# Toddlers and Tiaras: There's crazy out there **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 30, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756 "2009-07-30T04:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/1 "2009-07-30T04:48:26Z")
Yeah, I know I should have known, but still…I really didn’t expect to see a woman enter her two-week-old son in a pageant, saying that she wanted to see if he had the interest in pageants and stage presence that his brother has. Huh? Really? It’s on TLC. I think I will keep watching, if only for the eye-rolling exercise. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/2 "2009-07-30T11:14:11Z")
I have no idea what it is but it seems that some people go absolutely insane when something concerns their little pwecious … and unfortunately most smallkids are not in a position to tell mommy to back the fuck off, all she or he wants to do is play with the legos in the back yard and get covered in mud :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/3 "2009-07-30T15:09:55Z")
There’s something distubingly compelling to me about any shows about pageants. It’s so completely outside my own experience. The behavior of the kids and parents is so outrageous that I pretty much convince myself that Christopher Guest is directing, that no _real_ mother would talk to her _real_ daughter like that. If I think about it too much I get a little horrified, and worry about what the future holds for these kids. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/4 "2009-07-30T15:33:05Z")
These pageant mothers need to get themselves a collection of Barbies and My Little Ponies and dress THEM up. They should let their kids be kids, and play in the mud. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/5 "2009-07-30T16:01:32Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Yeah, I know I should have known, but still…I really didn’t expect to see a woman enter her two-week-old son in a pageant, saying that she wanted to see if he had the interest in pageants and stage presence that his brother has. That’s just sad. A friend from years back couldn’t understand why her six-month-old wouldn’t listen when she told him to stop fussing. She actually spanked him. It’s scary, the number of parents who know nothing about child development. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/6 "2009-07-30T16:04:00Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > That’s just sad. A friend from years back couldn’t understand why her six-month-old wouldn’t listen when she told him to stop fussing. She actually spanked him. It’s scary, the number of parents who know nothing about child development. There are Christian fundamentalists who say that babies who cry for any reason other than hunger are engaging in deception and thus must be punished. I wish I were kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/7 "2009-07-30T16:47:20Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > These pageant mothers need to get themselves a collection of Barbies and My Little Ponies and dress THEM up. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say most mothers, at least mothers when they have their first or second child, like to dress up their babies and play with them like they are dolls. Now I don’t mean that as a rap, and they certainly don’t do it to an extreme, but I recall when I lived in the Florida Keys, and my landlord was buying all this fancy schmancy clothes for her baby (unborn at the time). “I want my baby to look nice,” she’d say. I replied, “This is FLORIDA, all that kid needs is a diaper.” Now I’m not a parent, so don’t take anything I saw with any sort of gospel, but parents, especially women, with their first or second kids, like to dress them up. Usually by the time the fifth or sixth child comes along the attitude changes to “Yeah, he’s running around naked, doing whatever he wants, eating whatever he wants, I don’t care, as long as he don’t stick his finger in the light socket.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/8 "2009-07-30T23:06:12Z")
I was eager to tune into this show just for the snark. I’m embarrassed to admit that my reason for watching was to look down my nose and snicker at the delusional alternate universe in which these pageant people live. I should have known better. I watched 40 minutes last night and had to turn it off in a blue funk of reality-show despair. I hated the parents, hated the kids, found nothing and nobody to root for or cheer against. Just awful parades of manipulated (and often bratty) kids, and adults who are manipulated by the kids themselves and the system. Lots of snark fodder which I can usually get onboard with, but this time, I wanted to have a laugh and I ended up with depression. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/9 "2009-07-31T01:37:20Z")
A good friend of mine in college did kiddie pageants from preschool until she was about 12 and rebelled. She was a very nice girl, but had some obvious issues with both her body image and her mother. I never met the mother, but she sounded about as psycho as one would expect. I know that even after my friend was in college her mother was always harping on her about how important it was to dress nicely and not look like either a slob or a whore. My friend once said, “You know, my earliest memories are of people judging me based on how I looked”, which about sums it up. She did say that even she was shocked by how girls in kiddie beauty pageants are dressed and made up these days; she says when she did it then at least they didn’t look like tiny strippers. