# Today's totally baffling right wing quote **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 25, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369 "2004-08-25T00:48:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/21 "2004-08-25T06:23:44Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > No, he’s the weatherman on Good Morning America. > > You’re thinking of Marlin Perkins. No, it was Tony Perkins. “There was Rita, looking just like Tony Perkins” - Dylan, Motopsycho Nighmare. Cheney, by the way, _is_ Norman Bates. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/22 "2004-08-25T07:42:38Z")
> [@spectrum](#): > > Dick Cheney as a human being Whoa, whoa…easy now. Let’s not go making wild accusations… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/23 "2004-08-25T07:55:19Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > No, he’s the weatherman on Good Morning America. > > You’re thinking of Marlin Perkins. No, that was the Mutual of Omaha guy. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/24 "2004-08-25T08:09:50Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > How in the world does gay marriage “threaten” straight marriage, anyway? Are we replacing the latter with the former? Will EVERYONE be forced to marry their own gender? > > 'Cause that’s how the anti-SSM people act: "We CAN’T legalize Same Sex Marriage! If we do, everyone will have to turn _ **GAY!!"** _ No, no, no. See, you’re just getting all hysterical, and that’s only hurting your cause! That’s just _silly_, a completely indefensible argument. The arguments against same-sex marriage are perfectly logical and valid. You see, [calling same-sex couples “married” is an INSULT to REAL married couples](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270998). The reasons should be _obvious_, and we’re not going to bother to explain it to you. See, it’s different. Nothing _personal_, you understand, it’s just **insulting** for homos to compare their love to proper, non-perverted heterosexual love. I’m not a bigot, you understand. It’s just a difference of opinion, and I don’t see why you’re getting so worked up about it. I just believe that the rights, status, and happiness of homosexuals should be left to the majority of heterosexuals in each state to decide. I mean, it’s only fair, right? What? Now you’re getting _angry_? Sheesh. Typical. See if I ever try to explain myself to YOUR KIND again. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/25 "2004-08-25T11:36:05Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > No, that was the Mutual of Omaha guy. No, I’m pretty sure Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kindom was hosted by Whooshy McWhooshmeister. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/26 "2004-08-25T12:33:01Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > No, I’m pretty sure Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kindom was hosted by Whooshy McWhooshmeister. 😉 Are you sure? I checked IMDB and I can’t find a listing for Wooshy McWooshmeister… ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/27 "2004-08-25T13:04:02Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Are you sure? I checked IMDB and I can’t find a listing for Wooshy McWooshmeister… You have to look him up under his stage name, Spuds McKenzie. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/28 "2004-08-25T13:24:25Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Dickhead Cheney gets _no_ credit for this blatant craven dishonest political maneuver. Fuck him and his asshole boss. Amen. Does this count as a flip-flop-flip, or is the only Democrats that flip and flop? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/29 "2004-08-25T13:49:34Z")
Tony Perkins is: a) Against same sex marriage b) Founder of Perkins restaurants c) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/30 "2004-08-25T13:57:47Z")
Mr. Cheney’s position is absolutely correct: > [@](#): > > Historically, that’s been a relationship that has been handled by the states. The states have made that fundamental decision of what constitutes a marriage," he said. The regulation of marriage is a state issue. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/31 "2004-08-25T14:11:48Z")
> [@GLWasteful](#): > > Yeah, but that means that they would have to. . .you know. . .have sex. > > And that’s something that I just can’t condone. Because it might lead to dancing. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/32 "2004-08-25T14:15:17Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Mr. Cheney’s position is absolutely correct: > > The regulation of marriage is a state issue. I hope you enjoyed that heaping helping of missed-the-point while you extruded yet one more “I don’t want homos to get married so I’ll hide behind the skirts of the states” post… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/33 "2004-08-25T14:22:48Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Tony Perkins is: > > a) Against same sex marriage > b) Founder of Perkins restaurants > c) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife Was that meant as a list or a multiple-choice question? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/34 "2004-08-25T14:34:29Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Was that meant as a list or a multiple-choice question? a) It was a list b) It was a multiple-choice question c) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/35 "2004-08-25T14:34:52Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Tony Perkins is… [h]ack her to death with a kitchen knife Is this right after he burning your dog? ---
**Author:** ![GLWasteful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f05b48/32.png) [@GLWasteful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GLWasteful)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/36 "2004-08-25T14:35:58Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Because it might lead to dancing. And if history has taught us anything, it’s that dancing leads inexorably toward homosexuality, pornography, self abuse, divorce and the consumption of kittens. And that, I think you’ll agree, is not the direction that we want society headed in. Well, except for kitten consumption. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/37 "2004-08-25T14:36:46Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > No, no, no. See, you’re just getting all hysterical, and that’s only hurting your cause! That’s just _silly_, a completely indefensible argument. > > The arguments against same-sex marriage are perfectly logical and valid. You see, [calling same-sex couples “married” is an INSULT to REAL married couples](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270998). The reasons should be _obvious_, and we’re not going to bother to explain it to you. See, it’s different. Nothing _personal_, you understand, it’s just **insulting** for homos to compare their love to proper, non-perverted heterosexual love. > > I’m not a bigot, you understand. It’s just a difference of opinion, and I don’t see why you’re getting so worked up about it. I just believe that the rights, status, and happiness of homosexuals should be left to the majority of heterosexuals in each state to decide. I mean, it’s only fair, right? > > What? Now you’re getting _angry_? Sheesh. Typical. See if I ever try to explain myself to YOUR KIND again. I disagree; it’s because I’ll be forced to have sex with another man; that’s right! ANOTHER one, and it might be Liam Neeson or something, I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/38 "2004-08-25T14:41:30Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I hope you enjoyed that heaping helping of missed-the-point while you extruded yet one more “I don’t want homos to get married so I’ll hide behind the skirts of the states” post… What’s wrong with leaving the decision to legalize or recognize gay marriages up to the states? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/39 "2004-08-25T14:46:35Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Is this right after he burning your dog? _sigh_ I hate having to explain jokes to people. OK, it goes like this: There was this What? Sorry, hold on for a second. Yes, mother? But I… but… Yes, mother. Sorry, I have to go. Feel free to take a shower while I’m gone. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369/40 "2004-08-25T15:10:02Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > What’s wrong with leaving the decision to legalize or recognize gay marriages up to the states? **Otto** apparently believes that anyone who thinks marriage is an issue for the states to recognize is not actually a fan of federalism, but merely using that as a smokescreen for advance a hatred and persecution of gays. Or perhaps he merely believes that _I_ am merely using that as a smokescreen for advance a hatred and persecution of gays. I don’t know. In any event, my hatred and persecution is somewhat limited: I support civil unions that would permit the full legal effects of marriage, and I believe that this decision should be enacted at the state level. This makes me a ferverent bigot, you see. - Rick [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/todays-totally-baffling-right-wing-quote/261369.md?page=3)