# Toilet humor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 5, 2002, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420 "2002-08-05T11:49:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/21 "2002-08-05T21:17:05Z")
Personally, I prefer to straddle the Continental Divide and let one kidney replenish the vast Pacific while the other flows eagerly toward the testy Atlantic. But if that’s not available I’m happy just marking a tree. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/22 "2002-08-05T22:21:29Z")
**SofaKing** , that’s over at [urinal.net](http://urinal.net/duchamp/). ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/23 "2002-08-05T23:07:24Z")
Great post, **Fenris** , and perfectly in keeping with the new policy of improving the SDMB’s image. 😉 Personally, I HATE public facilities of all kinds, especially the “man trough.” When I do have to use a public restroom, I head for the last stall and hope nobody notices how long I’m in there with my feet facing the wrong direction. Since I arrived at geezerhood, I have developed an enlargement of an organ. No, not _that_ organ. A benign enlargement of the prostate has reduced the former horse-like stream to a weak, squeeze-the-last-liquid-out-of-a-sponge dribble, and it takes much longer than for most men. So far nobody has mentioned anything, but I’ve seen a few sneers upon leaving a stall worse than the ones I used to get when some “Harry the horse” at the trough would cast a sidelong glance at little old me and snicker. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Ed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Just\_Ed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Ed)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/24 "2002-08-05T23:25:01Z")
I’m getting a rather odd mental image of this: > [@](#): > > . . . pissing in the horse-trough **and then** whipping out the Fenris-Tool[sup]tm[/sup]. [Emphasis added.] Dude, you’re pissing _before_ you whip it out? Yeah, I can see how that might be . . . _embarrassing_. Humiliating, even. [sup]Were you standing _in_ the trough at the time?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/25 "2002-08-05T23:45:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\ ***SofaKing** , that’s over at [urinal.net](http://urinal.net/duchamp/). \*\* Wow. That is the best website ever. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/26 "2002-08-06T00:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*I’m still fond of the increasingly rare up-above cast iron variety. The one with the cistern that never seems to quite fill so you need to yank the chain at least six times and loudly inform most of South London of your predicament. \*\* In a North Dublin accent. 😃 **Mangetout** , about the Amsterdam urinals. The plastic urinals are just for large events, such as the Gay Games, jazz festivals, Queens Day (not to be confused with Gay Pride ;)), and, well, _summer_, really. The rest of the year, the true Amsterdammer will relieve himself in a [krul](http://homepage1.nifty.com/~rkappers/gif/krul.jpg) (_“curl”_). They’re vanishing rapidly, though. Too bad, they’re hella cool. And old, too. Over a century of urine passed before you - just that sheer sense of history alone is worth it! Ah, there’s always the canals. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/27 "2002-08-06T00:26:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > Really, the best piss experience in the world is the _ **MIGHTY PISS** _ off a cliff. No one can disagree. > > … > > Thank you, **bodypoet**. It is through dialogue like this that we continue to explore the _vast chasm_ that divides men and women. And **Fenris** , don’t forget to do a _ **MIGHTY PISS** _ into that vast chasm, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/28 "2002-08-06T00:30:14Z")
If memory serves there’s a photo of you in action at one of those krul’s somewhere online… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/29 "2002-08-06T00:46:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quixotic \* > \*\*I’m getting a rather odd mental image of this: > [Emphasis added.] > > Dude, you’re pissing _before_ you whip it out? Yeah, I can see how that might be . . . _embarrassing_. Humiliating, even. > > [sup]Were you standing _in_ the trough at the time?[/sup] \*\* HUZ Z A H !!! You said the magic woid and won da prize! Every single Fenrispost[sup]TM[/sup] contains a single error. This error is deliberately introduced because Fenrisposts[sup]TM[/sup] are so good that they could blind one due to their perfection. The Fenrispost[sup]TM[/sup] error allows the post to be _near_ perfect without actually _being_ perfect. Congratulations, sir! You _are_ an eagle-eyed Gawd amongst men. Fenris, on behalf of Fenrisposts[sup]TM[/sup] Inc (ps: Either that, or well, the phrase shoulda read [quote] ) I always feel that I’m embarrassing my fellow-men when I’m standing shoulder-to-shoulder [with them and they are \* pissing in the horse-trough and then whipping out the Fenris-Tool[sup]tm[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/30 "2002-08-06T01:24:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\* I prefer the urban equivalent - the piss off the el or building top. \*\* Back in the 80’s while at the correction center at the 2nd floor of the YMCA, & the men were on the 6th floor, we called that the ‘trickle down effect’. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/31 "2002-08-06T01:41:45Z")
