my son’s tooth, I just put orajel on the gum and yanked it out. I cried, he didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442/57 "2004-03-19T16:13:51Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > Perhaps some of this concern is due to the fact that as a child, I figured out, after being up all night for the first time, that there wouldn’t have been enough time for Santa to hit all the houses in town, let alone the world. I asked my father about it and he told me that indeed Santa wasn’t real. Of course, I had to share this with my younger brother and sister – who weren’t old enough to understand, as it turned out – and my brother remembers it to this day, and he’s 52. (This is not to say he’s traumatized by it, just that he remembers it as a startling and unpleasant revelation.) But _you_ were the one startled your brother with this news. Maybe if he had been allowed to figure it out on his own as you did, he might not have unpleasant associations with it. Your dad missed a golden opportunity for xmas eve assistance… my mom made me a Santa’s helper when I figured it out. I’ll never forget the year that both of my brothers got a ton of Star Wars toys. Just putting all the little stickers on that damned Millenium Falcon took over an hour. I really wished I had kept my mouth shut about Santa at that point. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-feel-like-a-bad-mom/234442.md?page=2)