# Tolkien fanboys attack! New female elf **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 5, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244 "2013-06-05T22:10:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/61 "2013-06-06T22:14:37Z")
I’m betting it’s Legolas as the love-interest. 100 Quatloos on Legolas. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/62 "2013-06-06T22:15:31Z")
I bet she gets the hots for Fili or Kili. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/63 "2013-06-06T22:19:53Z")
Eowyn wasn’t an elf. ETA: Sorry…just realized you meant Arwen. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/64 "2013-06-06T22:20:10Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I bet she gets the hots for Fili or Kili. I guess it’s just not the sort of movie in which one would bet on “both at once”, is it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/65 "2013-06-06T22:23:06Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Eowyn wasn’t an elf. > > ETA: Sorry…just realized you meant Arwen. You’re generous, and correct. Thank you. I thought Legolas was still a kid when Bilbo was doing his thing–is he super old too? > [@Malthus](#): > > I guess it’s just not the sort of movie in which one would bet on “both at once”, is it. 😉 Dude, elf on dwarf is gross enough. Two Dwarves, One Elf would be worse than well, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/66 "2013-06-06T22:29:05Z")
Legolas is an elf. For all we can tell, he might be millennia old. I mean, Galadriel is 20,000 years at a bare minimum-- By comparison with her, _anyone_ is young. And I’m betting that Tauriel’s love interest is just another hitherto-unnamed elf. Anything else would be icky, hugely disruptive to the story, or both. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/67 "2013-06-06T22:30:49Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > You’re generous, and correct. Thank you. > > I thought Legolas was still a kid when Bilbo was doing his thing–is he super old too? He’s super old - the book never says exactly how old, but he refers to the other characters as “you children”. So presumably he’d be old enough to be elf-legal back in Bilbo’s day - Aragorn was something like 90. 😉 > [@](#): > > Dude, elf on dwarf is gross enough. Two Dwarves, One Elf would be worse than well, you know. Hey, I’ve heard from my wife that those two are hot in the movie version, dwarves or not. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/68 "2013-06-06T22:42:04Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I don’t agree. If someone makes a positive claim about a person’s stated beliefs, it isn’t “lame” to ask what they are basing it on, stating that it seems to you out of character from what you know about that person generally. **Wendell Wagner** ’s post didn’t seem (to me anyway) to be relying on “what he knows about the person generally,” but rather, was phrase in a way which seemed to presuppose quite specific and conclusive information. It would have been interesting for him to present it, even as he asked for his interlocutor to do the same. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/69 "2013-06-06T22:55:01Z")
Now I kinda want Tauriel to get a crush on Thorin. And then get all mega-pissed-off at him when the dwarves’ escape gets her put on probation or whatever the Wood-elvish military equivalent is. And go all violently anti-dwarf in reaction and egg Thranduil on to besiege the Lonely Mountain and march to the siege at the head of the Wood-elves’ army with a coldly vindictive expression on her face. And then during the Battle of Five Armies unexpectedly encounter Thorin just about to be killed by an overwhelming crowd of orcs (who’ve already taken out Fili and Kili). And forget her animosity and fight to defend him, and get killed saving his life. And then Thorin goes all berserker (because secretly he liked her too), and clobbers the orcs into little pieces till he gets his fatal wound. …Ewwww. Did _I_ just say that?!? :eek: :smack: Please, everybody do me a favor and never mention this imaginary scenario again. (Except if that’s what turns out to actually happen in the movies, somebody has to resurrect this thread and acclaim me as _KIMSTU THE PALANTIR_. :p) ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/70 "2013-06-06T23:01:20Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > He’s super old - the book never says exactly how old, but he refers to the other characters as “you children”. So presumably he’d be old enough to be elf-legal back in Bilbo’s day - Aragorn was something like 90. 😉 In TT, Legolas discussed the founding of the halls of Meduseld, saying ‘Five hundred times have the red leaves fallen in Mirkwood in my home since then … and but a little while does that seem to us’. If 500 years is just a little while to him, He may well be several thousand years old. Since he considered himself a sylvan elf (he calls himself one when discussing the elves of Eregion), even though of Sindarin descent, he was probably born after Thranduil left Lindon early in the Second age. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/71 "2013-06-06T23:20:08Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > He or she is simply saying that s/he believes the previous assertion is wrong as a generality. The person who is to provide the proof is the one who made the specific assertion that is under attack. It isn’t up to the person questioning the assertion to provide disproof. > > “I know from my reading of X that X believed A” > > “Really? I think that’s wrong” > > “No, it is correct. Here is my evidence - X”. > > “Oh, I guess you are right” or “X doesn’t say what you think it says” or whatever. Great, that’s a reasonable conversation. My asking Wendell why he is so sure it’s wrong is also reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/72 "2013-06-07T00:04:37Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I think adding a female character with a romance subplot is a bit more than just straying one single jot. Other than a marketing ploy to attract women viewers I’m not sure why the addition of this character is necessary or even to be desired. It’s also a way of filling out the 4+ hours in the next two movies… ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/73 "2013-06-07T04:14:13Z")
My bet is that this fabricated Tauriel will fall for Kili or Filli, the two hottest dwarves in the films ( other than Thorin). You get the elf-dwarf conflict and the tragedy when the guy dies ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/74 "2013-06-07T04:45:47Z")
I would be happy about Tauriel’s addition, but not so happy that I’m willing to watch these movies. I don’t like the idea of what they probably mean about adding a romance subplot for her. Personally, I’d love it if they just gave her a house-husband. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/75 "2013-06-07T05:07:12Z")
> [@lisiate](#): > > It’s also a way of filling out the 4+ hours in the next two movies… Fair point. Those seem like bad reasons to add a character though. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/76 "2013-06-07T05:08:44Z")
Yeah, my enthusiasm for the second film just went down another notch. It was already in the “unless the RT score is in the 80’s I’ll wait for the DVD” territory after the first one. If this were a LOTR movie, I’d have trusted Jackson to make this a tolerable subplot while we got on to something more canon. No longer. ---
**Author:** ![Anduinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Anduinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduinel)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/77 "2013-06-07T05:17:31Z")
Regarding the romance: The persistent rumor is that the romance is archery-dwarf Kili having a one-sided crush on the badass elf lady. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/78 "2013-06-07T06:11:24Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I think adding a female character with a romance subplot is a bit more than just straying one single jot. Other than a marketing ploy to attract women viewers I’m not sure why the addition of this character is necessary or even to be desired. Well, quite, but there’s more mileage in mocking the fanboys for complaining that Jackson made Gimli’s beard an eighth of an inch shorter than it was in the book. There’s one consolation though: Jackson’s having to pad so frantically to spin The Hobbit out to three films that at least there shouldn’t be so much of what we got in LotR, where lots of what Tolkien actually wrote got spiked to make room for PJ’s latest whim. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/79 "2013-06-07T14:54:02Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > There’s one consolation though: Jackson’s having to pad so frantically to spin The Hobbit out to three films that at least there shouldn’t be so much of what we got in LotR, where lots of what Tolkien actually wrote got spiked to make room for PJ’s latest whim. :rolleyes: Like the “Fifteen Birds” song? ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244/80 "2013-06-07T20:23:17Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Dude, elf on dwarf is gross enough. Two Dwarves, One Elf would be worse than well, you know. When they were toes-to-toes, his nose was in it. When they were nose-to-nose, his toes were in it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tolkien-fanboys-attack-new-female-elf/660244.md?page=5)