# Today I started a war with a neighbor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 4, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823 "2014-03-04T14:06:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![qubed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f07891/32.png) [@qubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qubed)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/21 "2014-03-04T16:06:44Z")
While she’s definitely being a jerk, next time (kindly) suggest to her that if she’s having a problem with poop in her hard, she should install a video camera to collect evidence so she can blame the right person. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/22 "2014-03-04T16:19:57Z")
I know not for what reason World War IV will be fought, but World War III will be fought over dog shit. ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/23 "2014-03-04T16:23:12Z")
Oh, I know I behaved badly but the emotions got the best of me. In the future I will act as I had in the past: Don’t walk by her house; don’t engage her. If she accosts me again I will smile and wave or perhaps blow kisses. It would probably be more annoying to her. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/24 "2014-03-04T16:25:27Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > “It’s called a pocket. You should get some…” ?? > > Good one! Even better would have been if he claimed to be a magician. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/25 "2014-03-04T16:26:47Z")
> [@Kelevra](#): > > Oh, I know I behaved badly but the emotions got the best of me. In the future I will act as I had in the past: Don’t walk by her house; don’t engage her. If she accosts me again I will smile and wave or perhaps blow kisses. It would probably be more annoying to her. Perhaps a peace offering is in order. A framed picture of your dog. ---
**Author:** ![What\_the](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f4b2a3/32.png) [@What\_the](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_the)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/26 "2014-03-04T16:27:36Z")
If it weren’t for the husband beating your faggoty face in part I’d suggest that you use her yard exclusively for a while…picking up afterwards of course. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/27 "2014-03-04T16:28:02Z")
Just wave your bag at her…she knows what it means. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/28 "2014-03-04T16:28:38Z")
> [@Kelevra](#): > > With three of my neighbors I have a reciprocal agreement. Their dogs can shit in my yard and my dogs can shit in their yard. > [@andros](#): > > Also…a reciprocal lawn-shitting arrangement? Dafuq? I can’t help but think that’s a bad precedent. Especially if CrazyLady has been snooping and has seen your dogs shitting on the “acceptable” lawns… I’m with **andros** , why would you or those neighbors actually WANT a dog to shit in your/their yards. Sounds disgusting to me. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/29 "2014-03-04T16:28:54Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Perhaps a peace offering is in order. A framed picture of your dog. Seconded, a framed picture of one’s dong is always an acceptable and tasteful gift. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/30 "2014-03-04T16:29:57Z")
DOG, not dong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/31 "2014-03-04T16:37:11Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Perhaps a peace offering is in order. A framed picture of your dog. Sounds like the dog’s already been framed. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/32 "2014-03-04T16:38:04Z")
Coincidentally, [faggots](http://www.creativeforestfoods.co.uk/forest_fare/images/faggot.jpg) do resemble dog shit. I couldn’t claim expertise in taste comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/33 "2014-03-04T16:42:44Z")
I think you have a choice when your dog takes a dump on your neighbor’s yard. You can: 1. Pick up the shit and dispose of it. 2. Pick up the dog and dispose of it. 3. Pick up the neighbor and dispose of it. In this case, I suggest #3. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/34 "2014-03-04T16:52:23Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > I’m with **andros** , why would you or those neighbors actually WANT a dog to shit in your/their yards. Sounds disgusting to me. No one WANTS a dog to shit in their yard. But my dog needs to walk several blocks before she drops a deuce - if a homeowner a couple blocks away has a similar dog, and we come to a similar arrangement, then we each need to go through fewer poop bags. It’s a lot easier to pick up poop in your yard once a week than every. single. time. it happens. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/35 "2014-03-04T16:56:09Z")
3 steps to happiness Step 1) Find picture of neighbor Step 2) Photoshop face of neighbor onto picture of dog pooping Step 3) Mass mailing to the neighbors asking “Have you seen this poop bandit?” ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/36 "2014-03-04T17:01:12Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > No one WANTS a dog to shit in their yard. But my dog needs to walk several blocks before she drops a deuce - if a homeowner a couple blocks away has a similar dog, and we come to a similar arrangement, then we each need to go through fewer poop bags. It’s a lot easier to pick up poop in your yard once a week than every. single. time. it happens. Yep. For a while I had three dogs, each of whom shit twice a day. If I have to scoop up 42 piles a week, what’s it matter to me if there are 3 or 4 more? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/37 "2014-03-04T17:04:40Z")
Threads like this make me glad I spent the time training our dogs to shit in the woods. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/38 "2014-03-04T17:22:22Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Threads like this make me glad I spent the time training our dogs to shit in the woods. 😉 Wow, you have pet bears? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/39 "2014-03-04T17:27:30Z")
Never stick your hand in the crazy. By escalating things with this person, you just jumped feet-first into the crazy. This will not end well. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823/40 "2014-03-04T17:33:14Z")
> [@Kelevra](#): > > Oh, I know I behaved badly but the emotions got the best of me. In the future I will act as I had in the past: Don’t walk by her house; don’t engage her. If she accosts me again I will smile and wave or perhaps blow kisses. It would probably be more annoying to her. I don’t think you behaved badly, if she confronted you three times, she was a fucking nutjob. I wouldn’t blame the husband for his crazy wife. Give him the benefit of the doubt, you’ve had three run ins with his wife and called her a fucking “crazy nutjob” on one of those occasions, he has to deal with a fucking crazy wife every day and probably calls her a crazy nutjob once a month. I also have a pet peeve (ooh I’m so clever) about dogs shitting on my lawn. I thought I knew who was doing it but she kept denying it and then she moved away and noone ever shit on my lawn again. If the problem ever starts again, I am going to get one of those motion sensor camera/watersprinkler combinations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-started-a-war-with-a-neighbor/682823.md?page=3)