# Today I saw a loser that made me so mad **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2009, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921 "2009-12-11T21:49:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Docta\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Docta\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Docta_G)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/41 "2009-12-12T01:22:08Z")
> [@Docta\_G](#): > > Someone should introduce mookie to Sandra Tsing Loh. OK, that was a cheap joke. I too suffer from severe depression. Maybe that was the depression joking. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/42 "2009-12-12T01:23:23Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I’m no more proud of it than the fact that I have brown hair. I’m defintitely not going to apologize for it. And I’m certainly not going to pretend like I feel sad for **mookie**. Why do you assume that sympathy is inborn as opposed to a character trait? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/43 "2009-12-12T01:26:58Z")
**bucketybuck** , I am pretty disgusted by what you’ve done here. Having been introduced over the past two years to genuine depression for the first time, I can tell you that:[ul][_]If you’ve never experienced it, you have no idea how fucking unbelievably horrible it is. People who are well bandy the word “depressed” around when they mean “sad”. If you’ve actually had depression - and I think we can assume, since he’s in treatment for the condition, that **mookieblaylock** genuinely does have it - you fucking know you’ve got something way beyond your immediate control.[_]One of the many unpleasant symptoms of it is crushingly low self-esteem. And that leads to “whining”.[_]If you’re suffering and lucky enough to be able to reach out, looking for compassion and comprehension, or just to express how you feel. To mentally well recipients it looks like whining. Actually, that reaching out is the sufferer actually doing something positive - at least they’re speaking, honestly, about how they feel.[_]This thread is potentially damaging. Again, if you have never experienced it, you will not realise how there are compassionate ways to encourage someone with this affliction to sort themselves out and seek help, and change their attitudes. Attacking them in this way is not going to do anything but add to the pain.[/ul]Dude, I would not wish what **mookieblaylock** is going through on my worst enemy. I likened it to being inside a bell jar of filth: you know the world is outside and full of good stuff, but you cannot get near it, and your perceptions of it, and yourself, are tainted. By all means advise the guy to persist with the help he’s getting, and tell him you aren’t enjoying his venting - but don’t scour the poor fucker over the coals. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/44 "2009-12-12T01:36:13Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I’m no more proud of it than the fact that I have brown hair. I’m defintitely not going to apologize for it. And I’m certainly not going to pretend like I feel sad for **mookie**. I’m convinced you wear your lack of compassion like a badge of honor. Otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it. > [@](#): > > You say that like we haven’t had difficult lives. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. But it didn’t end until I figured out that the cavalry wasn’t going to come save me. So I hardened the fuck up. The kid’s crying for help, and I have absolutely no desire to go help him. Do you? Then you do it. Here’s the thing, snowflake. You don’t have to have any compassion for the guy. But at the same time your defective lack of compassion prevents you from knowing when to not add to someone else’s misery. It’s pretty clear to me that you’re fairly clueless about people with mental health issues. If you were you’d know that it isn’t possible for some people to “harden the fuck up”. The fact that you don’t understand that is just another aspect of your seemingly defective personality. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/45 "2009-12-12T02:15:54Z")
I get that he’s in a horrible place with a legitimate condition. The thing that people are exasperated with is that he’s thrown everybody’s goodwill and thrown it back in their face. My policy for helping others is that they have to be an active participant in their recovery, otherwise everyone’s time, effort, and emotional investment is wasted. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/46 "2009-12-12T02:19:14Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Why do you assume that sympathy is inborn as opposed to a character trait? Why do you assume that there is a difference between inborn traits and character traits? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/47 "2009-12-12T02:20:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Eh, you’ve got me there. > > I agree **mookie** needs a kick in the ass to get some help, but telling him the whole, “you’re a loser, just ‘snap out of it’” isn’t “help.” Actually, it’s just sadism hidden behind a false concern. The people trash talking here do not care about Mooky, they like making fun of him for his suffering. He’s less than them, they are better than he is. He’s pathetic, and loser. But it’s his own fault because he isn’t being treated by a Doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/48 "2009-12-12T02:24:50Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > “Hardened the fuck up” =! becoming a near sociopath. > [@BigT](#): > > I think a person would not kick a person when they are down if they really thought they were a person. But maybe the OP would pit a cancer victim for daring to have cancer. What makes you think I’m sociopathic? I’m not kicking the guy when he’s down. I’m stepping over him. Totally different. And I don’t think the OP (or I) would pit a cancer victim for having cancer. We’d pit the cancer victim that refused to get treated and at the same time bitched about dying. