# Toddler logic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242 "2009-08-21T21:18:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/1 "2009-08-21T21:18:22Z")
So the little Torqueling is at 2 years and 4 months of age, and talking like she’s afraid the words will fill up her mouth if she stops. And ordinarily, it’s pretty amazing how well she already understands the ins and outs of English. Every once in a while, though, something comes out that you just. did. not. expect. She was getting a pillow off the top of the chest at the foot of our bed. There were also some folded clothes on the chest, which started falling onto the floor. “Uh oh,” I said, “you’re making a big mess! Momma’s not gonna be happy!” “Huh?” she said, so I repeated it. “Okay,” she said, got her pillow, and jogged merrily out into the living room, where my wife was. I guess she wanted to verify what I had said. In a loud clear voice, she said, **"Momma, I made a big mess! Are you happy?"** I laughed for about five solid minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/2 "2009-08-21T21:29:58Z")
For a time, whenever we told our 2.5 - 3.0 year old to do something she didn’t want to do, she would explain that she couldn’t do it because it would make her fall down and go boom. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/3 "2009-08-22T12:33:57Z")
That is so adorable! Can’t wait until I have my own little Serenata-spawn. Okay, that sounds menacing… I have some time to figure it out… Anyway, she sounds like a doll. She made a complete stranger laugh because she’s so cute! ---
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/4 "2009-08-22T15:55:58Z")
Now is the time to teach Arabic and Chinese, intensive, serious teaching. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/5 "2009-08-22T16:03:12Z")
You can’t just go around speculating like that, and not be held accountable. The kid likes to fact-check. Good on her. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/6 "2009-08-22T17:13:02Z")
When I was about three, living in Japan, my mom and I were at the O-Club. There was a dog outside and I was speaking Japanese to it. My mom asked me why I was speaking Japanese to the dog. I said, ‘It’s a Japanese dog!’ (Duh!) ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/7 "2009-08-22T17:21:41Z")
My daughter hasn’t picked up on the speaking so well yet, she can understand pretty well, but her diction isn’t very good so she’s hard to understand, as such I think it frustrates her that she can’t explain what she wants. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/8 "2009-08-22T17:41:50Z")
I love the stories! My step-granddaughter Leanne is 2, and she’s not in a “no” phase: she’s in an “it’s out of the question” phase. The first time she said it in front of me, I had to cough and almost choke in order to camouflage the laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/9 "2009-08-22T18:00:20Z")
For his first two years of life, The Nephew had two aunts (MJ and me), two uncles (Lilbro and SiLBro), two grannies and a grandpa. Well, those were the close ones, as every female friend of his parents would be aunt something, every male friend uncle whatever, and friends of his maternal grandparents would be granny this and grandpa that. He saw MJ pretty much every weekend; she was SiLBro’s girlfriend and they would spend almost every weekend at my brother’s house, on account of the aforementioned grandpa being very, very sick. And, as she worked as a publicist in a toy factory, every visit MJ would bring one or two new toys (so new, in fact, that they were prototypes). Then MJ broke up with SiLBro. And for the next few weeks, The Nephew threatened every single “auntie,” “grandma” and so forth with “if you do that again, I’ll stop being your (Nephew)!” The poor kid needed to get a clear map of which “family” was there to stay and which was optional… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/10 "2009-08-22T18:14:12Z")
3-yr-old niece: “Can I have a piece of candy?” Adult: “No.” Niece, in a voice of astonishment: “But I \*like \*candy!” ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/11 "2009-08-22T18:20:01Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > she’s in an “it’s out of the question” phase. I recently visited some friends with a very sharp 2-year-old. She has taken to responding to inconvenient inquiries (e.g. “Who took all the clothes out of their drawers and put them on the floor?”) with “No ask that question!” ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/12 "2009-08-22T23:22:34Z")
Learning to read, and thus reading everything out loud, my parents burst out laughing when we were crossing a bridge that had a sign, denoting it as a landmark. “What is a _hysterical_ marker?” I asked, mispronouncing the word somewhat. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/13 "2009-08-22T23:27:31Z")
The Button Boy, our 3 year old, brings smiles to my face every single day. One of his latest was when **Verrain** was bringing me a glass of juice and he very solemnly told me, “Mama, if you drink juice, you’ll turn into one.” I have absolutely no idea where it came from since I don’t remember anyone telling him anything like that, but it brightened my night. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/14 "2009-08-22T23:31:00Z")
> [@TruePisces](#): > > The Button Boy, our 3 year old, brings smiles to my face every single day. One of his latest was when **Verrain** was bringing me a glass of juice and he very solemnly told me, “Mama, if you drink juice, you’ll turn into one.” One of what? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/15 "2009-08-22T23:32:38Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > One of what? 😕 A juice, I supposed. It’s toddler logic, after all! ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/16 "2009-08-23T00:55:55Z")
A piece of toddler logic from my son, who was maybe 3 at the time: “If cowboys ride horses, do horseboys ride cows?” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/17 "2009-08-23T04:06:51Z")
> [@TruePisces](#): > > A juice, I supposed. It’s toddler logic, after all! Or, possibly, a Jew. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/18 "2009-08-23T04:18:42Z")
Last week, I told my 2 year old daughter she couldn’t have her milk until she had finished her sandwich. I could almost see the little cogs turning in her brain as she took the plate over to the rubbish, threw the sandwich in the bin and turned to me to announce, “sandwich finished Mummy. Now milk!” ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/19 "2009-08-23T05:55:18Z")
A friend’s grandson would announce in all seriousness “I need to go play.” Well… yes… that is so profoundly true… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/20 "2009-08-23T05:59:05Z")
My sister was born back when they had glass baby bottles. I’m told that when she was little she’d sit in her high chair, hold the bottle at arm’s length, say ‘UH-oh!’ and then drop it on the floor. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242.md?page=2)