# Toddler logic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242 "2009-08-21T21:18:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lord\_Derfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lord\_Derfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Derfel)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/41 "2009-08-27T19:15:57Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > One from my older daughter at two > > “Rachel, take your finger out of your nose” > “Mummy, go outside.” > “Why?” > “So I can put my finger in my nose” Parroting your parent’s distraction techniques must be a two year old thing. My son, at 2: Me: “D, don’t throw your baseball in the flower garden.” D (pointing to the other side of the yard): “Daddy, go look at the barbecue” About a month or two ago, he came running upstairs at full speed. D: “Mummy doesn’t have a penis!” (He’s known this for a long time, who knows why it suddenly became important) Me: “That’s right, mummy is a girl. Girls d-” D: “She needs one! We have to go buy her a penis!” I can barely speak with laughter at this point. Me: “Where do we buy one?” D: “The mall! Let’s go!” ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/42 "2009-08-27T22:42:03Z")
> [@Lord\_Derfel](#): > > About a month or two ago, he came running upstairs at full speed. > D: “Mummy doesn’t have a penis!” (He’s known this for a long time, who knows why it suddenly became important) > Me: “That’s right, mummy is a girl. Girls d-” > D: “She needs one! We have to go buy her a penis!” > I can barely speak with laughter at this point. > Me: “Where do we buy one?” > D: “The mall! Let’s go!” LOL! I love it! Toddlers really DO have their own logic. I threw Buttons a few months ago when it came to brushing teeth. Buttons was standing in front of the sink, toothbrush in hand, brushing his front teeth. When I reminded him that he needed to brush the ones in the back. He looked at me, very confused, then reached behind him to try to brush the teeth… in the back. I don’t think I could breath for laughter for about… oh, 10 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/43 "2009-08-28T01:44:03Z")
When my nephew was about three, he was trying to force his left foot into his right shoe. I told him he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He started to cry telling me they were the only feet he had. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/44 "2009-08-28T18:38:14Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > I told him he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He started to cry telling me they were the only feet he had. You win the thread!!! Thanks for making my day. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/45 "2009-08-28T18:45:48Z")
The Small One wanted an extra popsicle, and my wife said she could not have one. When the Small One asked why, Mommy explained that too many popsicles woulde make her sick. So the Small One thought for a moment, and then made a big, phony sneeze. Then she said, “Mommy, I’m sick already, can I have a Popsicle now?” Three and a half and already devious. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/46 "2009-08-28T18:49:02Z")
> [@Lord\_Derfel](#): > > Parroting your parent’s distraction techniques must be a two year old thing. My son, at 2: > Me: “D, don’t throw your baseball in the flower garden.” > D (pointing to the other side of the yard): “Daddy, go look at the barbecue” > > About a month or two ago, he came running upstairs at full speed. > D: “Mummy doesn’t have a penis!” (He’s known this for a long time, who knows why it suddenly became important) > Me: “That’s right, mummy is a girl. Girls d-” > D: “She needs one! We have to go buy her a penis!” > I can barely speak with laughter at this point. > Me: “Where do we buy one?” > D: “The mall! Let’s go!” “Don’t worry son, I’ll lend her mine if she needs it . . .” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/47 "2009-08-28T19:52:39Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > When my nephew was about three, he was trying to force his left foot into his right shoe. I told him he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He started to cry telling me they were the only feet he had. OOOHH!! Poor little guy. ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/48 "2009-08-28T20:02:39Z")
My daughter was just over 2 years, and it was 9:30 p.m: Kid: Let’s go to the zoo. Wife: It’s closed. Kid: Then open it. Wife: We can’t. Kid: Is it stuck? Same kid, almost 3 years, going home on a very cold winter night: Me: Roll up your window. I’m freezing my 'nads off. Kid: I’m not cold. _I’m_ freezing my 'nads _on_! ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/49 "2009-08-28T20:07:51Z")
At a town meeting in a school cafeteria, my 2-year-old daughter needed to potty. I took her into the men’s room. She wanted to use a urinal. I explained that one must have a penis to use a urinal. Somehow she must have gotten confused, because upon reentering the town meeting she shouted across the cafeteria “I saw Dad’s penis!” ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/50 "2009-08-28T21:05:59Z")
When my oldest son Andrew was two, we were working with him on everyone in our family’s names. We would ask him “who is that?” (point to mommy). "What’s her other name? “Christina”, etcetera. We had my cousin Barry over one night, and his last name is Haynes. I asked Andrew “Who is that” and pointed to him. He said “Barry” “Barry what?” I said He paused and said “Barry…good?” We were in stitches. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/51 "2009-08-28T23:20:16Z")