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > If you can do that without losing face, more power to you. Under the current rules of (society/culture/the netz/the SDMB), a lot of men can’t. That’s not true. Breaking the paradigm and saying things like “Yes, I enjoy musicals” or whatever is part of being a self-confident person. > [@Maeglin](#): > > Why do you assume that sympathy is inborn as opposed to a character trait? You’re missing the analogy. Saying “I was born without a heart” is a metaphor. The brown-hair-thing is merely stating that I’m rather indifferent to it. It’s a part of me. I have no desire to change it. > [@tacoloco](#): > > I’m convinced you wear your lack of compassion like a badge of honor. Otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it. No. There are a set of events and actions in my life that have led me to be this way. Iraq, for one. My parents, for another. My former physique, for a third. THOSE I wear like a badge of honor because overcoming hurdles is honorable. My lack of compassion for people unwilling to do the same as I have done is merely a side effect. But enough about me. > [@tacoloco](#): > > Here’s the thing, snowflake. You don’t have to have any compassion for the guy. But at the same time your defective lack of compassion prevents you from knowing when to not add to someone else’s misery. > > It’s pretty clear to me that you’re fairly clueless about people with mental health issues. If you were you’d know that it isn’t possible for some people to “harden the fuck up”. The fact that you don’t understand that is just another aspect of your seemingly defective personality. Snowflake. Cute. Not sure where you’re going with that. My lack of compassion for people who KNOW how to help themselves but won’t do it is not a character flaw. It’s not a defect. I’m not piling on the misery because he’s not even reading this right now. If he is, he doesn’t have to be. I’m not expecting him to “harden the fuck up” and feel better. I’m expecting him to harden the fuck up and go see a doctor, distance himself from poisonous friends, take his meds, join a club, and all the other things we’ve told him he needs to do. He knows what he needs to do but he won’t do it. So I’m with **Cat Whisperer** here. We’re out. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/49 "2009-12-12T02:27:26Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > But it’s his own fault because he isn’t being treated by a Doctor. And of course, this is the weirdest part of it all, since he is seeing a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/50 "2009-12-12T03:17:02Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > And of course, this is the weirdest part of it all, since he is seeing a doctor. LOL, the plot sickens. It’s always funny to me when people say they have no sympathy for someone who is depressed and doesn’t see a Doctor. I guess they don’t realize that Depression essentially hamstrings you from doing ANYTHING to varying degrees. But since he IS seeing a Doctor…well. They always couch it in such enlightened terms. “I understand Depression is a disease, but I am going to make an excuse for myself so I can berate you for not having the motivation to go to a Doctor since you have a disease that sucks out all motivation.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/51 "2009-12-12T03:19:11Z")
My spidey sense says attention seeking preteen/teenager. And really, if you go back and look, a pretty good one. He barely typed any words and we just poured the attention on him. Honestly I doubt it matters if it was pages of hugs and sincerity or more pages of scorn and tough love. You gotta give him his props, in my opinion, he still making us all dance, when you think about it. No too shabby for a teen. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/52 "2009-12-12T03:20:44Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > What makes you think I’m sociopathic? I’m not kicking the guy when he’s down. I’m stepping over him. Totally different. And I don’t think the OP (or I) would pit a cancer victim for having cancer. We’d pit the cancer victim that refused to get treated and at the same time bitched about dying. Did you read the part where he said he IS seeing a doctor, fucknuggets? If you really WERE “stepping over him”, you wouldn’t give a shit to say anything at all. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/53 "2009-12-12T03:51:41Z")
Hey **bucketybuck** , I’ve got this hurt puppy here, I’ll bet you could totally kick it. One of it’s legs is broken and it can’t move very fast, go for it. C’mon, get a good run up and go for 7, you know you wanna. It makes you feel all big and manly picking on things that need help like that. Go for it. Show us all how tough and hard you are, it can’t fight back. Dipshit. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/54 "2009-12-12T04:02:29Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Did you read the part where he said he IS seeing a doctor, fucknuggets? > > If you really WERE “stepping over him”, you wouldn’t give a shit to say anything at all. Yeah, I saw it. So? Am I not allowed to be irked by his attention whoring and dismissal of all our advice? And I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re in the Pit. There’s no room for sunshine and lollipops here. It’s the BBQ Pit, not the Kumbaya Bonfire. This is where we’re SUPPOSED to tease, mock, and jeer those that we feel like teasing, mocking, and jeering. I’m pretty sure 99% of the posters on here don’t give a shit about anything posted here. It doesn’t stop us from posting. Gotta love the posters that are always “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when we’re in the **FUCKING PIT**. The fact that I’m posting doesn’t mean I give a shit about any of this. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/55 "2009-12-12T04:10:19Z")
