No, it was Tony Perkins.
“There was Rita, looking just like Tony Perkins” - Dylan, Motopsycho Nighmare.
Cheney, by the way, is Norman Bates. 
Whoa, whoa…easy now. Let’s not go making wild accusations…
No, that was the Mutual of Omaha guy.
No, no, no. See, you’re just getting all hysterical, and that’s only hurting your cause! That’s just silly, a completely indefensible argument.
The arguments against same-sex marriage are perfectly logical and valid. You see, calling same-sex couples “married” is an INSULT to REAL married couples. The reasons should be obvious, and we’re not going to bother to explain it to you. See, it’s different. Nothing personal, you understand, it’s just insulting for homos to compare their love to proper, non-perverted heterosexual love.
I’m not a bigot, you understand. It’s just a difference of opinion, and I don’t see why you’re getting so worked up about it. I just believe that the rights, status, and happiness of homosexuals should be left to the majority of heterosexuals in each state to decide. I mean, it’s only fair, right?
What? Now you’re getting angry? Sheesh. Typical. See if I ever try to explain myself to YOUR KIND again.
No, I’m pretty sure Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kindom was hosted by Whooshy McWhooshmeister. 
Are you sure? I checked IMDB and I can’t find a listing for Wooshy McWooshmeister…
You have to look him up under his stage name, Spuds McKenzie.
Amen. Does this count as a flip-flop-flip, or is the only Democrats that flip and flop?
Tony Perkins is:
a) Against same sex marriage
b) Founder of Perkins restaurants
c) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife
Mr. Cheney’s position is absolutely correct:
The regulation of marriage is a state issue.
Because it might lead to dancing.
I hope you enjoyed that heaping helping of missed-the-point while you extruded yet one more “I don’t want homos to get married so I’ll hide behind the skirts of the states” post…
Was that meant as a list or a multiple-choice question?
a) It was a list
b) It was a multiple-choice question
c) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife
Is this right after he burning your dog?
And if history has taught us anything, it’s that dancing leads inexorably toward homosexuality, pornography, self abuse, divorce and the consumption of kittens.
And that, I think you’ll agree, is not the direction that we want society headed in.
Well, except for kitten consumption.
I disagree; it’s because I’ll be forced to have sex with another man; that’s right! ANOTHER one, and it might be Liam Neeson or something, I dunno.
What’s wrong with leaving the decision to legalize or recognize gay marriages up to the states?
sigh I hate having to explain jokes to people. OK, it goes like this: There was this
What?
Sorry, hold on for a second.
Yes, mother? But I… but… Yes, mother.
Sorry, I have to go. Feel free to take a shower while I’m gone.
Otto apparently believes that anyone who thinks marriage is an issue for the states to recognize is not actually a fan of federalism, but merely using that as a smokescreen for advance a hatred and persecution of gays.
Or perhaps he merely believes that I am merely using that as a smokescreen for advance a hatred and persecution of gays.
I don’t know.
In any event, my hatred and persecution is somewhat limited: I support civil unions that would permit the full legal effects of marriage, and I believe that this decision should be enacted at the state level. This makes me a ferverent bigot, you see.
- Rick