# Toilets or Trees: What's your preference? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 1, 2006, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863 "2006-08-01T12:04:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/1 "2006-08-01T12:04:45Z")
My friend Dan had a saying: “God made trees, man made toilets. Who _you_ gonna trust?”. Then he’d proceed to go out and pee behind the blue spruce in my mom’s back yard (this was back when we were teenagers). By the time I finished college, the spruce was well on it’s way to being dead. It’s gone now. Poisoned, I think. But now I’ve got my _own_ yard to pee in. I’ve got a fence, and a swamp. I go through the gate, close it behind me, and it’s like the **Fortress of Solitude** meets the **Great Outdoors**. I guess I just like to pee outdoors. SmithWife won’t stand for it (pun intended), and vehemently objects when I head off to the “Outhouse”. I’ll tell you, though: I’d _rather pee outdoors_. How 'bout you? For the record, I don’t shit out there. I’m no barbarian. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/2 "2006-08-01T12:16:19Z")
Likewise. Whattya gonna do when you’re working out in the yard all smelly and sweaty and dirty? Go in the house and mess up the bathroom? I think not. The misses needs to be informed that you’re doing this for her sake. Less cleaning. I like to rationalise that the trace of human urine will keep the Bigfoots out of the garden, and rabbits too. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/3 "2006-08-01T13:25:34Z")
No doubt about it. I’m always a little surprised when guys use the portapottys at golf courses, when there are all these nice trees and bushes about. (Saves water too!) ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/4 "2006-08-01T13:33:21Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > No doubt about it. > I’m always a little surprised when guys use the portapottys at golf courses, when there are all these nice trees and bushes about. > (Saves water too!) Portapotties on Golf Courses?!? I’ve _never_ seen that. Of course, I play on goat pasture public courses. ---
**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/5 "2006-08-01T17:34:25Z")
Given the choice, I would rather take a leak outside. I don’t know if it is the breeze airing your junk out or what, but pissing outside is one the great things of being a guy… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/6 "2006-08-01T17:41:08Z")
Just remember the old saying: _donta pishta contra venta_. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/7 "2006-08-01T17:41:44Z")
I just bought and moved to a place in East Jeebus North Carolina. I’m surrounded by swamps and cotton fields. Ain’t nuttin better that whizzing outside, or so I thought. I whipped it out to drain the old lizard, and that’s when I was attacked by a pack of Tarheel skeeterbees. My crank is still swollen from the bites… :smack: OK, so I’m fibbing. A lot. I do whizz outside, but I sure as hell won’t sunbathe in my back yard, nude or not, because of the bugs… ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/8 "2006-08-01T17:48:44Z")
I really enjoy a good outdoor piss. I live in a house on 3 acres, three women and one bathroom. I get to do it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/9 "2006-08-01T17:51:05Z")
I am reminded of the **Non Sequitur** cartoon which showed two signs in the wilderness: One arrow pointing to an outhouse, marked “Women,” and the other a bunch of arrows pointing everywhere marked “Men.” The caption was “Why only men refer to it as The Great Outdoors.” I periodically go out and pee on the fenceposts, just to let the cats in the neighborhood know where the boundaries are. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toilets-or-trees-whats-your-preference/366863/10 "2006-08-01T18:29:05Z")
I love peeing outdoors, and do it every chance I get. I have done in in my own backyard many times, and I live in a row house. A lot of times if I find a secluded spot while walking the dog, I do it. I also tend to like pissing in alleys, but I did that a lot more when I drank more and before I was married.