# Today I will..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2000, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611 "2000-03-10T17:58:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/41 "2000-03-10T21:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Democritus: > \*\*Today I will: > > > [@](#): > > > > took the lint picker upper to my furniture and removed enough cat hair to make 3 more cats, > > throw up.\*\* Get a grip, Dem. I said cat hair, not raw sewage. Today I will gather up cat hair and send it to Dem’s house, with a little bomb inside the package so when he opens it, cat hair will go everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/42 "2000-03-10T21:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Michelle: > \*\* Today I will gather up cat hair and send it to Dem’s house, with a little bomb inside the package so when he opens it, cat hair will go everywhere.\*\* Now **that’s** funny. Not like joking about devouring the flesh of a beloved fellow poster who only wants to roast and eat your pets. – Uke, with a little parsley on the side ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/43 "2000-03-10T22:02:00Z")
Today I already … Met my goals posted above with the exception of b (watching the Spanish channel) and e (new record in FreeCell – I came close though! I got up to 19, I need 23 to break my record). Successfully avoided letters f-h (helpful, useful things). Laughed out loud at the duckling recipe and what followed. Called the doctor (I told you I was sick!) and got an appointment for 2:20 p.m. Went back to bed and had a vivid dream about making doctors’ appointments. Now I can’t be sure I really called the doctor’s office this morning. I sure hope so! ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/44 "2000-03-10T22:15:00Z")
Finish consuming the half-pound bag of jellybeans I purchased only an hour and half ago. Contemplate the infinite cuteness of **jazzmine’s** duckies. Continue monitoring thread for new recipe ideas from posters. Pray to be taken back in time to earlier today, with the knowledge that half a pound of jellybeans in one sitting is never a good idea. * * * Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa… ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/45 "2000-03-10T22:31:00Z")
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROFLMAO!!! That’s the FUNNIEST thread hijack I’ve seen yet! Priceless, absolutely PRICELESS!! 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 * * * Seen on billboard near home: Don’t make me come down there. God ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/46 "2000-03-10T23:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Watch the Spanish channel and see if I can figure out what their saying. I find that I am hypnotized by the local India-TV channel. On weekends they play all kinds of music videos, and while the women’s voices generally sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, and the men are almost universally ugly, there’s something about those dorky, bizarre dances they do that keeps me mesmerized… EEEEK!!! * * * [**StoryTyler**](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage) “Not everybody does it, but everybody should.” ---
**Author:** ![inertia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@inertia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inertia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/47 "2000-03-10T23:56:00Z")
Pluto: “Set a new record for consecutive wins at FreeCell” My statistics are: Total: 87% Won: 557 Lost: 86 Wins: 45 Losses: 3 \ Current: 1 win Athena: “And PSS, to all you “let the dog in & out x 10 people” - buy a dog door. You’ll never believe the freedom it brings” I got a cat door for my babies. Now all I’ve got to contend with is Boo (that’s the black one) bringing in live rodents and birds to show off. Today I will . . . Go to work Take a nap Goof off on SDMB Fix something that’s broken Rant about something else being broken Goof off on SDMB Go straight home even though I’m supposed to go work out tonight Drink some milk Check my Yahoo!!! Classifieds e-mail. Goof off on SDMB Drink some beer or wine or a few Godmothers (it’s a drink). Sleepy time, good night. I’ve got a long day at the casino planned for tomorrow. Wish me luck. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/48 "2000-03-11T00:02:00Z")
Talk to about 30-40 computer illiterate idiots who are mad at me, like it’s my fault that they tried to install Linux and now it’s all hosed. Then, since it’s friday, I will go to my bar and drink myself blind. I guess by then it will be tomorrow, so it’s not things I’ll do today. I guess all I’m going to do today is talk to folks and post here. VvvVWelcome to my hellVvvV * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/49 "2000-03-11T00:35:00Z")
Oops! Laughing so hard I forgot to answer the thread! ## Do dishes._sigh_ laundry. play with pets. take kids to soccer games. laugh at posts! chat with VB for couple of hours. Seen on billboard near home: Don’t make me come down there. God ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/50 "2000-03-11T05:47:00Z")
Tomorrow I will: [ul][li]Clean out my car[/li][li]Bleach my eyebrows (that’s right; I’m not a natural redhead)[/li][li]do laundry[/li][li]practice 10-key[/li][li]work out[/li][li]choose and cast a courage spell for my friend’s mom, who’s going to have surgery[/li][li]go see “Boiler Room” with Mr. Rilch[/li][li]get that cross-stitch motto framed already[/ul][/li] I’ll let you know how many I actually do. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/51 "2000-03-11T23:00:00Z")
Today is almost gone, but tomorrow I will: - go out and get myself a decent meal, fast food or not, and leave the vegetarian and the dieter to their own damn devices; - clean out the car as I can’t hardly see out the back window any more; - fast forward thru half a dozen unlabelled videotapes stacked up here, to see what’s so damned important that they have to be saved for posterity; - look thru about a dozen sections of newspaper set aside for some mysterious reason; - buy the Mr. a new can of spray starch so he can iron his own shirts; - watch “Eyes Wide Shut” before returning it to videostore. ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/52 "2000-03-11T23:07:00Z")
- get my blood work done. - get reprints of some old negatives. - wish shelan a happy birthday. - demand a tailbone x-ray. - figure out what the hell is going on, and maybe, just maybe stop feeling sorry for myself. * * * if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611/53 "2000-03-12T01:25:00Z")
Today I’ve already: -Gotten up after three hours of sleep. -Cleaned my kitchen -Worked on my laundry -Cleaned my living room -Hosted my cousin’s 8th birthday party -Cleaned my kitchen again Tonight, I will: -Put my boy in bed early -Come back to the computer and stay on it till about four a.m., before turning in for another four hours of sleep. * * * “I like toast.” 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/today-i-will/14611.md?page=2)