Had some more fun with Bruiser tonight. He’s clearly getting how things work around here. I had poured myself a beer and he asked what it was, then said he wanted some. I told him to go ask Mommy first and he immediately decided he didn’t want any. Then he played “I’m stuck” by leaning on the couch and calling for Mommy. I told him to go show Mommy (on the other side of the room) that he was stuck. _Almost_ fell for it. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/52 "2009-08-28T23:38:18Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Had some more fun with Bruiser tonight. He’s clearly getting how things work around here. > > I had poured myself a beer and he asked what it was, then said he wanted some. I told him to go ask Mommy first and he immediately decided he didn’t want any. > > Then he played “I’m stuck” by leaning on the couch and calling for Mommy. I told him to go show Mommy (on the other side of the room) that he was stuck. _Almost_ fell for it. My sons will fetch me beers out of the fridge, but after both expressing interest in tasting “Daddy’s beer” and then trying it, they both say “disgusting!” if I offer them a sip anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/53 "2009-08-29T00:47:54Z")
> [@Rhodes](#): > > At a town meeting in a school cafeteria, my 2-year-old daughter needed to potty. I took her into the men’s room. She wanted to use a urinal. I explained that one must have a penis to use a urinal. Somehow she must have gotten confused, because upon reentering the town meeting she shouted across the cafeteria “I saw Dad’s penis!” All the better reason to never use that word with her until she won’t shout it across a room. Why not just tell her they’re only for boys? She has things that are only for girls… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/54 "2009-08-29T03:26:33Z")
> [@Rhodes](#): > > My daughter was just over 2 years, and it was 9:30 p.m: > > Kid: Let’s go to the zoo. > Wife: It’s closed. > Kid: Then open it. > Wife: We can’t. > Kid: Is it stuck? > > Same kid, almost 3 years, going home on a very cold winter night: > > Me: Roll up your window. I’m freezing my 'nads off. > Kid: I’m not cold. _I’m_ freezing my 'nads _on_! That reminds me of one that happened at a little older age. My son was 5. His best friend lived a few doors down. His friends dad was on a softball team; the NADS. It was pretty embarrassing to sit in the stands with two boys shouting, “GO NADS!” at the tops of their lungs. ---
**Author:** ![QuercusMax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/8baadc/32.png) [@QuercusMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuercusMax)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/55 "2009-08-29T03:40:19Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > That reminds me of one that happened at a little older age. My son was 5. His best friend lived a few doors down. His friends dad was on a softball team; the NADS. It was pretty embarrassing to sit in the stands with two boys shouting, “GO NADS!” at the tops of their lungs. Wouldn’t that be the only reason you would name your team that? So that people would yell “Go Nads!”? Unless you’re a really big fan of Australian hair-removal products… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/56 "2009-08-29T03:42:49Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > My sons will fetch me beers out of the fridge, but after both expressing interest in tasting “Daddy’s beer” and then trying it, they both say “disgusting!” if I offer them a sip anymore. A friend of mine tried that with his ~3-year-old daughter, giving her a sip when she wanted some of Daddy’s beer. The problem is, she loved it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/57 "2009-08-29T05:12:49Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > A friend of mine tried that with his ~3-year-old daughter, giving her a sip when she wanted some of Daddy’s beer. The problem is, she loved it. :eek: My three year old daughter went through a phase of loving Daddy’s beer, and his bourbon and coke. She also has a way of saying “I love [thing], I _love_ it!” She’d come up to me and say, “whatta drinkin Daddy? Is it beer? can I have some? please?” Then I give her a little slurp and she says “mmm, I looove beer, I _love_ it.” The good news is that she doesn’t like it anymore, I think she never did, she just pretended to because she wanted to be like us. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/58 "2009-08-29T11:52:37Z")
The church I attend is adding an addition. The first step is a lot of ground moving. Little kids attending Mom’s Day Out there enjoy watching the diggers. One of said little kids summed up what he was observing this way “Make Big Mess. Time Out!” ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/59 "2009-08-29T14:00:48Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > When my nephew was about three, he was trying to force his left foot into his right shoe. I told him he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He started to cry telling me they were the only feet he had. That is so adorable! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242/60 "2009-08-29T14:50:16Z")
> [@QuercusMax](#): > > Wouldn’t that be the only reason you would name your team that? So that people would yell “Go Nads!”? Unless you’re a really big fan of Australian hair-removal products… It’s one thing to hear it from a bunch of sweaty, drunken men, it’s quite another from innocent 5 year olds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddler-logic/507242.md?page=4)