# Today's literary output

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-literary-output/524520>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 11, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-literary-output/524520 "2010-01-11T16:43:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\
**Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-literary-output/524520/1 "2010-01-11T16:43:46Z")

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I promised myself I would write every day now that I’ve been laid off. Ok, it’s not Chekov (or even Scotty).

Today’s literary production, “The 12 Barfs of Christmas”:  
(inspired by “We Are the World”)

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
eight hard boiled eggs,  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
nine pats of butter,  
eight hard boiled eggs,  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
ten cigarette butts,  
nine pats of butter,  
eight hard boiled eggs,  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
eleven chicken bones,  
ten cigarette butts,  
nine pats of butter,  
eight hard boiled eggs,  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love barfed for me  
twelve turkey necks,  
eleven chicken bones,  
ten cigarette butts,  
nine pats of butter,  
eight hard boiled eggs,  
seven scoops of ice cream,  
six pints of gravy,  
FIVE GOLDEN CHUNKSSSS,  
four rabbit turds,  
three fruitcakes,  
two cat hairballs,  
and a fifth of Jack Daniels whiskey

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\
**Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-literary-output/524520/2 "2010-01-11T17:22:36Z")

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> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> I promised myself I would write every day now that I’ve been laid off.

I have a bad feeling about this.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-literary-output/524520/3 "2010-01-11T17:35:02Z")

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No offense, but I prefer my own Five out of the Twelve “Days of Christmas”

> **[I give Pepper Mill the first Five of the Twelve Days of Christmas.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=546237)**
>
> Romantic Fool that I am, I wanted to give Pepper Mill gifts approximating the Days of Christmas. I stopped at Five because I ran out of time, and I didn’t want to repeat myself. I didn’t want her to get, say, cutouts of Six Geese A’Laying followed by...