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/10 "2009-07-31T01:45:04Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Yeah, I know I should have known, but still…I really didn’t expect to see a woman enter her two-week-old son in a pageant, saying that she wanted to see if he had the interest in pageants and stage presence that his brother has. > > Huh? > > Really? That lady was legitimately nuts. > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > These pageant mothers need to get themselves a collection of Barbies and My Little Ponies and dress THEM up. They should let their kids be kids, and play in the mud. A mother this week literally came out and said it was like having a life-sized doll. > [@Lamia](#): > > She did say that even she was shocked by how girls in kiddie beauty pageants are dressed and made up these days; she says when she did it then at least they didn’t look like tiny strippers. Yeah, I asked my wife during the last episode if she thought any of these girls realized that they were using overt sexual innuendo to woo the crowd and judges. A 4-year old ripping her skirt off and twirling it? A 10 year old doing splits while wearing a skirt the size of a handerkerchief? All of them blowing kisses and winking at the crowd? Come on. Did anyone see the mom that was blatantly playing the twins against each other and grossly favoring one, even saying matter-of-factly that she had a prettier face? Those girls are going to have some very serious issues. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/11 "2009-07-31T01:55:53Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Usually by the time the fifth or sixth child comes along the attitude changes to “Yeah, he’s running around naked, doing whatever he wants, eating whatever he wants, I don’t care, as long as he don’t stick his finger in the light socket.” There’s a parenting rule of thumb like that: When your first child drops his pacifier you run it through an autoclave before giving it back to him. When your second child drops his pacifier you wash it thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. When your third child drops his pacifier you wipe it off on your pants before giving it back. When your fourth child drops his pacifier you let the dog lick it off. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/12 "2009-07-31T02:02:10Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > She did say that even she was shocked by how girls in kiddie beauty pageants are dressed and made up these days; she says when she did it then at least they didn’t look like tiny strippers. Just watching the promos makes me want to bleach my eyeballs. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/13 "2009-07-31T02:09:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > There are Christian fundamentalists who say that babies who cry for any reason other than hunger are engaging in deception and thus must be punished. I wish I were kidding. Just to clarify, without snark, there are atheists who do the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/14 "2009-07-31T02:20:26Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Just to clarify, without snark, there are atheists who do the same thing. Cite. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/15 "2009-07-31T02:23:44Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Cite. Didn’t see Skald’s cite, and I don’t have one. Just don’t doubt that there are athiests who beat their babies for crying. I didn’t like the implication that christians are alone in beating their kids. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/16 "2009-07-31T06:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Just don’t doubt that there are athiests who beat their babies for crying. I didn’t like the implication that christians are alone in beating their kids. There are prolly, but there’s not an atheist philsophy about beating the kids. I forgot the details (been over ten years) but there was something out there that was some messed up " fundie Christian" philsophy that basicly stated that little kids crying are teh evil, and must be ignored. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/17 "2009-07-31T08:08:17Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > There’s a parenting rule of thumb like that: When your first child drops his pacifier you run it through an autoclave before giving it back to him. When your second child drops his pacifier you wash it thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. When your third child drops his pacifier you wipe it off on your pants before giving it back. When your fourth child drops his pacifier you let the dog lick it off. Yep. My parents saw something like that in the newspaper, and said it was more or less true. They also said that the first kid is the one who gets creamed spinach and strained liver, on the basis of that’s what’s good for him. And the last kid gets French fries and hot dogs, on the basis of that’s what he’ll eat with the least fuss. I was a first child. And yes, I got spinach and liver whether I wanted them or not. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/18 "2009-07-31T11:03:37Z")
Every time I catch a little bit of this show, I wonder how exactly one gets to a mental place where one can be spraying a tan onto a four year old without realizing “Whoa, this is Fucked Up.” I also fervently hope that someone from Child Services is watching, and taking notes. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/19 "2009-07-31T14:42:54Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I also fervently hope that someone from Child Services is watching, and taking notes. Bah, don’t be silly! Those kids are taken care of with an obsessive attention to detail that beggars the imagination. Their diet and exercise are monitored in a way that would make nutritionists and personal traders weep tears of envy. After all, they’re not just children - they’re investments! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756/20 "2009-07-31T14:43:27Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Every time I catch a little bit of this show, I wonder how exactly one gets to a mental place where one can be spraying a tan onto a four year old without realizing “Whoa, this is Fucked Up.” > > I also fervently hope that someone from Child Services is watching, and taking notes. After only a couple episodes, how many times have we already seen a mom say, “oh, she doesn’t mind it at all,” \ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toddlers-and-tiaras-theres-crazy-out-there/504756.md?page=2)