I wonder how long it will be before this thread begins to, er, peter out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/32 "2002-08-06T02:24:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\*If memory serves there’s a photo of you in action at one of those krul’s somewhere online… \*\* I have that shot, but I am not sure it ever got on line 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Grimace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Grimace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grimace)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/33 "2002-08-06T02:48:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > You said the magic woid and won da prize! > > Every single Fenrispost[sup]TM[/sup] contains a single error. This error is deliberately introduced because Fenrisposts[sup]TM[/sup] are so good that they could blind one due to their perfection. The Fenrispost[sup]TM[/sup] error allows the post to be _near_ perfect without actually _being_ perfect. \*\* OH! OH! Does that mean I can get a **no-prize** also for finding the **Obvious** Coding error found here? [quote] (ps: Either that, or well, the phrase shoulda read > [@](#): > > ) I always feel that I’m embarrassing my fellow-men when I’m standing shoulder-to-shoulder [with them and they are \* pissing in the horse-trough and then whipping out the Fenris-Tool[sup]tm[/sup] \*\* I mean, after all, we all know **Fenris** would never mess up simple vB code 😉 ---
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/34 "2002-08-06T05:55:15Z")
You see, **Grimace** , each individual post has to have an intentional error. (I’d let **Fenris** point this out, but then he’d have to make a _third_ error, and this could go on forever). **Fenris** , this part had me laughing out loud: > [@](#): > > I’ve seen their broken spirits as they realize I’m so much more man than them. And as I am the most modest and unassuming of men, it hurts me to humiliate them. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/35 "2002-08-06T07:05:29Z")
**THespos** , I don’t do urinals either. Haven’t for a long time (unless the need is urgent and the supply is constrained). You know why? _Because urination is not a public exhibition_, that’s why! It’s just not meant to be seen by other people! [sub]Why yes, I’m a WASP. Why do you ask?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/36 "2002-08-06T07:41:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sassy \* > I have that shot, but I am not sure it ever got on line 😛 Hi Sassy – hope all’s well ! If it didn’t make it online then I must be suffering from false memory syndrome because, for some inexplicable reason, I have quite a vivid image of it in my mind – I even remember thinking about playing with the shot in Photoshop (adding plumes of steam, etc…). Oh well… ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/37 "2002-08-06T08:05:43Z")
I always enjoy angling my stream up, preferably at a 45º for maximum distance. That’s always fun. _Mind the wind though!_ ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/38 "2002-08-06T08:17:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\ ***SofaKing** , that’s over at [urinal.net](http://urinal.net/duchamp/). \*\* That is, of course, “Fountain” by Marcel Duchamp, not “Urinal” by Marcel Duchamp. It stopped being a urinal when it became Art, you philistines :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/39 "2002-08-06T09:33:26Z")
But what I really want to know is, if pissing in a toilet is so bad- far behind pissing on a tree or a piss-wall or even an ordinary urinal, how come I’ve never heard of a private home equiped with anything else? And don’t tell me us girls force you to do without, lot of guys 1. live alone 2. force women to put all kind of stupid stuff it their house they wouldn’t have otherwise. 3. are living with women who, like myself, would not particularly object to a urinal or a whole piss wall, as long as we didn’t have to clean it. If they’re so great are there indeed urinals in private homes? Somewhere? If not, why not? And it’s cheap of me but… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > \*\* > " ‘Better than sex’ you say? pshaw! **Nothing** is better than sex!" > I’ve heard that too many times, but it’s just not true. For men, as much fun as sex is, there is only one point of extreme pleasure: the moment of orgasm. four to 10 seconds. Unless you do some of that crazy tantric shit, which I don’t believe in. 😛 > [/sub] \*\* Remind me not to go to bed with you, blessed, you sound like a lousy lay. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420/40 "2002-08-06T11:51:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > **If they’re so great are there indeed urinals in private homes? Somewhere? If not, why not?** Yes, I recall seeing them installed in a few of those awful home makeover programmes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilet-humor/122420.md?page=3)