**Chessic Sense** , you might want to dwell on the difference in meaning between “allowed” and “supposed.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/56 "2009-12-12T04:12:16Z")
Without commenting on mookieblaylock, since it is difficult to tell attention-seeker from troll from soul crying out for help these days… Sympathy is weakness, eh? I disagree. It takes balls for a man to show that he can have sympathy for others–those who can’t and buy into the prison mentality are really just toadies, trying to show they can be just like the bully heroes that apparently are to be admired by society at large. In other words, you’re their bitches. Following the crowd takes no guts. Being your own person and offering a hand up does. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/57 "2009-12-12T04:25:52Z")
> [@Enfant Terrible](#): > > Sympathy is weakness, eh? I disagree. Are you disagreeing with me or someone else? You know I said the same thing, right? > [@me](#): > > That’s not true. Breaking the paradigm and saying things like “Yes, I enjoy musicals” or whatever is part of being a self-confident person. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/58 "2009-12-12T04:28:03Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > No. There are a set of events and actions in my life that have led me to be this way. Iraq, for one. My parents, for another. My former physique, for a third. THOSE I wear like a badge of honor because overcoming hurdles is honorable. My lack of compassion for people unwilling to do the same as I have done is merely a side effect. But enough about me. You made this about you and you further hide your ethical culpability. Your experiences have not inextricably left you without sympathy, as others who have walked in shoes of a similar size have not left their better natures at the door. You made a choice, for better or worse, and you should at least cop to it. It is, simply put, a defect in character. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/59 "2009-12-12T04:29:13Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Yeah, I saw it. So? Am I not allowed to be irked by his attention whoring and dismissal of all our advice? > > And I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re in the Pit. There’s no room for sunshine and lollipops here. It’s the BBQ Pit, not the Kumbaya Bonfire. This is where we’re SUPPOSED to tease, mock, and jeer those that we feel like teasing, mocking, and jeering. I’m pretty sure 99% of the posters on here don’t give a shit about anything posted here. It doesn’t stop us from posting. Gotta love the posters that are always “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when we’re in the **FUCKING PIT**. The fact that I’m posting doesn’t mean I give a shit about any of this. Wow…you really are an evil bastard, aren’t you? You like “teasing, mocking, and jeering” the mentally ill, eh? You are one sick SOB. You didn’t give “advice”. You basically reinforced the guy’s guy’s own feelings. Wow, with skills like that, you should go into counseling!!! And yeah, it’s the Pit. Doesn’t mean you have to be an rat bastard. Ever heard of “excluded middle”, dumbshit? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921/60 "2009-12-12T04:56:21Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Yeah, I saw it. So? Am I not allowed to be irked by his attention whoring and dismissal of all our advice? > > And I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re in the Pit. There’s no room for sunshine and lollipops here. It’s the BBQ Pit, not the Kumbaya Bonfire. This is where we’re SUPPOSED to tease, mock, and jeer those that we feel like teasing, mocking, and jeering. I’m pretty sure 99% of the posters on here don’t give a shit about anything posted here. It doesn’t stop us from posting. Gotta love the posters that are always “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when we’re in the **FUCKING PIT**. The fact that I’m posting doesn’t mean I give a shit about any of this. You’re forgetting one little bit. We’re in the Pit. That’s the perfect place to point out that you are a horrible human being. The Pit isn’t a place that condones being a bastard–it’s a place to get out your obviously irrational anger. It’s for ranting, not being a jerk. And the idea that people don’t care what goes on the Pit is asinine. A poster just got banned for what she did in the Pit. And even before the banning, people were ganging up on her–many who hardly ever post in the pit. I’m actually starting to think that we may need to stop this. Your behavior might itself be indicative of a mental disorder. If you truly lack compassion and sympathy, then you are the very definition of “Antisocial personality disorder”, aka a sociopath. Too bad sociopaths often don’t seek professional help until its too late. (Unfortunately, that too late is destructive to others, unlike the one that usually happens to depressives.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-saw-a-loser-that-made-me-so-mad/520921.md?page=4)