# Today's Coded Message **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2001, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301 "2001-10-24T12:51:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/1 "2001-10-24T12:51:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Dave Letterman was joined by (not available at your clearance) for the tax-free phased plasma rifle. I repeat– > [@](#): > > Dave Letterman was joined by (not available at your clearance) for the tax-free phased plasma rifle. Please burn before reading. Fnord ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/2 "2001-10-24T13:02:08Z")
The elephant has been immersed in Velveeta! Raise the purple underwear and skip merrily to victory! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/3 "2001-10-24T13:23:23Z")
Weatherwax has three {3} balls of Chutney to photostat. The mica is in the red breadbox. BROCA TIGER ALICE. Over. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/4 "2001-10-24T13:28:51Z")
The Ferrets and Stoats have reached the pasturised river bank . . . Over ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/5 "2001-10-24T13:30:50Z")
It has come to our attention that \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* last \*\*\*\*\*\*. While we \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* we are \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* that \*\*\* is \*\*\*\* part of our directive. All staff \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* or \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* must \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* by the \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* of \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*. Thank you and have a \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* day. ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/6 "2001-10-24T13:34:37Z")
Meow, meow rowr meow mrow meow meow rowr mrow purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… catspeak rules! ---
**Author:** ![moe.ron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed8c4c/32.png) [@moe.ron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moe.ron)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/7 "2001-10-24T14:11:44Z")
The cheese is old and moldy, where is the bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/8 "2001-10-24T14:16:49Z")
Thanks, guys, I just spit hot black coffee all over my monitor. [sub]I wasn’t laughing or anything like that, I just spit coffee all over my monitor ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/9 "2001-10-24T14:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Thanks, guys, I just spit hot black coffee all over my monitor. > > [sub]I wasn’t laughing or anything like that, I just spit coffee all over my monitor [/sub]\*\* \*\*WHAT?!? [sub]Ukulele Ike\*\*-- you want us to do that?[/sub] Well, OK–you’re the **Illuminated Grand Commissar** , I’m just a lowly **Lesser Gilded Censor**. _OK PEOPLE! LISTEN UP! Coded message from Ike!_ It says– > [@](#): > > \*\*Thanks, guys, I just spit hot black coffee all over my monitor. > [sub]I wasn’t laughing or anything like that, I just spit coffee all over my monitor[/sub] \*\* De-coded that reads– > [@](#): > > Eviscerate The Assyrians With Trombones ASAP . So… GET STARTED, ALREADY. The Unkuleleied One Has Spoken. Fnord. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/10 "2001-10-24T15:25:39Z")
The conductor told Timmy his horn was sharp. My clarinet is in the shop, but the bongos are on order. Rachmaninoff is dead and we stuffed him in the tuba. OVER ---
**Author:** ![Syzygy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Syzygy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syzygy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/11 "2001-10-24T15:44:31Z")
My hovercraft is full of eels. Only tessellated wombats are flat. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/12 "2001-10-24T15:58:47Z")
The cheese is upstairs with the umbrella. Return the platypus to Sears, immediately. Do not forget the cardboard David Hasselhoff. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/13 "2001-10-24T16:11:23Z")
I did not have sexual relations with THAT woman. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/14 "2001-10-24T16:26:29Z")
Send three and six pence we’re going to a Ball. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/15 "2001-10-24T16:27:22Z")
Two million Elvis fans can’t be wrong. The green guppy lives. FNORD! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/16 "2001-10-24T17:19:30Z")
My testicles smell like gouda. Repeat… My testicles smell like gouda. You think I should use a powder for that or something? ---
**Author:** ![blur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@blur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blur)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/17 "2001-10-24T17:19:50Z")
If you sent away for your **Junior blur camper** secret decoder glasses, you should be able to solve the following riddle: If you know the answer to the above riddle, send 23 proofs of purchase, $17.08 and a SADE to the Junior blur campers, and you can be qualified for the grand prize. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/18 "2001-10-24T17:39:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\*The cheese is upstairs with the umbrella. > > Return the platypus to Sears, immediately. > > Do not forget the cardboard David Hasselhoff. \*\* ATTENTION SPECIAL AGENT **SKERRI** : NEGATIVE! NEGATIVE! Disregard cardboard David Hasselhoff! Do not forget the plywood David Hasselhoff. If cardboard David Hasselhoff, all is lost! Also–_The Moose Is In The Loo. Pass The Paper._ Over. ---
**Author:** ![boomvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@boomvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boomvark)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/19 "2001-10-24T19:51:55Z")
The football has two of the monkeys pinned, and the goat is eating the duct tape. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_Hat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f0a364/32.png) [@Bad\_Hat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_Hat)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301/20 "2001-10-24T20:19:19Z")
tonight on Must See TV, Rachel tells the rest of the friends what they’ve been suspecting all along. Looks like Ross is a daddy!!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-coded-message/89301.md?page=2)